Page 36 of Guitars and Cages

The command came from an unfamiliar voice. I tried pulling away, but whoever had me was holding firm. I blinked and struggled to focus, which brought Conner’s worried face into view.

“Get away from me,” I muttered, swiping at my eyes with the hand I hadn’t hurt. I didn’t want him to see me cryin’ and I sure as hell didn’t want him to see me hurt.

“No. I don’t know what the hell is going on, but I’m not gonna leave you here looking this messed up.”

“I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not. You’re bleeding, you’re pale, and your eyes aren’t focusing on me.”

“I’m fine,” I muttered again, trying to push him away.

He batted my hands to the side effortlessly and took my face in his hands. “Look at me,” he said, his voice harsh. I tried, but I couldn’t focus enough to see him clearly, and I was starting to feel sick from running after the only meal I’d eaten in days.

“That’s what I thought,” he said. “Now stop being a stubborn asshole and let me take you back to your apartment.”

“No!” I yelled, kicking out, scrambling to get away. I couldn’t go back to my apartment; Morgan was there and I couldn’t face him after what I’d done. I didn’t want to see the hate and disgust on his face, even though I knew I deserved it. “Get the fuck away from me and leave me alone.”

“Not gonna happen,” he told me.

“Why are you here, anyway?”

“’Cause you damn near took me out on the stairs again. There was blood on my hand after you crashed into me, your blood, so I went after you. I wasn’t sure what was going on; I’m still not, but I knew you were hurt.”

“The fuck do you care?”

“You might be one of the biggest assholes I have ever had the misfortune of meeting, but no one, not even a bastard like you, deserves to be hurt or abused. So who was the big guy yelling at you, and what did he do to you?”

“Nothing.”

“Bullshit.”

“No, it ain’t,” I told him, trying again to focus. “Morgan’s like an uncle; he didn’t do anything to me. I did it to myself.”

I left out the why; he didn’t need to know that part, and I didn’t want to think about why it had happened, just that it shouldn’t have. I felt his hands on my arms, turning them over, looking at the mess I’d made of them.

“They look infected.”

“That’s what he said.”

“He’s right. Let’s get you back to your apartment so he can clean them.”

“No. I can’t go back there, all right? I can’t, so forget you saw me and leave me the fuck alone.”

He chuckled then. I didn’t see what was so goddamned funny. I was gonna have to go back eventually, once Morgan had given up on me, taken Rory, and left to go back to his bar. Then I could sneak in, pack what I needed, grab my bike, and take off. Until then I’d have to stay right here, which meant Conner needed to go before he started prying at all my secrets.

“Are you so filled with hate that you can’t see when someone is trying to help you?”

“No one can help me, Conner, so fuck off and leave me alone.”

“I can’t do that, not when it looks like you’re determined to hurt yourself more than you already have. You could do some serious damage smashing your head against the wall like that, so either let me help you back to your apartment, let me call someone to come get you, or we sit here until you pass out and I carry you back.”

I snorted. “Yeah, whatever; there’s no way in hell you could carry me.”

“It wouldn’t be easy, but I’d manage if necessary. I’m hoping you’ll do us both a favor and not make it necessary.”

I didn’t get why he was here. I didn’t get his concern or why he was being so goddamned insistent on staying with me. It might have pissed me off, if I wasn’t feeling so tired and sick.

“Please, just...go away, okay? I’ll go home later. I just want to be left alone right now.”