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“Will he be able to tell when my grandmother’s soul reincarnates?”

“I don’t know. She definitely will not be the same person. Murieann lived the life she was meant to live as a Daughter of The Dagda. Orlin found her, loved her, and lost her. Similar events happen to many beings. Losing someone is as much a part of life as finding them. That is especially true for guardians.”

I was glad I had found Rasmus and that he was here with me. And if I was honest, without the trouble Jack had caused both of us, we might never have met. Never meeting Rasmus seemed like an impossibility, but I could still picture it as a frightening reality. I wondered if Murieann had felt finding Orlin had been worth the heartache she suffered when he disappeared and never returned.

Thinking of my grandmother, I swallowed hard and forced words out through a dry throat. Conn was right. Rasmus would never think about things the same as me, but we belonged to each other. I wanted every second with him I could have.

I cuddled him as best I could. “Jack’s destructive behavior made me lie to him and hide my truths to protect myself and Fiona. Ya draw my soul out into the light and show me who I am beneath my power. The two of us have a genuine relationship, not a fake one. And I respect ya, Rasmus. Tonight, though, all I want to do is cry because ya broke one of yer sacred guardian rules for my sake. I’d rather be mad at ya forever than worry that saving my life might cost ya yer own one day.”

Rasmus squeezed my fingers. “Is this what human love feels like?”

I smiled and nodded. “Yes. This is what genuine love is like,” I whispered, squeezing back. “Ya do whatever ya have to in order save the people ya love. Then ya weep over yer fate afterward for things working out like they did. Yer people are lucky that humans lack yer time-altering abilities. I’m sure ya would be appalled by our choices and have to wipe us from the Earth.”

“Not all guardians can do what I can, Aran. Some can stop time in a small room. Orlin has that ability—also Zara and a few others. I can affect much more... or even less, which is trickier. In your case, I rewound only a few moments, and then I pushed time forward again to replay the same events that already occurred. Disrupting your fate was only possible because I’d already watched her stab you. I rarely use those talents, and yet I’ve stopped time for you twice.”

“It was a fatal gut wound the fairy gave me with her dagger. I knew it was fatal because the stone stayed silent and didn’t interfere. Tonight, I learned the hard way that all the power in the world can’t help if ya fail to help yerself. I should have called an energy sword the very instant I saw a stranger walking around my house. Next time, I won’t hesitate or question my instincts just because I’m in a place where I normally take my safety for granted.”

“We’ll tighten the security so you will be safer.”

I thought of the initial discussion Conn and Henry had about the fairy’s treachery. It had needed to be had, but making Henry that unhappy still bothered me. I didn’t blame him for the fairy’s treachery. I blamed myself for not doing what I should have done when instinct warned me.

I wasn’t Fiona’s age. I was forty. And I knew better than to go against my instincts. “When ya’re healed, we’ll talk about what Zara and ya might be able to contribute to shielding our home. I should have asked ya earlier but I was too proud to insist ya get involved. Any of ya could become the next pawn in the chess game they’re playing with my life. Goddess only knows what Ezra has done.”

“What kind of contract would require your death?”

“One that falsely claims the person who kills me will collect the power I’m packing inside my body. It’s not like ya can explain to would-be killers that the Dagda stone and my agreement with Conn will never be theirs. It will pass to a family member until it can pass to one of Fiona’s children.”

“So Ezra has put you in danger for no good reason.”

I shrugged. “It’s not a reason anyone will ever profit from, but there’s still my life on the line. I’d prefer to keep living. My life has been of great value to me since I met you.”

“I like being the man in your life. I would prefer you keep living as well.”

“I love you too,” I said, patting his chest. “Get some rest now. We made it through this one. Tomorrow will surely bring another threat until I can figure out how to stop the bad guys from trying to kill me.”

Chapter Ten

Ben swiped a hand over his face. “This is history repeating itself in some alternate universe way. Are you sure this is Ezra’s sister?”

“No,” I said honestly. “But that’s what she told me just before she called him by name. She said her brother wanted her to offer me a proper goodbye before I died. ”

“And you say it was the Wu Shaman who froze her like this?”

“Yes, but Mulan doesn’t know how she did it. The last time I saw her, she was glaring at her shaman staff for freezing the female fairy without telling her how to repeat the process.”

Ben reached into his pocket and pulled out a pack of gum. He held the pack out to me, offering a piece.

I smiled and shook my head. “No, thanks.”

“I’m a reformed smoker,” Ben said in explanation as he put a small stick of cinnamon gum into his mouth. “I use gum to handle my anxiety. Chewing gum keeps me from buying a pack of cigarettes and lighting up. I’ve chewed a hell of a lot of gum since I met you, Aran O’Malley.”

I grinned at Ben’s confession. It was probably wrong of me to be proud of causing him so much mental and emotional distress.

“Don’t be blaming me for yer nasty habits, Colonel Benson. I’m too busy fighting off assassins to cause ya any real anxiety problems. I only called ya here because the attack on me in my home is a professional problem as much as it is a personal one.”

“I’m afraid to ask why,” Ben said.

The sigh following his statement was as loud as his chewing noise. I blew out a breath and tried not to cringe at the sounds he was making. Then I imagined him chewing gum in his fanged gorilla form and had to cover my mouth to keep from laughing at the image in my head.