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I took her to Santa Monica for the day. We visited the pier, Pacific Park, grabbed some tacos from a taco truck, and walked along the beach. Then we went to downtown Santa Monica and did some shopping. I was totally in the present with her. My phone was off, and I didn’t care what was happening back in New York. The only thing that mattered was giving her my undivided attention. I was the perfect gentleman. I didn’t try to hold her hand or put my arm around her, even though it was killing me not to. When it was time for dinner, I took her to 1 Pico located inside Shutters on The Beach, where we enjoyed scallops and a bottle of fine wine. The day was more than I hoped it would be, and she seemed comfortable and happy.
When we arrived back at the house, she collapsed on the couch and put her feet up.
“You didn’t pull your phone out once today,” she spoke.
“That’s because I have it turned off.”
“What if someone needs you or there’s a problem at the office?”
“They can wait until I get back. Plus, my father is there now. He can handle things.”
“Does he know you’re here?”
“Yes. I told him I was checking out an investment deal I got a lead on.”
“Nice.” She smiled. “Looks like we both lied to our parents.”
I let out a chuckle. “Mine wasn’t really a lie,” I signed.
“It wasn’t?”
“No.” I took a few strands of her hair between my fingers. “As far as I’m concerned, this trip is a huge investment. An investment in my personal life.”
Our eyes stayed locked on each other, and I wanted to kiss her lips so badly. To taste the sweetness that I’d missed and craved. We were in that moment of desperation. I could tell she was thinking the same thing by the look in her eyes. Slowly, I leaned in, as did she. Our lips were mere inches from each other when she placed her hand on my chest and turned away.
“I’m sorry,” she said.
“Don’t be. I understand. I’m the one who’s sorry. I shouldn’t have?—”
“It’s okay,” she said as she got up from the couch. “I’m going to take a bath, and maybe after, we can sit outside for a while?”
“I’d like that,” I signed as I gave her a smile.
“Okay. I’ll be down soon.”
Ellie
As bad as I wanted his lips on mine, I was afraid. Every bit of anger towards him was dissipating, and all the wonderful feelings I felt for him were rising inside behind all the anger. If I’d kissed him, there would be no turning back. That kiss wouldseal the deal for me, and it was too soon. We’d only spent a day and a half together, and it wasn’t enough time to undo the damage he’d done to my heart.
After I got out of the bath and changed into a maxi dress, I went downstairs and saw him sitting in one of the loungers by the pool with a drink in his hand. After pouring myself a glass of wine, I took it outside and sat on the lounger beside him.
“Did you enjoy your bath?” he signed.
“I did. I love that tub so much.” I smiled.
“I knew you would.”
“Can I talk to you about something?” I asked.
“Of course, Ellie. You can talk to me about anything.”
“You asked me yesterday if I can’t or won’t trust you. The truth is, for me, trust is very hard in the hearing community. I’ve dated a lot of guys in my life. All hearing guys. Some thought it would be fun to date a deaf chick until they got bored and decided they couldn’t be bothered anymore. I’d never met or dated a hearing guy who could sign. Some would try to learn and give up within a couple of days. Others just flat-out refused and told me if I got sick of reading their lips, then I was free to move on.
After my world and my life went silent, my parents kept me in a public school for a while because they wanted normalcy for me. However, the school had to accommodate me because I was the only deaf child in the elementary class. They did bring in an interpreter, but it was hard on me. I didn’t fit in anymore, and some of the kids made fun of me. So, the school suggested they send me to the Lexington School for the Deaf. The minute I walked in there, I felt like I was home. Every student was either completely deaf or very hard of hearing. That was when I became part of the deaf community. I learned. I thrived, and even though my parents had a hard time with it at first, theyknew they’d made the right decision. They had no choice but to accept it was my new ‘normal’ life.”
“Ellie—”
I placed my hand on his arm. “Let me finish. I’ve faced many difficulties by being deaf. I must rely on people to talk slowly so I can read their lips, I have to rely on touch to get my attention, and I can’t go to a movie unless there are captions. Guys would approach me and try to talk to me. If I could read their lips, I would listen. If I couldn’t for some reason, I would tell them I was deaf by using sign language, and they would just walk away out of fear. People often stare a lot, which I’m used to. Then there’s the issue with the dark. Like when we’d go to bed together. We can’t just lay there and talk because I can’t see what you’re saying.”