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But I want to say yes. So much.
Temptation is messing with my judgment. And karma is playing a cruel game, laughing at me with its wicked sense of humor, and pulling strings I can’t control.
I find every thought I have of wanting him completely senseless, even when a small part of me believes that there is sense to us. But what is it?
Being surrounded by everything Nathan and him helicoptering around me all day every day in the office is both intoxicating and tormenting.
My mind tells me to ignore this thing between us, forget him, and move on—which I’ve been trying to do for weeks, but my heart isn’t getting the memo.
There’s a thin line between doing what’s right and what I can’t help but want.
In the same way he’s caged me against the shelves, I’m trapped.
Every thought of him, every kiss and exchange feels like betrayal. My family would hate the person I have become, and yet I can’t stop.
It’s like the universe is playing some cosmic joke, dangling him just out of reach and watching me wrestle with the impossible ache of wanting what I can never truly have.
Or maybe the universe is trying to show me what I can’t see.
It’s so confusing.
“I have to go,” I say. I need to put an end to this.
“I don’t want you to go,” he declares.
For reasons I don’t understand, neither do I, but I must. “Nathaniel.” I address him by his full name to get his attention, and he stops doing that crazy thing with his tongue behind my ear that pushes my senses into overdrive, breathing new life into them.
Eyes closed, he rests his forehead against mine, his chest heaving frantically. “You do something to me.” His determined eyes snap open and connect with mine. “And there isn’t a damn thing you could say to keep me away from you. You make me want to burn down the world for you, protect you, and never let you go. I’ve never seen myself settling down before, but with you…” He stops himself from continuing. “Fuck…”
Holy shit, does he mean that?
His nostrils flare as if angry with himself that he feels this way about me, and I can’t help but think that it must annoy him that I came into his life and changed things for him.
Everyone in the office knows he doesn’t date.
As if time stops, my heart slows and I inhale a slow breath when the contrast and power behind his words don’t match the soft kiss he places on my lips. The butterflies that are fluttering in my lower belly take on a life of their own, making my stomach feel like it’s doing cartwheels.
“I’ll think about your invitation to the ball.” I finally manage to form words.
He grins as if I just threw him a lifeline. “Thank you, and take your time. It’s not a date, Arianna, you’d be coming as my secretary.” It feels like he just poured ice down my spine, because for a fleeting minute there I thought he was asking me to go as his date.
I slide sideways out of his hold. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Before I’ve even taken a full step, his firm hand wraps around my wrist, holding me hostage, and I can’t look back because I’llcave if I do and say yes to him, but I want to make him sweat a little longer.
I leave on parting words. “I promise, I’ll think about your invitation.”
Why am I even entertaining this?
He releases me and when he replies I barely hear it. “Please say yes.”
I stay quiet and walk across the scattered paperwork.
This must be what it feels like to be caught between heaven and hell.
I’m stuck between truth and lies.
“Come out for dinner with me tonight?” His words stop me in my tracks, and I turn to face him.