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"He brought beer," she muttered as if she had discovered the real murderer. "Grant will want to know. He brought beer." I could envision her maddened, her eyes wide,

"He drank it at dinner, hours and hours before he left. Mother."

"Well then, maybe this is all a mistake," she said in a much lighter, more hopeful voice. "Maybe Grant's confused. It's another young man in a similar car. I'll call him back on his car phone. That might be true."

"I don't think so," I said softly.

"Alison's still asleep. She'll be destroyed. They argued like any brother and sister all the time, but she loved him and he loved her. He's going to be a lawyer like Grant, you know," she said, her voice changing, sounding younger, even childish. She fluttered a thin laugh. "He'll be a great lawyer. Everyone says so. He's articulate, bright and he makes a very impressive appearance. You should see him in his tuxedo. Juries will fall over themselves trying to satisfy him.

"Grant says the same thing," she continued, following it with another little laugh. "He's not dead," she said through her tears. "God wouldn't take him now. It's a mistake. Grant was just overwhelmed with the sight of this terrible accident. He called too quickly. He'll call back any moment and say, Megan. Megan. I made a big mistake."

I didn't reply. Brody had been killed. Suddenly, I couldn't breathe. My chest froze, my lungs locked. I was getting dizzy.

"I don't feel Good. Mother. I can't talk anymore."

"What? Hello? Mother." she said.

"What? What did you say?"

"MOTHER!" she screamed.

I dropped the receiver and grabbed my stomach. Just before everything in it came rushing up and out. I made it to the bathroom and fell to my knees. I vomited and vomited into the toilet until I was in terrific pain. Then I fell on my side and lay there on the cold bathroom floor. I brought my knees up tight against my stomach, and in moments I was asleep.

.

With the pho

ne off the cradle, no one could call me. Bad news was electric, even from great distances. Jake heard the horrible news from Victoria, who informed him she had tried to call me and was told by the operator that the line was not working. He drove up to the house quickly and rang the bell. When I didn't respond, he got the spare key hidden in the garage and let himself in. I didn't hear him calling my name downstairs, but moments later, he came charging up and discovered me on the bathroom floor.

"Rain!" he cried shaking me.

I opened my eyes. The lids felt like they were made of iron. My eyeballs ached.

"What happened?" he asked. "Whaaa.. ."

I looked around, confused, forgetting why I was in the bathroom.

"Victoria called. Brody was killed last night in a car accident. Do you know about that?"

I closed my eyes again-- closed them hard and wished that this wasn't happening. that Jake wasn't here, that when I opened them again I'd be in bed, and that it was all just a nightmare. I'll be forever grateful. I thought. I'll do anything God wants me to do.

"Rain," Jake pursued. "What exactly happened here? Why are you on the floor in the bathroom with the phone off the hook?"

I groaned and sat up slowly. He went to soak a wash cloth and then he put it against my forehead. I held it there myself.

"I feel so sick," I said.

"Can you stand up?" he asked.

"I don't know," I said.

He helped me to my feet and guided me back to the bed. When I was lying down with the blanket around me. I looked up at him and told him my mother had called, Yes. I know it all. Then I started to cry, but no tears came. All I could do was shake. My well of sorrow had run dry for now.

"He must have been going like a bat out of hell," Take said. "The car is totaled, squashed like a smashed pumpkin. He wasn't wearing his seat belt either, so he got thrown and slammed. They think he died immediately. They hope," he added. "Maybe I should have hung around after I saw he had come. huh?"

Everyone was looking to share the blame, I thought. "It wouldn't have mattered. Jake."

"Did you two have a fight or something?" he asked and I told him what had happened. I spoke slowly, like someone in a trance. He just listened and then slowly shook his head.