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I made Rasmus come sit beside me on my little bench. “Okay. Here it is. I regret that I did not kill the fairy when I had the best of reasons to do so. He has tried to kill me twice, and I showed him mercy twice. Now, I’ve shown his murderous sister mercy as well. Yet neither of them would ever admit that they were in the wrong. They decided I was their enemy simply because they didn’t win.”

“Are you sure the situation is as hopeless as you imagine it is?”

I stared at him and nodded. “Yes, Rasmus. From their point of view, they survived me despite all odds, which translates into them being in the right because of it. They are big believers in fate and revenge. Their passions run hot and I have disrupted their plotting. I am their enemy and they do not change their minds about such things.”

“But this is not their realm, and their rules don’t apply here. In this realm, they need to be following your rules. Here, you are the judge of what is fair and not fair.”

I shrugged. “Ya might think that would be the case. With fairies, the rules waver with the politics. There is a balance humans carefully maintain with them because our realms rely on each other. I threw it out of balance by not following the rules of this realm which justified their deaths. It doesn’t matter that something kept me from following through each time. Instead of questioning their motives, they will see me as their problem and their solution will be to kill me.”

“Being merciful is the default setting of your true nature, despite the bloodthirsty things you tend to say. You refuse to hurt people when you feel there is any other option available. Jack is walking proof of that. He’s wronged you enough times to destroy you emotionally. I could never let him hurt you that way again without intervening. I would tell his father and insist he teach Jack the wrongness of harming you.”

I stared at the guardian and blinked in shock. Did he seriously think telling Jack’s guardian father on him would stop my power-hungry ex-husband from trying to retrieve the Dagda stone from my dead body? My death would be an illuminating event for Rasmus.

Jack and Ezra both wanted the stone and the rest of my powers for the same reason. They’d decided they deservedto use it more than I did. If I died today, they would become jackals who fought over my remains. Neither Jack nor Ezra believed me when I said my power was my inheritance and that only I could wield it.

Yet that is an undeniable truth, a male voice said in my head.We would serve no other but a child of The Dagda or the god himself.

I patted my chest. “Yes, I know. Quiet, please. This conversation doesn’t involve ya. I’m explaining it to Rasmus.”

Apologies, Aran.We will resume our own work now.

I chuckled and patted my chest again.

Then I turned to the guardian. “Killing Ezra would have been a sanctioned death, especially during the Hisser incident. But Fiona’s angel—yer old supervisor—stopped me. Killing his sister would have been legitimate as well when she stabbed either of us, but Mulan stopped her at the end before I could swing my sword across her neck. My mercy was accidental in both those cases, Rasmus. The only true mercy I showed was after I thawed Ezra out. Maybe I felt guilty for using the angel’s energy to save a condemned being who might not have deserved to be saved.”

“You were the jiangshi’s savior. Saving him was the right thing to do. You evolved his soul, and that is life-changing.”

Of course, the guardian would say something like that. Rasmus never wanted me to kill anyone. I didn’t enjoy doing it, but it got rid of my problems in a hurry.

I lifted a hand to stop him from lecturing me further. “Today, I found out Ezra has two more royal fairy siblings who might come after me. Wiping out that generation would be a waste of life. Worse than that, that fairy female is the royal whois supposedto be guarding humans from fairy shenanigans. Now that I know who she is, I can’t kill her, even though it might cost me my life and the lives of those who know me.”

The guardian just looked at me. I’d seen that look before. He was thinking of how to convince me I was wrong.

“Showing mercy has not served me well, Rasmus. Conn tried to teach me that my entire life. I think I have finally learned that lesson.”

Rasmus sighed and put an arm around me to pull me close. “There is always a way,” he said. “The question is whether or not we can find it in time.”

I thought of Mulan and the baby she carried. What if something happened to them?

I closed my eyes as I spoke. “As much as you and I have argued, ya know I am not above seeking revenge. I’m not perfect, nor even particularly good. And I don’t think I’ve ever pretended to be for anyone’s sake. I tear misbehaving demons apart for a living, Rasmus. That’s my true calling. This Shadow Breakers stuff is simply what pays the bills.”

Rasmus nodded and then smiled at me. I could feel the lecture coming, but I wasn’t prepared for the parable, so I ended up listening.

“You lied to Jack for many years, but you did so for the best of reasons. The man you loved betrayed you, and you feared he would betray your child as well. Intentions count more than humans realize. When you follow them, they shape your reality.”

I snorted and then laughed dryly. Not because Rasmus wasn’t right—I agreed with him—but because talking to Rasmus was like talking to Orlin.

Their otherworldly guardian ability to see all nuances of every situation was the secret to their alleged wisdom. They were like walking gods—or at least computers—seeing every tiny possibility all at once. From their multi-vantage point, they felt justifiably superior to humans. That meant their choice of thosemany possibilities was, of course, the best one that could be made.

Human minds had natural limitations. Some had more than others. My human mind could see a lot of nuances in most situations, but never as many as Rasmus could see. Yet I was sure I saw a good ninety percent of this one. No matter what my guardian thought I should do or think, my future decisions rested on the next one I made.

I didn’t know what to do to get out of this mess without starting afairies versus humanswar. This was bigger than me not killing the fairies when I had the chance.

This was about harmony between the realms.

“Take some time to forget your problems,” Rasmus said. “I find it helpful when I am thinking too hard. You are very much like me when you are trying hard to find the best solution.”

“Really? Are ya saying we’re equals then?” I asked just to see what he would say. It was something I asked him frequently.