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Saff bit the inside of her cheek, holding back the rest of what she wanted to say. It wouldn’t make a difference, anyway.
She turned, stalking to the front door. Then ripped it open and stepped out, pulling it shut behind her.
She walked down the steps of the porch, then paused, rubbing a rough hand over her face. The thought of Maddie staying there longer, when she knew she’d be in danger, sent hot rage coursing within her.
A low cough pulled from her lungs, still aching from the damage of the fire.
She took a step back, dropping onto the bottom step of the porch.
As much as she hated it, and even if Josh was just doing it to bait her into an argument, he was right. There wasn’t a reason for her to still be there. At least, not a reason she was willing to say out loud.
For all she knew, Maddie could’ve wanted her gone. She hadn't spoken a word to her since she'd told her everything. So maybe she really had gotten the closure she needed. Maybe Maddie was ready for her to leave.
But still, she just couldn’t bring herself to walk away. No matter how much sense it made, she just couldn’t walk away from her. She’d never been able to, not really, not since the first day they’d met.
And now, she couldn’t ignore that fact any longer. She couldn’t hide it or deny it.
The door creaked open behind her, and she flinched, turning.
To her surprise, it was Erin that slowly hobbled out of the door, closing it gently behind her.
Erin gave her a small, tender smile as she made her way to the step, sitting down beside her.
Saff cleared her throat, looking down at the ground beneath her boots.
A comfortable silence settled between them for a few moments before Erin finally spoke.
“You know you sort of deserved that, right?”
Saff’s eyes snapped up, giving her a sidelong look.
Erin gave her a semi-apologetic smile. “I’m not saying you weren’t right, but..” she trailed off, shrugging lightly.
Saff released a breath, turning back to stare across the yard.
Erin was quiet for a long while before she finally spoke again.
“You know, when Maddie was born, and I realized she was going to live a harder life than most people, I was terrified.” She rubbed her palms against her thighs. “James was the one who really held it together then, who made me believe that everything would be okay. But I just—“ she paused, shaking her head. “I just wanted to protect her—from everything.”
Then she chuckled, and Saff turned, watching her.
“But Maddie—God, she was so stubborn.”
The corner of Saff’s mouth tilted up.
“She fought me on everything. No matter what I said or did, she always wanted to do everything on her own. And she was always so darn good at it, so I never had an excuse to try to hold her back—to protect her. She was always so independent, so ready to do everything on her own, even if I wasn’t ready for it.”
The smile fell slightly from Erin’s face.
“So when the infection started to spread, and I realized I’d be able to be with her at all times and protect her..” She trailed off, closing her eyes. “I actually felt relieved at first.”
A look of guilt, or remorse passed over the woman’s face. “When you become a mother, the only thing that matters is your children. Their happiness, their safety. You’ll do anything for it.”
Saff watched her carefully, and she wondered how her own mother could have been so different. How she so easily left her behind.
Erin finally looked over at her with a soft smile. “I’ve seen Maddie in many relationships.”
Saff eyed her carefully, cautiously.