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“You must have really loved her,” Aubrey spoke.
“I did. I couldn’t imagine my life without her. I found out about three months after we were dating that she was using drugs. She told me she only did it occasionally and promised to stop because she knew how I felt about it. Her occasional drug habit eventually turned into a daily one. About a year and a half into our relationship, I finally talked her into getting some help. She checked herself into a rehab facility and got clean.”
“What kinds of drugs did she do?”
“Cocaine. She stayed clean for about six months, and those six months were really good for us. Then, her sister was killed in a car accident, and she couldn’t cope. So, she started using cocaine again along with amphetamines.”
“I’m sorry, Ethan, but I have to ask. Why did you stay with her?”
“Because I loved her and couldn’t turn my back on her. She was so screwed up, and all she kept telling me was that I was the only stability she had in her life. So I dealt with it the best I could and tried to get her to get clean again. The night she died, we were in California at a friend’s birthday party at his beach house. She had been acting weird all day, and I kept asking her what was wrong, and she insisted nothing. But I could tell something was bothering her. Later that night, I left with Charles and another friend of mine to run to the store to get some more liquor, and when I came back, I couldn’t find her. When I went upstairs for the third time, she was just coming out of the bathroom. I asked her why she didn’t respond to my calling her name, and she said she didn’t hear me. She was as high as a kite at that point. I walked into the bathroom and found two syringes on the floor. She had just shot herself up with heroin.” I swallowed hard. “I’ll never forget how I felt at that moment.I was enraged. Anger consumed me so badly that I couldn’t see straight. I grabbed the syringes off the floor and flew down the stairs, grabbing her arm and leading her outside away from the party. I asked her when she started shooting up heroin, and she told me she’d been doing it for a while. How I didn’t know was beyond me.”
“Because you loved her, and you didn’t want to see it. You know how they say love is blind,” she spoke.
I stared at Aubrey when she said that, and she was right. I had noticed over the past couple of months leading up to her death that she was acting different and changing before my eyes every day.
“I started yelling at her, and then I gave her an ultimatum. I told her that it was either the drugs or me and that I’d had enough. I couldn’t live like that anymore. She told me that as much as she loved me, she couldn’t give up the drugs. So I told her we were over, and as I walked away, she ran after me and grabbed my arm, begging me not to go. I turned to her, took hold of her arms, and begged her to stop the drugs. I told her that I would check her into rehab the next morning, and if she wouldn’t go, I would walk away. She looked me straight in the eye, and after a few moments of silence, she agreed to go. I held her tight and told her how much I loved her. She asked me if I could go into the house and get her some aspirin and a glass of water. When I came back out, I couldn’t find her anywhere. I screamed her name over and over again. It was so dark out except for the lights from the boats in the water out in the distance. Fear overcame me, and I started to panic as I ran down to the beach and found a trail of her clothes leading to the water. I yelled her name over and over again as I kicked off my shoes, tore off my shirt, and ran into the water. Charles and a couple of other guys heard me screaming for her, and they came running down, asking me what was going on. I couldn’t find her, and justlike that, she was gone. Charles called 911, and the police were out within a few minutes. The search went on for a few days, and they eventually found her body.
Aubrey scooted closer to where I was sitting and placed her hands firmly on my shoulders.
“I’m so sorry, Ethan. I can’t even imagine.”
“She died because of me. Because of the ultimatum I gave her. Had I never told her that I would leave, she wouldn’t have gone into the ocean and killed herself.”
“You don’t know that. She was messed up from the drugs. What happened to her was not your fault. You have to believe that.”
“That’s what everyone who knows what happened told me. But in the end, my words led her to the water.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Aubrey
I reached over and wrapped my arms around him. My heart felt so much sadness as he told his story that it took everything I had not to break down. I now saw him in a different light. He blamed himself for Sophia’s death and had been carrying that around with him all these years. I understood all too well about guilt and having the burden of it take over your life. I broke our embrace and placed my hands on each side of his face.
“Thank you for telling me. I know how hard that was for you.”
“I wanted you to know why I am the way I am.” He removed my hands and held them in his. “After her death, I buried myself into my work, started Klein Technology, and devoted my life to it. I live, eat, and breathe that company. I don’t make time for anyone or anything else. I like you, Aubrey. I really do, and I don’t want to hurt you anymore. You don’t deserve it. All I want is to make love to you more than anything else in the world, but I can’t commit to anything, and I know you want more.”
Even after confessing to me about Sophia, he was still frightened. I wanted to take away his pain, but would I be happy just being a casual fling? Would it be selfish of me to keep havingsex with him with the hopes that he’d change his mind down the road? Or would I be setting myself up for an even worse heartbreak? I wasn’t that type of person. Or was I? I didn’t know because I had never been in a situation like this before. All I knew was, at that moment, I wanted him, and he wanted me. He could have gone and had sex with any woman he wanted, but he was here, with me.
Letting go of his hands, I gripped the bottom of my shirt and pulled it over my head. Reaching back, I unhooked my bra and slid it off, tossing it onto the floor. The sharp intake of his breath heightened my excitement as I took his hands and placed them firmly on my breasts.
“Are you sure, Aubrey?” he asked with a whisper.
“Yes.”
While one hand firmly gripped my breast, he placed his other hand on my cheek. I could feel the warmth of his breath sweep across my face. Instead of our lips meeting for the first time, his tongue trailed along my neck. It felt so good to be touched by him again. He leaned me back on the couch so I was lying down, and while his mouth made its way to my breasts, his hand slid down my torso and unbuttoned my pants. He sat up and pulled them off, and his fingers traced the outline of my lips through the silk fabric of my panties. Before I knew it, his head was buried between my legs, and my panties were off in a split second. His mouth wasted no time devouring me as I arched my back, forcing him to go deeper. Subtle moans rumbled in his throat as he explored my opening, flicking his tongue in and out and making small circles around my clit. The pleasure built inside me. He took his fingers and tugged at my hardened nipples as his mouth sent my body into an explosive orgasm. I let out a low moan as my breath escaped me, and my heart raced faster than the speed of light.
He didn’t speak a word as he sat up and pulled me on top, my knees straddling him. Slowly lowering myself onto his hard cock, I gasped, as did he, while I took his entire length inside me.
“God, you feel so good,” he whispered in my ear.
His hands stayed firmly on my hips as I slowly moved up and down, taking in the moment that I didn’t want to end. As much as I was enjoying this, I wanted him to kiss me. I needed to feel his lips on mine, but I wouldn’t force it or him. He had his reasons for why he never kissed me. Another orgasm was on its way as I tightened my grip on his shoulders, and he tightened his grip on my hips.
“Come for me, baby. I need to feel you come all over my cock,” he panted as he thrust his hips and deepened inside me.
Letting out the sound of ecstasy, my body gave in as the rush of warmth over his cock elated him.
“That’s it. Oh God. Yes.” He strained as he held my hips in place and exploded inside me.