Page 17 of You Chive Me Crazy

The parrot squawked. “Yo, Adrian!”

Betsy glanced toward the bird cage and smiled. “That is Alexa, our extremely talkative African grey parrot. She loves to make her presence known.”

“How many words does she know?” I asked.

“Her vocabulary is very extensive, somewhere around a thousand words. She picks up what she hears on the TV and from conversations around here, so be careful what you say because she will repeat it.”

Alexa squawked. “You complete me.”

Betsy gave me a knowing smile. “She’s a big movie buff.”

“You had me at hello,” Alexa said.

“And she has this odd fascination with the movieJerry Maguire,” Betsy added, laughing. “Okay then, follow me to your room so you can get settled in.”

As we made our way up the grand staircase, I ran my hand along the detailed hand-carved wooden banister, glancing at the framed black and white photographs on the wall of the home and marveling at its history.

“Welcome to the Love Shack,” Betsy said, swinging the door open for us.

I waved Zoe in, then stepped inside the room behind her, the floorboard squeaking underneath my feet. I glanced around, admiring the four-poster king bed, vintage dresser topped with fresh flowers in a hobnail vase, and beautiful perfume bottles from days gone by. The charming turn-of-the-century brass lamps on the nightstands presented a romantic glow around the room.

I walked over to the enormous window and let out a wolf whistle. “Wow.” The room overlooked Big Bear Lake. “Now, that’s what I call a view.”

Zoe moved next to me, glancing out the window to appreciate the panoramic view. “It’s gorgeous.”

Betsy smiled proudly. “We love it here.” She pointed toward the desk. “You can check the binder there for a list of amenities and meal times. You have your own tub and shower, but there is an even bigger Jacuzzi in the backyard. We also have free Wi-Fi, and an unlimited supply of peanut M&M’s. Do you have any dietary restrictions?”

“No,” Lucas and I said simultaneously.

“Perfect. Oh, and there are also extra blankets, quilts, and pillows in the closet if you need them.”

“Thank you,” I said.

“It’s our pleasure to have you staying with us.” She turned to Zoe. “Please rest up. You missed the afternoon cheese, crackers, and wine, but we hope to see you downstairs for dinner in a couple of hours, if you’re up for it. Otherwise, just let me know and I’ll send some food up.”

“Thanks,” Zoe said. “I appreciate it.” As soon as the door closed behind Betsy, Zoe sat on the edge of the bed and kicked off her shoes. “We need to establish some rules and boundaries later, but right now, the only thing I need is to close my eyes.”

“That’s a good idea,” I said. “I won’t make a sound. I’ll use the time to ice my ankle and read a book.”

Zoe glanced down at my foot and squished her eyebrows together. “You said it was nothing.”

“Right. Nothing,” I said, trying to ignore the throbbing pain in my ankle.

“It looks likesomething, notnothing.”

I opened my mouth and closed it. “No—you are trying to make it something, but I can assure you it’s nothing serious.”

She shrugged. “I just don’t get why you’re icing it if it’s nothing. Just for the hell of it? You’ve got nothing better to do?”

I sighed. “Have you ever heard of the Polar Bear Plunge?”

“No.”

“People jump into icy waters all around the world. Sometimes the water gets down to thirty-two degrees or lower. They don’t have to do it, but they do.”

Zoe glanced at me. “So . . . icing your ankle is a hobby?”

I pressed my index fingers to my thumbs, closed my eyes, and took in a deep breath.