Page 51

Mia shifts in my arms, turning her face to press against my side.

Her warm breath ghosts against my skin. The house is still and quiet in the early morning.

Not even Lezak is up yet, but I can't bring myself to go back to sleep.

An anxious buzz has taken over me, but it's not in a bad way this time .

Mia and I talked a lot over dinner last night.

I explained why I kept things from her and expressed my fears behind them, elaborated on how ruin follows me wherever I go.

She shared her own fears of being left and how my lack of communication ignited those fears.

We worked through those remaining issues, apologizing when those needed to be said.

We made commitments to one another and the relationship we were hoping to build.

We talked for hours, with Lezak asleep at my feet and the dishes left forgotten, when we finally made our way to bed.

We had tumbled into the covers, clothes lazily coming off one another.

There was no frenzy, no biting passion. We took our time with one another, got to know each other’s bodies as fully as possible.

She found a spot on the inside of my upper thigh that I didn’t know could bring the sounds out of me that it did.

Then again, maybe it’s Mia. I finally got to see what it looked like when she came apart on my tongue and fingers.

Each second that passed between us was charged with something different from burning passion. It was contentment.

And as I pulled her into my arms, watching her fight sleep after the magical night we had, I knew this was where I wanted to be. I wanted to be here yesterday, today, tomorrow, and forever if she’ll have me.

I will be the luckiest man alive if this gets to be my forever. If there's any higher being out there listening to me, I beg and plead that I don't do anything stupid to mess this up again.

With my free hand, I reach out to grab my phone from the nightstand.

I scan the notifications to see if I missed any important messages.

Part of me contemplates sending Bryce and Carter a text to tell them I'm staying, but it doesn't feel right.

Text messages, avoiding confrontation, and taking the easy way out are how I handled things before.

If I'm serious about this being a fresh start, I should probably work on changing that approach.

"You better not text them."

I look down, expecting to be met with eyes that make my heart soar, but Mia's eyes are still closed. And her face is still pressed against me.

"How did you possibly know what I was thinking?"

One hazel eye pops open and I can see half her smile. "Because I know you, Ronan. You may not be running away, but you hate confrontation and that's not going to vanish. But you owe them more than that."

I set the phone down on the bed with a groan. "Guys text each other their big news; we don't make some big declaration."

"Bryce and Carter do."

"Yeah, but Bryce and Carter also have matching tattoos." It's a joke, but I know what she means by it. "Unfortunately, there are still a lot of men out there who do the bro thing instead of being real with their friends."

"And is that the type of man you want to be? Especially to two guys who stepped up for you in your darkest moment?" Her questions are quiet. I wonder if she's scared to ask them, despite already knowing the answer.

The truth is, I don't know how to have the kind of friendship Bryce and Carter have.

Besides them, I've never had real friends.

People have always wanted something from me.

While she's working on believing me when I tell her I'm staying, I'm working on opening up to people and trusting them to accept me as I am.

And whether she realizes it extends to friendship or not, these are the traits that made her think I wasn't coming back.

"Put yourself in their shoes. If either one of them worked for you and thought about quitting— "

"I haven't thought about quitting in over a month," I argue. "I had to sort some stuff out before I told anyone I was staying."

"And decided not to let any of us in on your thought process," she replies with a poke to my chest.

I can tell by her teasing tone that she's not mad at me about what happened, not anymore. But she isn't going to let this go until I figure out a better way to tell our friends the truth. For that, I think I'll need her help.

"What do you think I should do?"

She shrugs. "How about you look them in the eye and tell them the truth?"

I know it's that simple, but I've never allowed myself to believe it. I’ve never allowed myself to trust that I can be transparent with someone and they'll accept what I tell them.

I know my job isn't in jeopardy, and I know the two of them would never kick me out or be mad at me for wanting to stay.

They've repeatedly told me they want me to stay.

Being this vulnerable with them, though, is something I haven't done since we were all in a hospital room and rehabilitation center.

Mia and I barely make it to the club in time for my practice.

I had every intention of arriving early and having plenty of time to talk to them, but when a beautiful woman pulls you on top of her with a wicked smile, you lose sense of time.

Or, rather, you forget to set an alarm to wake you up from the nap that's sure to follow.

When we walk into the lobby, Bryce and Carter are going over the workout plan I had given them.

Loud teenager chatter echoes from the locker room.

It feels good to walk through the doors of Adair, knowing I have no plans of ever walking out of them indefinitely.

It is yet another space where I feel comfortable and confident in my own skin—a space I can keep coming back to.

"That took me months to come up with—don't fuck it up!"

Their heads snap toward me, confusion creasing their brows as I stand before them with a smile.

Bryce is the first to crack. "You're back. And you're here."

I hold in my groan. "I was never not coming back! Jesus."

"Well, Mia can be pretty convincing when she’s sure of something. So, when are you leaving?"

The question stings. I can't pretend it doesn't. Despite him pointing the blame toward Mia, it's clear he was expecting me to come in here and announce that I think they have a handle on things and wish them luck with it before I head out to the next great adventure.

Except this is the greatest adventure I've ever had, and I want to stick around to see it through.

Mia nudges me in the side. I guess now is as good a time as any.

"About that…I'm not."

Bryce and Carter exchange a look that's full of silent communication. It's the same look Mia and Josie give one another. Then they look back at me with small frowns. They really do spend too much time together.

"Not what?" Carter finally asks.

"Not leaving," I reply with a bright smile. "That trip to California was never meant to be a precursor of me leaving. It was me tying up some loose ends with who I'm handing the reins to at Operation Fly."

Bryce balks. "Wait, what? You're giving up your organization to come out here and work for us? That's not what we wanted you to do, Ronan. "

"Operation Fly is in good hands. I have enough coaches and other team members for it to run without me. I’m still on the board, so there will obviously be times I need to be there for something, but the day-to-day is not my responsibility anymore.

It hasn't been for a long time; I just made it official. And then I came home."

Bryce looks to Mia. I don't know what he sees in her features. I keep my gaze locked on him. Whatever he sees, though, must calm him since he turns back to me and holds out the clipboard and stopwatch. "You got a bunch of teenagers to coach. That's what I hired you for."

I reach out and grab everything. I turn to give Mia a quick kiss before I head out onto the deck, needing to make sure everything is in order for today's practice. Just as I'm about to walk out of the lobby, I hear Mia murmur a "Shut up, Clark" and my grin grows.