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I grunted in answer. “Did ya get the one I didn’t send?”

“Yes. You don’t think I’m safe anymore.”

My head moved up and down slowly. “Ya know better than I do what the military is capable of, Ben. Ya also know that Rasmus may or may not have done enough to stop those who sent the bowman. His guardian sensibilities dictate the depth of his actions.”

A grunt escaped from Ben. “You’re saying you don’t trust the guardian’s take on things.”

“I trust that Rasmusthinkshe’s solved the problem.”

“But...” Ben prompted.

“But no... if it had been up to me, I likely would have killed all of those who were colluding and plotting against us. Or at least, I would make them completely forget we existed. His best action was to revert the man-made guardians into full humans. Not that they’ll stop experimenting. Ya were right about that. No amount of killing will change the military’s idea that they can genetically engineer the perfect soldier.”

Ben rose from his seat to pace. He slid his hands into the pockets of his pants. “Do you think Felicity’s talisman is a crutch for me?”

I felt sympathy for Ben’s dilemma. He was having to come to terms with himself at last.

“I think ya need to embrace yer monster side and learn to control it. Yer lack of control might one day be used against ya.Dylan and I have been researching in our spare time. The far darrig is remarkably skilled at what he callsgetting into secure systems. I thought Mulan was a whiz at that stuff, but Dylan got into databases ya wouldn’t believe.”

Ben stopped pacing and pulled one hand out of his pocket to scrub at his face. “For now, let’s set aside the fact that a member of your team is a computer hacker. We’ll come back to that later. What did you two learn about me?”

I smiled at Ben. It didn’t surprise me he knew that we’d looked him up. He was sharp, and his mind needed to keep busy. I felt some genuine sympathy for Felicity’s dying dream of Ben retiring. Maybe that’s why I kept working with him. Ben and I were kindred souls about our dedication to our work.

“Dylan told me it took him only a single day to hack into the records of yer experiment because scientists brought it out of paper storage and digitized the files... whatever that means. All I know is that he read about it online and printed it for me to read. I’ll send ya home with a copy.”

Ben stared at me. I held up a hand. “I only read the stuff concerning yer monster side. Dylan marked it for me with sticky notes.”

“Do you know how many crimes you two committed?”

I crossed my arms. “Do ya want to know what we learned or not?”

Ben lifted a hand in defeat and let it fall. “I might as well hear it.”

I grinned at him. “We learned ya weren’t the only one of yer team who survived. They lied to ya, Ben. More than half of yer team lived, but they kept them in a secret program where they became permanent test subjects. They’re listed as dead to the world, but they’re not dead at all. Ya were the only one they couldn’t control with promises of gobs of money. They also considered yer failure to initial shift as not worth pursuing. Thisis why they let ya serve out yer military time. It made them look caring instead of like heartless bastards. They had ya marked as normalized and used ya as a cover for what they did otherwise.”

I sighed when Ben pushed a frustrated hand through his hair.

“Who lived?”

“Dylan marked the page with their names. All of them have a beast form, which is listed beside it. None of them have any that compares with yers. Goddess only knows what their forms are now, though. Unlike you, they’ve been living and probably fighting in them. They also got more done to them than you had done. Yer form has evolved naturally. In that regard, ya’re one of a kind.”

“Are they prisoners?”

I spread my hands wide. “They’re not being held in cells or even all in one place. They’re flung throughout society with new identities and new lives. Some are married, but none of them have children. Dylan said the no children part was intentional. They made sure ya couldn’t have any.”

“I knew that part. We were supposedly sterilized by whatever agent we were exposed to during the war. Our equipment is still fine, but we’re shooting blanks.”

I pondered “shooting blanks” for a moment. That was not a cliché about guns. Eventually, I figured out what he meant. The military had taken away his ability to have children. It was a terrible thing to do to someone who’d been serving his country.

“I’m sorry, Ben.”

“Me too now that I know it wasn’t involuntary,” he said.

“Dylan thinks—though this is just speculation—that yer natural development is a better situation. The last thing he found in the files was a reactivation order. Given that ya’re technically retired, they can’t get ya to come in. They may be goading ya into coming after them because they want to see ya.”

“You mean they plan to capture me. That’s pretty clear.”

I leaned forward and nodded. “Yes. My gut said ya weren’t safe from them, and now Dylan’s research proves it. I also don’t think this will be going away on its own. Conn is warning every caste he can reach that giving blood to the scientists will be a death sentence.”