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“You didn’t buy this dress for me to stay in.” Using the pad of her thumb, she wipes her shiny lipstick off my lips.
“I bought you this dress so I could take it off later.” It’s not a lie. “Admit that you want that too.”
“I do.” She nibbles on her bottom lip, teasing me.
I like how relaxed she is tonight, and I love how she’s giving me little glimpses of her life, and more of her dazzling personality. Something she doesn’t do often.
I understand why. I see it a lot in people who’ve been hurt in their past. Trust is a huge part of letting walls down, and I hope she’s beginning to trust me, so I can finally start chipping away at the stone wall she’s built around herself to let me in.
I think she will, because she’s different tonight.
“Can I ask you something, Nathan?” Smiling up at me, in that dress and looking at me the way she is, she lights up the whole room.
I nod, scared what it might be. We’ve been playing a game of push-pull with each other and whatever I reply, I hope I don’t make her flee again.
Clearing her throat, she asks, “Did you really mean what you said about burning the world down and”—she blinks once, then twice—“that you’d thought about settling down?”
“Meant every word.” I cradle her face in my hand and brush my thumb across her cheek.
“Did you mean… with me?” She gulps.
“I don’t know. If I’m being honest, I don’t know what I’m doing or saying anymore.” It’s the only answer that makes sense to me right now, because if I go all in, I might scare her away. Maybe spending more time together will help both of us to figure thisthingout. “This is new for me,” I admit. Another first for me; I’m always prepared, but nothing could have readied me for Arianna arriving in my life like a fucking full-force hurricane, toppling me over.
“I don’t know what I’m doing either,” she confesses, looking at me with a worried expression. “You make me nervous.”
“I think it’s the other way around, baby.” I place her hand over my heart to let her feel how fast it’s beating.
“You do something to me too,” she finally admits, repeating my sentiment from the other night.
I knew it. “Maybe we should embrace whatever is happening between us, then. No more pushing it or each other away and no more running. Sound good?” My face turns serious.
She agrees with a quick nod of her head, settling my nerves and filling my body full of hope.
“Got it?” I ask again, needing clarification and for her to say the words.
“Yes.” Her bright eyes sparkle up at me before she lets go of my hand. “You look hotter than the devil himself in this tuxedo.” Approving of my outfit, she straightens my bow tie, and I lift mychin to allow her to fix it as if we’ve done this a million times before.
I drop my voice and pull her into my arms again because it’s where I like her being, then ask, “Does it bother you how hard I work?”
“No.” She shrugs.
I slide my hand up the exposed skin of her back, desperate to take the fucking dress off so I can appreciate her beautiful curves once more, but know I can’t as we have a ball to attend.
She’s got pretty shoes she wants to show off as well as the dress she spent hours picking out, and who am I to be the one to stop her?
“Ready to have somefuntogether?” I ask, while my gut ties itself in knots of dishonesty. I want more. I just can’t fucking bring myself to say it again from fear of being rejected.
“Soundsfun,” she agrees, smiling, and I know she can see straight through me.
28
ARI
Nathan places his hand on the base of my spine as he ushers me into the ballroom. It’s such a bold gesture in front of the most influential people in the city but I’m here for it. All of it.
Whatever is happening between us, it’s like a runaway train, and I’m on it not knowing where we’re headed.
Am I going to jump off? I guess I will have to eventually, but not now I’ve given in to this pull towards him. I can’t stay away.