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Drew late last night. She’s been calling a little extra recently,

and I can’t blame her. I’ve been pulling away right when

things were going well.

I can’t say I’m proud of it, or that I’m even doing it on

purpose. And it is true, I have been really busy with Holy

Trinity stuff, especially with my mother pushing me into

leadership roles in a house I’ve barely taken my shoes off

in. I mean, Ijustmemorized the route to the bathrooms

last time we went to mass.

I can’t blame the distance solely on Holy Trinity,

though. I’ve been purposely missing some of her calls and

keeping myself busy so I don’t have as much time to be

around her. To get closer to her. To let myself fully love

her, even though it may be far too late for that.

But just as I experienced before with her, what is built

quickly can be broken just as quickly, and right now our

bond feels so sacred. The more time we spend together,

the more chances we have to ruin it. I can’t take that risk,

but I also can’t risk the opposite. I can’t risk her becoming

so much to me that it kills me when we have to inevitably

split, and I can’t help it if Holy Trinity gets to us before

college does.

I shoot Drew a text asking to meet at the playground

later tonight. I figure I owe her this much at least. It’s not

like I don’t want to see her either. I want to see her so badly. I want to feel her warm skin against mine, and I want her to hold me and tell me everything will work out. I want to feel like all my problems are small, and time stops

like it usually does when I’m with her.

I want to lay my head in her lap and fumble with the

itchy grass beside my ear as she runs her fingers through

my hair and tells me that neither church nor college could

pull us apart. That we’re stronger than any external force. I want her to tell me she found a magic stopwatch