Page 37 of All of You

Gramps announces it’s time for dessert but I’m pinned to my chair. Langdon gets up to clear plates and when he gets to me, his eyes seem to be glowing to the beat of my hammering pulse as his hand slides up my arm discreetly.

“Can I take that for you?”

If I had my virginity to give, I’d immediately say yes. But he means my plate. My forking dinner plate.

I nod, biting my bottom lip. It’s a bad habit I do when I’m nervous. Langdon gives me a dimpled smirk. Can he hear my thoughts when it’s quiet like this between us? His fingers graze from my wrist, down my fingers until he’s clutching my plate in his hand. His knuckles are white with his grip.

I needed air; all the cool, late summer air I could get and so I’m on the porch, rocking in Gramps chair. Langdon doesn’t come to join me. No one does. I can hear the murmurs of Mom and Anna from the open windows.How tough it must be to start a new school. Probably just nerves. She’ll fit right in.

Except it’s none of those things. I couldn’t care less about starting school tomorrow. I’ve done it a hundred times. Of course, Mom doesn’t tell Anna any of that. All Mom knows is that I came home high just after midnight.

Lyra and Miles were trying to be quiet but in reality, were loud as shit with their giggles. Mom was still at the fire, sitting alone, staring at the three of us as they walked me from the car.

“You live in a camper?” Miles had asked.

“Yeah.”

They’d broken out into another fit of giggles.

Mom stood up. Looked us over and asked if there was any left. Lyra had blanched but Miles, he’d yanked the last of the joint from his pocket and offered it to her.

“Good kid. Sharing is caring,” she’d said and I had literally in that moment died of embarrassment.

“You’re mom’s rad,” Miles had whispered.

“Where’s Langdon?” Mom had asked as she blew out smoke. Without coughing. She was a pro.

Miles and Lyra looked to me. I shrugged. “Probably still at the party.”

“Why didn’t he give you a ride home when you wanted togo?” she pushed.

“Mom,” I said.

She waved her hand around and said, “Fine, fine, I remember being a teenager.”

She took one more long drag on the joint, stubbed it out, and handed what was left back to Miles.

“Go home. Sleep. Hope to see you again.”

Miles made a high-pitched squeal. “Your mom is dope, Delia. D.O.P.E.”

“My mom is…” I glanced at her. “Something. Thanks for tonight and the ride,” I said. Miles and Lyra giggled their way back to the car and left.

The fire was down to coals, red burning coals with the occasional tiny flame finding its footing before dying out.

“You okay?” Mom asked. I nodded. “You’re friends seem nice.”

“They are.”

Mom sucked in a big breath followed by a deep exhale and stood up. “I’m going to bed. Glad you had a good time.”

She squeezed my shoulder on her way by. I stayed by the fire another half hour lost in daydreams of Langdon’s lips searing my skin. Of his mouth between my legs. Of the most intense, hottest sexual experience to date for me. Which was weirdly also the least sexual in terms of you know, hitting any bases, as they say.

The screen door slaps and I snap my eyes to it. Langdon, his brother, and parents are filing out the door and down thesteps.

“Yo! D!” Anderson yells and hurtles himself toward me.

“What’s up, lil man?” I ask.