Page 29 of Guitars and Cages

“I said I would.”

“Yeah, but that didn’t mean you were gonna.”

I snorted, narrowing my eyes at him. I hated that he still knew me far too well. Still knew I’d run if the situation called for it; hell, I’d run from less.

“You wanna come in, or are we gonna do this in the doorway again?” he asked, his wide green eyes filled with a sadness that made him look far older than his years. I stepped inside, and he closed the door behind me as I stood there looking around the room. Alex was still one of the messiest people I knew. Funny, but somehow I’d thought that being what he was and all he’d have learned to be neater, or maybe that was my long list of stereotypes kicking in.

“You want a beer?” he asked as he sat on the edge of the bed.

I grabbed the chair, turned it around, and straddled it. “Yeah, I’m sure I’m gonna need one.”

He grabbed me a beer, popped the cap, and handed it to me, and I tried not to drink it down in one go ’cause there didn’t look to be a lot of beers in that little fridge.

“Blaze—”

“You don’t get to call me that anymore,” I growled, angry and defensive. I didn’t want that kind of familiarity, didn’t want anything that was going to send me spiraling into memories.

“Fine, whatever, Asher. Guess it was too much to hope that the years would have mellowed you. I can see you’re still doing your best to prove how easy it is for you to act like an asshole.”

“Who says it’s acting?”

“I do!” he yelled, and then lowered his voice, his eyes still flashing at me, showing every bit of the temper that ran in every male in our family. One hell of an inheritance, really, but at least it was something no one could ever take away.

“I ain’t acting, so why don’t you just get on with whatever the hell it is you’re gonna say.”

I didn’t think it was possible, but his eyes narrowed more, and I could see the flash of pain in them and knew my stubborn anger was hurting him.

“You two were perfect for each other,” he said out of the blue, and I blinked, ’cause I didn’t have a clue who he was talking about.

“Who?”

“You and Gage. He had a message for you, said he hopes you rot in hell.”

I flinched. I tried not to, but damn, that had caught me off guard. I opened my mouth to tell him never to say that name to me again and that I didn’t give a damn about that fuckin’ message, but Alex raised his hand to stop me, his eyes tired.

“You know, I didn’t come all this way to fight with you, Asher. I came because you sounded scared on the phone, and seriously over your head, and I thought it would be easier if the two of us took care of Rory. It’s got to be easier than you trying to do it alone.”

“What the hell do you know? Rory and I are doing just fine, thanks; don’t need any help.”

He laughed then. The fucker actually had to gall to come right out and laugh at me.

“I saved your texts, and your voice mail messages. I can play them back for you if you’d like.”

I had the good grace to look ashamed, looking away from him and down to the floor.

“I gotta admit, I wasn’t gonna come. I wasn’t sure I was ready to face you yet, or Morgan, but then you got to drunk-dialing me one night, and I bet you don’t even remember what you said, do you?”

I shook my head, still looking down. It was hot in here. I wished I was back outside.

“You said you needed me. You said you were tired of living your lies, that being alone had started to hurt too fuckin’ much, and you…you cried, Asher. You cried over the phone and said you wished you weren’t such a fuckin’ coward.” He paused.

I knew he was watching me try not to cringe, because those words were everything I’d felt, but been too afraid to say. Fuck my life; this was exactly why I didn’t need a fuckin’ phone, too easy for my secrets to worm their way free.

“Finish your beer, Asher,” he said when I stayed silent. “And have another; I’ve got plenty on the other side of the bed. Maybe after you have enough you’ll start being as honest as you were in that phone call, ’cause that’s the guy I came all this way to see.”

I raised my head and gave him that arrogant smirk I always had before a fight. “I was drunk, Alex. You know better than ta believe anything I say when I’ve been drinkin’.”

He laughed. He laughed so hard that for a moment I thought he was gonna laugh himself right off the bed. “When you’re drinking is about the only time I dare believe you; the rest of the time when you open your mouth all that comes out is lies.”