Page 49 of All of You

Langdon pokes his head in from the greenhouse and beams at me. It makes my stomach flip-flop. “Hey. You made it.”

I smirk at him. “From what Viv says, just in the nick of time too.”

Langdon glares at me before swinging his gaze to Viv. “Really?”

“Oh, you two. So competitive. You each have different… strengths.” Vivianna laughs as Langdon rolls his eyes and ducks back into the greenhouse.

“Viv. Can we talk quick?” I ask.

Vivianna cocks her head at me, squints her eyes and motions to close the office door behind me.

“Everything ok?” she asks. My heart aches. My stomach lurches. My throat closes over a lump. The little rotten seed of anxiety that my mom will never return takes root. Theroot needs to be pulled from its spot and removed.

“I wasn’t sick. My mom left and I kinda lost it. I mean I’m still losing it, but…” my voice falters as my eyes well and I stop talking.

“What do you mean left?” she asks.

I shrug. “I mean, I went to school Monday, and she blew me a kiss and when I got home she was gone. The van. All our stuff. Gone. She’s not answering her phone. She just… left.”

Vivianna hands me a tissue, which I’m grateful for.

“Thanks.”

“Oh honey, I’m so sorry. Come here.” She opens her arms and surprisingly, I allow myself to fall into them. She hugs me tightly and lets me cry for a moment. “Listen, today the shop needs a good scrub. Cleaning always distracts me from life’s problems. Why don’t you do that for a while? Put on the radio behind the register and just scrub away.”

I nod. “Thanks Viv.”

***

“If you scrub any harder, that countertop is going to come clean off.”

I jump, startled, and look at Vivianna. “Sorry.”

She leans against the wall and crosses her arms. “No need to apologize, just don’t tunnel through my countertop.”

I lean my hip on the counter and sigh. “Viv. Do you know about Heath and my mom?”

“I know she left once before, yes.” She nods.

“And you know that I basically just met him right? Heath,I mean. He knew I existed. Mom told me we had no family. I had no idea about him until we showed up here.”

Vivianna looks shocked. “Okay.”

“It’s… I mean, I’m struggling.” My voice cracks but I pull it together. “My mom is all I know. She was myonlyfamily until a couple weeks ago. But Gramps, he’s treating me weird. Not mean, just, he doesn’t really talk to me when we’re in the house together and it’s awkward.”

What I don’t say is that most of the lights inside me feel like they have been turned off. Most of the rooms where I used to take up space, to enjoy and laugh and exist have closed up. I’ve become an abandoned dwelling with only its porch light on.

Vivianna sidles up to me and places a hand on my shoulder. “You said you’re struggling right?” I nod. “Well, have you considered that he knows exactly how you feel? That he’s probably feeling the same thing you are? And to boot, he’s already gone through this once before.”

Tears trickle down my face as I shake my head. “I didn’t consider that.”

Vivianna laughs quietly and pulls me into her side. “You’re a teenager. It’s not often anything besides yourselfisconsidered. Par for the course at your age.” She pats my arm. “Don’t beat yourself up about it, but give the man a little break,” she says, holding an inch of vacant space between her thumb and index finger. “You both lost her and you’re both virtual strangers to each other. It will get easier.”

“Did you know her? My mom? I mean, before?”

Vivianna shakes her head. “Sorry kiddo. Nope. I didn’t move here until four years ago. Didn’t even know Heath andMaevehada daughter until Olivia’s accident.”

I sniffle. “Who’s Olivia?”