Page 66 of All of You

“Do you know where my mom is?”

She sucks in a big breath and shakes her head. “She said she needed some time.”

“For what? Why would she tell you that at all?” I ask.

“I think she was in shock about Daniel,” she says.

“Who’s Daniel?” I ask. My lip quivers and there’s a giant lump in my throat.

Anna stares at me as if I have three heads. “I… well… ”

“Is he my father?” I blurt out.

Anna stares at me, shocked before nodding. “I thought you knew.”

I shake my head at her. “No. She never talked about him. There were no pictures. Up until the afternoon we pulled into Gramps driveway, I didn’t know I had any family besides her. It’s always just been me and Mom.” A tear slides down my cheek. “Is he still here? In town?”

“Fuck, Jennifer,” Anna huffs while pinching the bridge of her nose. “Excuse me, Delia. I shouldn’t curse in front of you. This is just a lot to digest.”

“You’re telling me.”

“Honey,” she says and scoots closer to me on the couch. She rests a hand on my thigh. “If I had known this, I would have talked to you, reached out more, done more when she left. I’m so sorry.”

I swallow the lump in my throat. “Thanks. But it’s not your job really. It’s hers. I miss her. And I don’t know why she hid so much from me but if my Dad is here, I’d really like the chance to meet him. I mean…if he wants to. So, is that why she came? Cause he’s still here?” I push.

Anna’s eyes well with tears. “Oh kiddo, I’m so sorry. Daniel passed away three years ago.”

I feel completely numb. Outside myself.

“That’s what you told her, isn’t it? That’s why she left.”

Anna’s head sags to the left. “If I had to guess. Yes. That’s why she left, to grieve. She loved him, Delia, so much, and he loved her too.”

Tears streak down my cheeks. “Sure. Yeah.”

She takes me by the shoulders and looks me square in the eyes. “Your father was a hero.” Her voice cracks on the last word.

“What happened?”

Anna straightens herself and tucks her hair behind her ears. She’s only a couple of years older than my mom. She must have been in her first two years of college when she got knocked up—yet here she is, still married and happy.

Life sucks. She clears her throat, agony flashes in her eyes.

“We were at one of Langdon’s diving meets…”

“I didn’t know he was on the diving team.”

Anna nods. “He’s quite good too. It was an away meet but just the next town over. Me, James, Anderson, and Olivia.” A chill twists through me.Olivia?“We left the meet after Langdon dove. It was icy and snowy and dark. The roads were terrible. We were crossing the bridge back into town and Daniel was walking across it. He lived on the other side. James swerved to avoid him, and lost control of the car.”

She stops to catch her breath and suddenly I feel ill. Bile rises in my throat. “We went over. Right off the bridge and into the river.” Anna wipes a tear from her cheek. “Daniel didn’t even hesitate. The water was freezing. He dove in and pulled me first, then James and Anderson from the car. He tried to go back for Olivia. Neither of them came up. Your dad died trying to save my little girl.”

I lunge for the trash can next to the couch and lose the contents of my stomach. Anna rubs my back—small gentle circles. Inwardly, I cringe knowing someone is going to have to clean the trashcan and honestly, it should be me, but I know Anna won’t entertain the idea. When I’ve composed myself enough, Anna scoots to the kitchen to get us each a glass of water.

“I’m so sorry. How old was Olivia?” I ask after a few sips of water.

“She was eleven. Langdon was fourteen at the time, and Anderson was nine.” A quick sob escapes her.

I set my glass on the coffee table. I’m not an overly affectionateperson but I can’t stop myself. I lean (more like lunge) into her arms and squeeze her tightly. Both of us weep openly.