Page 79 of All of You

I nod. She sits up and I miss the body heat she gave off. The feel of her pressed against me. She puts the pipe in my hand and explains what to do. I wrap my lips around the pipe and she lights the other end. Hesitantly I inhale until it just starts to irritate my throat. I hold it and then blow it out slowly. I cough.

I cough like a motherfucker. She pats my back and doesn’tmake fun of me.

“You ok?” she asks.

I nod. “Yeah. Fine.”

“Good. Now lie back and look up. It takes a couple minutes before you feel anything. If you do. Some people don’t. Did you know that?”

I chuckle. “Nope. Didn’t know that.”

Delia pulls the hood of my sweatshirt up and lays back. Her eyes are wide as she stares at millions of stars twinkling in the clear sky. I lay back next to her. It’s not quite cold enough to see your breath yet but it’s close. She snuggles closer to me. I want to kiss her. Who cares about the stars when there’s a gorgeous girl pressed against you? We don’t talk. We just watch the night sky quietly and then… my mouth gets dry… like I’m not making enough saliva and I feel lighter.

“My mouth’s dry.”

“You’re high,” she says with a little laugh.

“I think I just need some water.”

She props up on one elbow and hovers her face right over mine, inspecting my face, and then bursts out laughing.

“What?”

“You’re high. Dry mouth, huge pupils. How do you feel?” she asks, smiling.

“I mean, lighter. I feel lighter. And, my mouth is dry and the air inside my lungs is cooler than the air outside my lungs.”

Delia presses her lips tightly together, suppressing a grin and stifling laughter.

“Am I okay?” I ask, genuinely concerned now. There’s alump in my throat that feels like hot blood.

She nods emphatically. “Just relax. Don’t start overthinking everything.”

Don’t think. Yeah right.I nod at her seriously.

“Relax, Langdon. I mean it. Let everything go.”

She lays back down, snuggles into my side and twines her fingers through mine. And I do. Maybe for the first time since Olivia died, I let everything go. I watch the stars, listen to the sound of Delia’s steady breaths, see two shooting stars and then she’s nudging me.

“Hey,” she says and shakes me. My eyelids are heavy. So heavy. “It’s late, you should go. You gotta wake up.”

I groan. “Shhh sleep, baby.” My arm snakes out and I pull her to my chest. A gasp registers in my ears.

“Um, Langdon…”

“Huh?” I say while working hard to get my eyes open. Delia’s face is over mine, smiling.

She leans down slowly, closing the gap between our lips and then her mouth softly meets mine. She feels like silk or satin or some super soft fabric—like a blankey I had as a kid. And I’m kissing her back, eyes open. When she takes a breath I pull back. Shit, was I asleep?

I sit up. Rub my face with my palms. Delia snorts. “You fell asleep. I tried to wake you up. But you um, you were really out.”

“What time is it?” I ask.Oh shit, did I call her baby?

“Eleven thirty. You should really go.”

“Were we talking?” I ask.

Her lips curve upward and she shakes her head. “Nope. You didn’t say a thing.”