Page 53

And Goddess knew, I’d given them all lots of practice.

“My problems are in our realm because I am here. The killers and the contract will be here. I’ve taken outnot one but twoof the royal fairy family. I’ve created a mess in our realm that is nearly impossible to fix. I can’t travel to the land of the fairies. The Dagda won’t let me.”

And I couldn’t leave Conn, Mulan, and the guardians behind to fight misguided fairies until they came to their senses. Murray, a fairy I counted as a friend, had done nothing significant to help. He’d shrank back from the angel magicksurrounding Ezra and left me with dire warnings not to kill the betraying male fairy.

I didn’t know how I was going to fix this, but I had to come up with something. Killing the fairies would start a war. Letting other fairies dethrone the one who formally safeguarded humans was another bad idea.

But I couldn’t just let both of them go.

Either Ezra or his sister—perhaps both—might come after me again. At some point, I’d drop my guard and they would succeed. That would be the price of not following this through.

And what about Fiona? The angel currently guarding her wouldn’t be there forever. He said he was watching Ma because that was where Fiona currently stayed. What would happen when her training was over?

My head spun with it all. I should have recorded the scene in the cave with Hisser. Conn was always telling me I needed to learn to use technology better. I never dreamed there would come a time when I wished I had done so.

“I need to go. I need time to think,” I said.

I’d been saying similar things a lot lately. I was always running away from what I discovered when the answer wasn’t readily available. When I was younger, I never wrestled with a decision like I tended to do these days.

Now, I had to be more careful than ever. I had so many people in my life that I would never sleep if they had to live in constant danger because of me.

Damn Ezra for causing me this anxiety. I had suspected my troubles were because of him. Learning the identity of my fairy assassin confirmed his role. And I hadn’t needed Hart and Jessing after all.

Fairies visiting this realm were required to register with the Shadow Breakers.

I knew that factoid but I’d forgotten it. If I’d thought of asking, Ben could have looked her up. But I hadn’t. Too much was going on for me to think clearly.

Dying multiple times had left more than one lasting impact that I was finding difficult to overcome.

Chapter Fifteen

Iasked Henry to put Hart and Jessing in his guest suite downstairs. Instinct warned that it would best to keep them separated from the rest of us if we wanted to sleep in peace.

Staying at Fiona's house had been out of the question because it remained untouched. The blue house we used for office space only had nothing but office furniture and cots. No, I wanted the enforcers spoiled with enough pampering that they would leave me alone for a while.

Henry and Gale knew that was my plan when I asked to put them by the pool and spa room because that was part of their private space.

Currently, I was hiding from everyone in the greenhouse.

It was growing late, but I was still trimming my unruly wolf’s bane. I’d purchased the dangerous plant to make a tranquilizer in case the demon wolves got out of hand. But they hadn’t done so yet.

Instead, they were like two puppies racing and playing. I had yet to see a single instance of aggression. This was what worried me about them guarding the property. What would they do to an intruder? Wag their tails and whine at them?

Maybe I could find a mean horse for Zara to convert. That shouldn’t be too hard. Would the horse keep his aggression after being turned into a pegasus? That was anyone’s guess, and I had no idea. I’d seen a couple of natural pegasi from a distance, and I knew they weren’t social creatures. However, my experience with genetic mutations wasn’t very positive, except for the demon wolves.

“There you are. I’ve been looking everywhere. Are you upset over the fairies?” a sexy male voice asked me from the doorway.

I set my tiny shovel aside and pulled off my gardening gloves. “Yes, I’m upset and hiding from people. No, you don’t want to know why. Or what I’m regretting not doing. Ya wouldn’t like knowing what I think.”

Rasmus ducked his head to clear the doorway. “Perhaps not, but I like you hurting even less. I believe this is the most obvious time when we should be sharing our true thoughts without holding back. That’s what loving human couples do, is it not?”

I nodded at his summary of what should be true in a loving relationship.

If Rasmus wanted to hear the non-neutral truth of my feelings, I guess I would tell him. But he wouldn’t like it.

And our disagreement could drive a wedge between us.

I’d already suffered enough over the male fairy who wanted my power. I would come to hate Ezra more than I already did if he came between me and the guardian male I’d chosen to love.