Page 92 of Guitars and Cages

“Yes, but do you know the difference?”

I couldn’t help it. I was tired of her baiting me and tired of this whole conversation. I leaned across the table, looking into her eyes. “Yeah, I do. You were a cheap fuck, and Gage was the guy I was dating.”

Her eyes went wide, and she swung to slap me, but I caught her wrist this time, not squeezing, just controlling.

“Asher!” Conner hissed in my ear. “Let her go. Holy shit, that was uncalled for.”

I let her go and shrugged. “I’m tired of her bullshit. I don’t owe her an explanation.”

“Actually, it sounds like maybe you do,” Conner pointed out. “I mean, you guys do have a kid together. If you aren’t going to be around for the kid, then maybe you should at least say something about why.”

I glared at him.

“Exactly,” Eve said, rubbing her wrist. I hadn’t grabbed it that fucking hard.

I glared from him to her and back again, furious with them both for ganging up on me now. “Fine, you want an explanation, fine. When I left here I went to California, thought maybe I’d be good enough to put together a band, make some music. Only everyone in California is a wannabe actor or rock star, and you can’t even make enough cash to eat, let alone live by playing music on the streets. But I did learn what they will pay for out there. Sex sells, so I sold it, and when I left California I kept on selling it to whoever wanted to pay. I fight, too, and that started paying even better. So there you have it, Eve. That’s where I’ve been, twenty-plus states and hundreds of beds. Anything else you wanna know?”

I’d thought her eyes were wide before, but that was nothing compared to how they were now. She sputtered, trying to find words. I stood and picked up my tray, and was about to get rid of it when Conner’s hand closed on my arm, stalling me.

“You shouldn’t touch me, God only knows what I’ve got,” I told him with a smirk, wanting him away from me, too. I’d blurted out my last secret and now I felt tired and numb. Except for my stomach; that wanted to expel what little I’d managed to swallow.

Conner didn’t let go, though; he looked up at me like he was seeing me for the first time.

“What, never seen a whore up close before?” I couldn’t resist asking.

“Asher...”

“Let go, Conner, please? I wanna get rid of the tray and go back and sit with Gage, okay?”

“Yeah, uhh, okay,” he said, taking his hand away.

For a moment I wanted to grab it back and explain more. Tell him that it hadn’t been hundreds of times, that I had been careful enough to make sure they’d used protection, that I’d gotten tested regularly and only did it when I was starving enough to be desperate for food or cold enough to be desperate for a room somewhere, or desperately needed a fight so I could have enough cash to last awhile. I wanted to tell him that I only ever sold myself to one person now, but that would mean talking about Catfish, and I wasn’t ready to do that yet. So maybe I had one secret left after all. Instead, I walked away and headed back to Gage’s room.

His old man looked up at me when I stepped into the room, and again I hesitated at moving from that safe spot near the door, but he nodded at me and turned his attention back to Gage, so I went back to where I’d been sitting, and slid my hand over Gage’s.

“It’s gonna be a long road if he makes it. There’s a bunch of hardware in his left leg holding it together. He’d never walk without a limp again.”

“But he’d be alive; that’s all that matters.”

He nodded at that, watching me with those knowing eyes of his.

“It ain’t ever right for a father to have to think about burying his son. I wouldn’t care if he lost that leg, as long as he was alive.”

“You know he’d manage; he’d learn to do things just as good as he ever did.”

“That he would.”

We fell into an easy silence for a while, me stroking the back of Gage’s hand or his arm, waiting for the moment when Eve came in with all that venom and fury still dripping from every word. His dad was sitting across from me, his hand on Gage’s shoulder, occasionally stroking what was left of his hair. I was looking at Gage’s face when he opened his eyes this time.

“You...stayed.”

“Yeah, I did.”

“Good.”

“I’ve missed you. Wish you could have seen the ocean with me.”

“Which...ocean?”