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The only sour note in all this was my half sister Alison. My mother finally had told her all there was to tell about me. and Alison had a predictable reaction. She went from denial to anger and then to indifference and rebellion. My mother told me she didn't think Alison would attend the wedding.

"We've been having a lot of problems with her even before all this." my mother said. "I don't want to get into depressing things at this time, but she's being quite a handful, hanging around with the wrong people, drinking-- even, we fear, doing drugs. Grant's very concerned and is trying to do everything possible, including private counseling."

"I'm sorry," I said. "Maybe some day we can be friends," I added, but that was about as realistic in my mind as walking again.

My mother nodded without any confidence in her eyes and we stopped talking about her.

Two days before our ceremony, my father and his wife arrived from London. We insisted they stay with us. I wanted them to get to know Austin well and it gave me more time to get to know them better too. We had invited my great-aunt and great-uncle, but they claimed it was impossible to break a previous engagement involving the royal family, which was fine with me whether true or not.

After my father had arrived, and up until the day of the ceremony, my mother avoided coming to the house. Of course, their meeting was inevitable. Everyone was very civil when it finally happened. Grant actually got into a long conversation concerning politics in England with my father. My mother walked about the house and grounds with Leanna, talking about the flora and the indigenous trees. Still. I felt as if we were all tiptoing over thin ice and it would take only a longer glance, an unfortunate word or memory to sink us all.

Thankfully, nothing like that occurred and the wedding itself went off like a space launch every single part of it conducted without the smallest mistake, even my being wheeled down the aisle to the altar. What a thrill it was for me to have my real father there to give me away! Austin had thought ahead and had my place raised so that he and I were practically eye level with each other during our vows. The ceremonial kiss went well. too, and everyone was pleased.

It seemed so strange to have so much festivity in grandmother Hudson's house afterward. For so long it had been the scene of dark and depressing events, but with the decorations, the music, the happy guests and the good food, it was easy to push the shadows back, make them retreat below where I hoped they would be shut up forever and ever.

Nevertheless, when it was all over, and I had to say good-bye to my father and his wife, promising to visit them as soon as we were able. I had a dreadfully deep foreboding that all this happiness and joy would dissipate like smoke in the wind and leave us with the cold reality to remind me that I was still a paraplegic. that I still had a difficult birth ahead of me and that I would have even a more challenging time trying to be a mother. The rose-colored glasses had to be lifted from my eyes. Gray skies were also a part of our world, and not all the music, flowers, fancy dishes and wonderful food could change any of it for long.

We were able to hold it off a while longer because of our honeymoon in the Bahamas, but when we returned, we did have our dark days, our depressing moments as we adjusted to our new lives together. However. Austin never showed any strain or regret. How perfect he was for me because he was so familiar with what someone who had my handicap experienced. He was still my therapist, even during my months of pregnancy, chiding me if I was too lazy, reminding me that the stronger I made myself, the easier the delivery would be for me and for our baby.

Now that Aunt Victoria's threats were gone. Austin and his uncle continued to develop their company. He hated leaving me every workday, but I insisted he not give up any of his life nor his career.

"If to make this marriage work, your sacrifice is so much bigger than mine. Austin. I will be weighed down with too much guilt to ever be happy," I warned.

He understood, and assumed his full duties. In my third trimester, we hired a part-time nurse to be with me. Austin found a delightful woman in her fifties. Mrs. Meriweather, who had actually assisted in two pregnancies and post deliveries of paraplegic women. She agreed that after I had given birth, she would move in with us for as long as I needed her. She had never married and had no immediate family to consider. It seemed perfect.

As the clock ticked toward the day of my delivery. I grew more anxious. Fortunately, the more serious complications Doctor Baker had described never occurred. but I kept thinking what if after all this effort and preparation, something terrible happened? If I lost this baby, I would surely never even think seriously about trying to have another.

At the beginning of what was to be my final week of pregnancy, they took me to the hospital. As Doctor Baker had predicted, I went into a normal delivery with assistance of vacuum extraction. Austin and I had decided not to learn our baby's sex beforehand. We wanted the surprise and the fun that came with predicting. He was there in the delivery room and the moment I heard my baby cry. Austin leaned over to kiss me and say, "It's a girl. I win."

We had already chosen names. Our choice for a girl was Summer. It was when he and I had grown to know and love each other and it was the season we both loved the most. Austin, showing off. quoted Shakespeare's Sonnet 18 and recited. "But thy eternal summer shall not fade,"

"She will always be summer to us, warm and full of life," he predicted when I held her for the first time in my arms.

"I hope I can be a full mother to her. Austin," I said, worrying aloud now that she was born and actually breathing and sleeping against my breast.

"Of course you will. Rain. Who else knows more about how important that is than you?"

"That's why I worry," I said, rocking her gently.

"That's why you won't fail her," he insisted.

My wonderful, optimistic husband, closing the door on any dark thoughts, stood beside me, smiling, making me believe in myself and our future together as a family.

It wasn't until the spring of the following year that I was to hear from Roy. He had been in an army prison all that time and was too ashamed to let me know. When I spoke to him on the phone. I had no idea how close he was,

"I wanted to see if you hated me for not writing or calling you before this." he admitted.

"Roy, I could never hate you, but you shouldn't have kept me from knowing how you were."

"I'm sorry," he said. "About a lot of things,'"

"Where are you?"

He hesitated and then said. "About ten minutes away."

"You're not! You're here! Oh. Roy, I can't wait to see you. Hurry," I cried. "We have tons and tons of stuff to catch up on."

He laughed and hung up.