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“Interesting.” His brow drops, but I can tell he’s judging me. “Soooo…”

“So,” I repeat back to him, unsure of what to say next.

“I think we should go see if Father Robert needs any help with the setup for tonight. You’re comin’ to the Youth Group meeting tonight, right?” Donovan starts for the door and opens it, beckoning me to go first.

“Thanks,” I say as he follows behind me. “And I don’t know, I might have plans tonight.”

He catches up and takes the lead as we head into the main atrium again, this time making a beeline for Father Robert.

“Hey, kiddo! I saw you were takin’ Miss Loveum to our Youth Group room.” Father Robert’s booming voice makes me jump a little.

He reaches his arm out and pats me on the shoulder.

“Yes, sir.” Donovan smiles cheekily. “I heard she’s gon’ be joinin’ us.”

“She sure is.” Father Robert turns to Donovan like I’m not standing right here with them. “In fact, we have a meeting tonight after mass. I’d like you to be there.”

Right as he says “tonight,” I think of Drew. I picture her gorgeous face and rosy cheeks in the cold. The way her lips turn inward when she smiles super big, and the way her hair fallsneatly around her face, framing her jawline. How I want to run my fingers along that perfect jawline and lift it up so her eyes meet mine and our lips are inches apart.

My thoughts are cut off abruptly by Donovan’s loud voice.

“Well, are ya comin’ to our meetin’ tonight?”

“I, um, have other commitments tonight.” I offer my best friendly smile like I’m really bummed I’m missing their meeting tonight, even though I’m still not completely sure what this “elite” group does that regular mass doesn’t.

“Well, I suppose that’s mighty fine.” Father Robert shakes his head with a smile, although I can tell he’s disappointed. “We just now told you about it, so it’s not your fault you made other plans.”

I nod in appreciation and head back over to where my mother is still speaking with Eliza, giving Donovan space to suck up to Father Robert without me holding him back, which I could tell he was getting annoyed by.

I don’t mind missing this meeting. I’d much rather be with Drew, regardless of the fact that being around her eats me alive just as much as it soothes me.

It’s no different than any other teenage girl skipping class to go hang out with her boyfriend, right? Mother wouldn’t even have to know. It’s not like she has a calendar of all Holy Trinity events and meetings ever planned. Besides, I think she likes Drew as a friend for me, even if not in the waysIlike Drew for me.

******

My mood instantly lightens when I see Drew making her way down the hill and to our playground.

Ourplayground.

It has a nice ring to it. I catch myself smiling too hard and quickly move my lips to a more subtle smile, not wanting tocreep her out as she gets closer to where I’m sitting on my little blanket in the grass.

I jump up from my spot when she reaches my blanket.

“Hi!” I lean in to kiss her, but she throws her arms around me instead. I wrap my arms around her as well, burying my head into the crevice of her collarbone and taking in her warmth and sweet scent of earthly herbs.

I wait for her to say something back. Anything. A greeting, the latest gossip about people at school, something embarrassing Mr. Rickshaw said. She says nothing, but I don’t mind. She’s holding me, and I’m holding her, and that’s all that matters.

Suddenly, my shoulder feels extra stingy cold, like the crisp air is whipping harder against that spot than anywhere else on my body. Then I hear a sniffle. I pull away from her embrace and take her face into my hands, holding her out in front of me so I can see her better.

She’s crying.

“Hey! Hey, what happened?” I rush to wipe her tears as she drops down to the blanket, cross-legged. “Did I do something? I’m really sorry if I-”

“No,” she interrupts, sniffing incessantly. “It’s not you.”

I look intently into her eyes with sympathy, trying my best to look like I, myself, don't want to break down crying at the sight of her crying.

“What is it then?”