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“And I lost my case yesterday.” My chest feels compressed, like it’s being squeezed in a vice grip. “Well, I didn’t lose it, I just couldn’t make the pharmaceutical company increase their payout.” I feel terrible for Sabrina. I promised I would get her more.
Without Arianna in my life, I can’t think straight. My apartment still smells like her. The office. My bedroom. My limo. The ranch. Everywhere I go. It all reminds me of her.
Food has lost its flavor, not that I can eat, and while I’m starving, I feel sick to my stomach.
“Mom says I’m lovesick.” I keep my voice quiet so as not to wake him. “She thinks I have a broken heart.”
I do, and I don’t want to feel like this anymore.
“I don’t hate her.” Can’t. “I love her, Dad.” I even boxed up her belongings and moved her out. Why the fuck didn’t I listen to her? I should have listened.
“I don’t know what to do anymore.” I’m torn between my family and her.
I love both.
“Tell me everything, son.” Dad’s croaky voice cuts through my muddled thoughts, making my eyes snap open. His lips lift at the sides. “I can still help.”
I lean forward and rest my hand on top of his, then tell him everything.
“Go to her, Nathaniel.” His answer surprises me.
“Even after what she did?”
“Intended to do,” he corrects me, his words long and drawn out. “She didn’t do it. She knew. She figured Julie out. Now she knows the truth.” My father’s mind is still sharp sometimes and I know he’s in there somewhere, not often these days, but he’s still here and I hate what the diseases are doing to him. I want more good days for him. “If you had doubt”—slowly, he speaks—“you would have done the same for your family.”
“Mom said the same. Eli, Cole, and Max are barely speaking to me because I looked into the case, Dad. I doubted you. Arianna’s doubts became mine.” I cough to clear the emotion building in my chest. “They won’t forgive me. I will never forgive myself.”
“I forgive you.” His three little words come out strong. “They will forgive you over time. They are good boys. Call your brothers. Make it right with them.” His eyes turn watery. “Forgiveness will heal. And we learn from our mistakes, Nathaniel. She will too.”
“Mom said forgiveness is a choice.”
“Your mother is a smart woman.”
“She is.” I smile and give his hand a squeeze.
If only their love story could have ended differently.
“Choice is not always easy, but it can be powerful. Go to her. Fix it.” His eyes droop closed as if he’s drifting off again.
“I love you, Dad.”
“Love you, son.”
48
NATHAN
Max
I have something to show you.
I have no idea what it could be, but it’s the first time in weeks my brothers have written in our group chat, which dried up the day Arianna left the office.
Me
Okay.
Max