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Sure, there were times when I was little that I would cry or beg him to stay before he left so we weren’t alone with our mom. And maybe I was a little angry too. But with all the years of counseling we’ve had individually and as a family, I understand how my mom’s alcoholism affected us all. All three of us were victims of her abuse.

I’ve been checking in with him and Brooke every day. My mom can’t leave the state, but I still want to make sure she hasn’t tried to contact Brooke. I know my dad has a handle on it, but I was Brooke’s protector from the time she was born basically. Mom has no parental rights to Brooke, but there’s nothing that says she can’t contact her. I’m a legal adult now, so she knows any contact with me would go unanswered. I just hope, for Brooke’s sake, she stays away from her. My mom might have turned her life around, but I will never forgive her for what she did to us.

Carol has stepped in as a mom for Brooke, and I know they’ve gotten even closer since Casey and Charlie left home. I want Brooke to have a strong female in her life. I want her to learn how to be open to that kind of love and maybe not be so closed off to talking about her feelings, like I am.

When we got home from Pennsylvania, some of Charlie’s things were gone. Did it hurt? One thousand percent yes. Did I blame her for going? Not one bit. I’d told her I wanted space, but I only meant that night. And, well, maybe a few days after, but I never wanted her to leave.

Casey and I talked about everything, and he encouraged me to let Archie and Pitz know what had happened to me and why Charlie was staying with Arbor.

Of course, when we sat down to talk about it, the first question Archie asked me was, “What the fuck did you do to mess it up this time?” He’s never been one to beat around the bush.

I’ve texted Charlie every day and asked her to come over, but she tells me she wants me to focus on the upcoming game. While I appreciate that, I also need my girl. I don’t like waking up in my bed without her.

I know I probably didn’t handle the whole situation in the best way, but it’s not every day you see your mom, who you thought was in prison, at your playoffs game.

I’ve been sitting in my room for the last thirty minutes, thinking about everything but the paper I should be writing about the different rock elements of Missouri. We’re not even in Missouri. And also, why the fuck did I have to take Geography as an engineering major?

There’s a knock on my door, and I holler over my shoulder, “Come in,” not bothering to see who it is.

I know it’s not Charlie or Casey because neither of them would knock. So, that leaves Liam or Arch.

“Hey, brother.” It’s Liam.

“What up?” I spin in my chair and face him.

He’s looking down and rubbing the back of his neck, and he looks like he might be sick.

“You okay, man? What’s going on?”

Pitz is usually a pretty happy guy. But I know this playoffs run hasn’t been easy with Callaway basically taking over his spot.

“Yeah—I mean, no, but I hope it will be.” He laughs a little and lets go of his neck. “I wanted to tell you guys first before the whole team finds out. I’ve decided to enter the transfer portal after the championship game. I have one year left of eligibility, and in order for me to get a decent call in the draft, I need to get more field time. Callaway’s arm is a missile, and after this playoffs run, I know he’ll be starting next year. I can’t sit on the sidelines, man. My talents might be different from Bo’s, but I’m a good fucking quarterback.” He looks up at me for the first time since entering my room and has a smirk on his face.

“Dude, you are one of the best out there. As your friend and roomie, I hate to see you go. As your teammate, I totally get it. I would probably do the same if I were in your shoes.”

I get up from the chair and walk over to him. We grab hands to shake, but I pull him into a hug. He pulls back, and I go sit on the edge of my bed.

“Thanks, Beck. It wasn’t an easy decision to make. I’ve been here my whole college career. Walker was always my first choice, and I was hoping to end it with a ring here, but I might just have to get it somewhere else.” He laughs and points at me.

I laugh, too, but it’s never easy to see a friend like Pitz go. I meant what I said; he is a great quarterback and one of the best in college football. I have no doubt he’ll find the right team.

“Okay, so now that that’s out of the way, we have pizza. Come eat with us. You’ve been locked up in the room since Charlie left. Snap out of it, man. It’s cheat day, fucker. Let’s eat some greasy goodness.” He waves his arm for me to follow and steps out of my room.

When I get to the kitchen, it’s just the four of us. Archie’s head is down as he chomps on two piled slices. Casey and Liam are talking about some girl Pitz hooked up with last night. Which, of course, makes me miss Charlie even more.

When I sit down, Archie looks up at me and nods. “Sup, Linson? You done crying in your room?” he teases.

“Fuck you. I wasn’t crying. I was working on a paper and trying to manage my fucking schedule with our practices. It’s killing me, man. I’m exhausted.”

I pull three pieces of pizza from the box. When I realize I just pulled three, it makes me think of Charlie. And how I want her to come back.

“Heard. There’s a shit ton going on right now, but we’re so close, baby. We work hard; we play harder. We own those Southeast fuckers,” Archie says.

He shoves the last huge bite of pizza in his mouth. I’m surprised the dude doesn’t choke.

“Yeah, speaking of a lot going on, where have you been lately, Arch? We know your class schedule, so where do you go when you aren’t here, at class, or at practice?” Casey asks.

“In due time, my friends. In due time,” Archie says while nodding.