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“Death as you think of it isn’t an actual option for anyone. Every being renews. Your soul has lived many human lives and died just as often. Humans never remember this about themselves. Even paranormal humans like you don’t remember their former lives very often. My brethren and I are not sure why that is the case on Earth, but my original planet worked similarly. Those humans who do recall previous incarnations rarely handle it well.”

Knowing who I’d been in a previous life intrigued me, but I could die happy without knowing more than I did now. I accepted death would be a transition to whatever was next for me. I didn’t see it as an end. But having nearly died twice lately, all I could recall was the pain. I wanted to avoid the pain and live this life for a wee bit longer, Goddess willing.

“If I do enough damage to demons, they don’t remember their previous lives when they return. But I recall ya saying guardians always remembered, no matter what happened to them.”

“Yes, my people remember all lifetimes, all situations, and all we have done. It is how we were made. Our minds expand infinitely. It is the light being part of us. Light beings blend into the energy of the universe. The effort of staying separate from it takes far more energy. Holding a human form takes the most energy of all, but guardians enjoy its pleasurable benefits. I amno exception. I have waited centuries to spend this time with you.”

We walked in silence the rest of the way. I didn’t know what to say to his comments about light beings, so I did what I usually did when I got into conversations over my head.

I made light of it all.

“Well, come on, Mr. Light Being. I need ya to distract me from my worries. Show me how perfect yer current physical form is. I might need to inspect every detail to validate yer findings.”

A chuckling Rasmus followed me to our quarters with a smile on his face. I was not coy with him. He seemed to enjoy that about me. When aroused, the man could have me naked in under twenty seconds.

I found his desire for me very validating. I felt very lucky that it matched my desire for him.

Tomorrow, I would remember the many problems I had yet to solve. Tonight, I would let the guardian remind me of one of my greatest blessings.

Chapter Sixteen

Ileft Rasmus sleeping and stumbled my way to the dining room. Hart and Jessing were already there enjoying breakfast. I murmured a morning greeting and poured coffee without spilling it on my hands.

The day was off to a good start so far.

“Give me five minutes of silent coffee time and then we can talk,” I said to them, sitting as far away from the happy, perky morning diners as I could.

The enforcers chuckled at my grogginess before returning to their meal. Gale had laid out a breakfast buffet on a beautiful white oak sideboard that had mysteriously appeared overnight. This morning, someone had loaded it with food.

I never knew how Henry and Gale could put so much effort into caring for the weird strangers I regularly brought into the house. But this morning, I felt so grateful that it nearly made me cry.

Rasmus kept both of us awake until the wee hours. I’d slept well for a solid three after he got tired, but I’d need a nap later to make it through the whole day.

I couldn’t afford to sleep, though. There was too much to do.

Hart and Jessing looked at each other across the table. Finally, Hart turned to me. “Do you realize that you broadcast your thoughts?”

I finished my first cup of rejuvenation and rose to get a refill. Henry had brought out the urn this morning and I could tell it was full.

When I came back to the table, I looked at Hart and nodded. “Yes. I hired a dragon mage to help me learn to not do it. He said it would be nearly impossible because I had too much energy to constrain my thoughts properly. The broadcasting seems to serve the purpose of relieving pressure buildup in my brain. Did ya hear anything that ya want me to explain to ya?”

Hart chuckled. “You seem to love your coffee.”

“Yes, I truly do,” I said. “Anything else?”

Jessing giggled. “Your man did not let you sleep much last night.”

I lifted my coffee cup and saluted her rightness. The owl shifter chuckled and shook her head at our silliness.

Conn stumbled into the room looking worse than I did. But I didn’t think it was for the same reasons.

“How’s Mulan feeling this morning?”

“She’s acting strangely. One moment she is angry. The next she is in tears. And then she gets violently sick.”

Jessing looked at me and then at Conn. “Women get hormonal at certain times in their lives,” she told him.

Conn frowned at Jessing’s comment. “Mulan is only fifty. She’s not old enough to be hormonal in the way you are implying.”