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Even though it is cold as shit right now, I decide to walk the two blocks to the sorority house to take Charlie her favorite pink sweatshirt. I didn’t text her before I left. I didn’t want to give her the chance to say never mind.

As I round the corner, I pull out my phone and text her.

Beck: Hey. I’m outside with your sweatshirt.

Charlie: I told Casey to bring it to me. Sorry!

Beck: Don’t be sorry. I’m happy to do it. Come out.

Charlie: Okay, give me a sec.

When she steps out the door, she’s in tiny shorts and a long-sleeved shirt, which is so old that it’s practically see-through. And UGGs on her feet. At least she put shoes on. Charlie hates wearing shoes.

Her arms are crossed tightly around her body, and I can see her starting to shiver already. She takes the last step down and comes to stand in front of me.

“Hi,” she says cautiously, and I hate it.

I want to reach for her so bad and just pick her up and carry her back to my house with me—and then of course fuck her all night. I miss her so damn much. It takes everything in my power not to kiss her too. Her lips are begging for me to kiss her. But I won’t tonight, unless she reaches for me.

“Hey. You didn’t answer my text this morning. Did you get the peonies?”

“Wait, what? I did reply. You didn’t get it?” She pulls out her phone. “Ohmigod. I forgot to hit Send. I’m sorry. Yes, I did get them. Thank you, Beck. But you really didn’t need to do that. You have a lot going on right now.”

I nod. “I do, but you will always be my priority.”

I’m looking at her, and I’m trying to will her to meet my eyes, but she turns her head to the side.

“Beck, I know I am, but you need to stay focused right now, okay? And I feel like there is a lot we still need to say to each other, and it’s just not the right time to hash it out.”

“Hash it out? What does that mean? We’re not broken up, and we never will be again.”

She interrupts me before I can say more, trying to get me to look at her, “No, wrong word choice. I just mean, we need to talk about some things, and those things can wait until after the championship game, Beck.”

“Okay, Charlie. I hear you. I’ll just head home then.”

I hand her the sweatshirt and step back from her. I start to turn to leave, but she grabs my arm.

“Beck, it’s killing me to stay away. You know that, right?”

Turning to face her, I can’t keep myself from touching her. I bring my hands up to cup her face and look her in the eye. I need her to hear what I’m saying.

“Charlie, this time away from you has killed me too. I can’t even come up with enough words to say I’m sorry. I understand why you’ve done it, and I know I deserve it after I blew up at you after seeing my mom. But don’t for one second believe that I don’t need you. I need you and want you every second of every day. You are and have always been my reason for moving forward, for trying to heal, for proving to myself that Iamworthy of your love. I’ll probably always be a work in progress, and I am back in regular counseling sessions, but I beg you to be patient with me. Because I promise you, everything I do is for you.”

Tears are running down her face, and she reaches up to grasp my wrists. “Beck, I’m sorry for how I handled it too. I didn’t know what to do or say. But one thing you never, ever, have to be unsure of is my love for you. You are a part of me, and I will never let you go again. And I’m so glad you’re going back to counseling. I think that’s amazing, and I’m so proud of you. Let’s just get through this last game, okay. Stay focused.Win.”

I nod, then bring my forehead to hers. “Okay, baby. I’ll give you, us, this time, but you better be ready for me. Once we win this game, you’re mine.”

She laughs. “Oh, I know I’m yours. Always have been.”

Pulling back, she softly kisses me. “I better go inside before I freeze.”

“We don’t want that. Although…I’m happy to warm you up. Just say the word.”

“Beck! Don’t tempt me. You better go before I change my mind and follow you home.” She lightly pushes me away.

“Okay, okay. I’ll talk to you later.” I turn and walk away from her. Again. But when I round the corner, I look back and see her still watching me so I stop and she blows me a kiss. I give her a wink and a smile in return.

When I get home, I pull out my phone to put it on the charger. I just want to shower—and probably jerk off—then go to bed. When I plug in my phone, I see a missed text. It’s the text she forgot to send earlier today, then another one right after.