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"Yes." I said.

He nodded, regarding me with a somber look.

"I'm afraid his liver disease has moved into a very serious stage. It's affected his kidneys and they are failing."

"How could this happen so quickly?" I asked in a broken voice.

"Quickly? Oh, this hasn't happened quickly. Mr. Marvin has been receiving treatment for cirrhosis for some time now. He's been repeatedly warned about his alcohol consumption. Far some reason his consumption dramatically increased recently and that has led to serious complications. The disease can be subtle. Sometimes it is discovered, sometimes not. Such cases are called cryptoenic cirrhosis. Some may have only subtle physical changes, such as red palms, red spots that blanch on their upper body which we call spider angioma or fibrosis of tendons in the palms. Some suffer from jaundice, or have memory problems. Every case is different.

"I'm sorry." he said. "I have to move him to intensive care. Without a kidney transplant, he must go onto dialysis immediately and with the continued degeneration..." His voice trailed off.

He waited to see if I had any more questions. but I couldn't speak. He nodded and then continued down the corridor. Austin held my hand. Then. I wheeled myself into Jake's room, He looked unconscious, but when I reached his bed, he turned and smiled.

"Hey. Princess.... what are you doing here?"

'Oh Jake, it's better I ask what are you doing here?" I countered. "I just spoke with the doctor. You knew you were sick and you kept on drinking."

"Doctors," he said grimacing. He closed his eyes. "I'll be all right. I'll be out of here in no time. Don't worry about me." he said. He opened his eyes, "Say, how did you get here?"

"Austin drove me in the van." I said.

"Oh. You better learn how to drive yourself," he said softly.

"I will. Austin will help me immediately," I said looking up at him. He nodded.

"Sure."

"Good," Jake said as if that was the last thing he had to be sure would happen before he left this world. He closed his eyes again and fell immediately into a deep sleep that looked like a coma. I waited to see if he would waken, but he was still sleeping when they came to move him to the intensive care unit. Austin and I watched them prepare him for the move and then wheel him away on a gurney.

"Still wonder why I think everyone who cares for me suffers?" I asked Austin.

"Stop it. Rain." he snapped. "Don't start berating yourself. You're not responsible for this. You heard the doctor. Jake knew he shouldn't drink and yet he continued to do so."

"Just take me home. Austin. Take me home and leave me there," I tol

d him.

On the way home I talked about Jake and told Austin much of what I knew and understood about his relationship with Grandmother Hudson. I described how right from the start he had been my best friend.

"I know he blames himself for what happened to me. Austin. I know that drove him to drink more. Don't you see? That's why I say anyone who gets too close to me. suffers.

"Aunt Victoria is right, but not for the reason she thinks. Don't come back here. Austin," I begged him. "You're better off just forgetting about me. I'll go get another therapist."

We had pulled up to the house and he had turned off the engine.

"Stop that silly talk," he ordered.

I started to cry and he seized me by the shoulders and shook me, harder than I anticipated. I looked up at him.

"Stop it!" he cried. "You're not going to wallow in this self-pity. Rain. I won't let you. I know you can return to a good, productive life and I'm not going anywhere, so get that out of your foolish head," he insisted, his eyes steely. "Tomorrow, we'll start your driving lessons, but right now let's let you inside and comfortable."

He got out and helped me out of the van. Then he wheeled me up the ramp and into the house. Mrs. Bogart was nowhere around. She had either left for some reason or was in her own room. I didn't call for her. Austin took me to my room and closed the door behind us. I sat there feeling stunned and helpless. He kissed me on the cheek and began to help me undress and get ready for bed. I let him do everything. For the moment I enjoyed being helpless.

After he carried me to my bed and lay me down, he brought the blanket up around me snugly and kissed me. I felt like a little girl again, back in the projects with Mama tucking me in and wishing me sweet dreams.

Austin didn't leave. He sat for a while and just watched me sleeping. I heard him rise and go to the bathroom. but I didn't open my eyes. I drifted in and out of sleep and each time I opened my eyes, he was still sitting there. Finally. I groaned and looked at the clock. It was nearly two in the morning.

"Why don't you go home. Austin?"