Page 130 of X's and O's

“Not so much. But I still don’t know what that has to do with me apparently wanting a woman who looks anything different than the one standing right in front of me.”

“I’m too tall for a woman. Too thick. Too fat.” She threw her hands up, helpless. “Too much of everything.”

I pushed open the shower curtain so I could see her properly. “Or maybe you’re too sweet. Too kind. Too fucking beautiful for your own good.” I stepped out of the shower, not caring that water went everywhere. I stepped right up into her personal space, and when she went to move back to give me more room, I caught her arm, drawing her against me roughly, her body pressed against mine, the water soaking her clothes. “You’re not too much for me, Violet. Not in any way. You aren’t too tall. Youaren’t too thick. You aren’t too fat. You’re just you. Why the fuck would I be chasing you all over town like a lost dog if it wasn’t you I was attracted to? Don’t you know how getting you naked, seeing every curve and lump and bump is all I’ve been thinking about ever since I first saw you?”

“I didn’t think about it like that,” she whispered, tipping her chin up to meet my eyes.

I brushed my lips over hers. “I’m a grown fucking man, Violet. I know what I want. And she’s standing right in front of me.”

She lifted onto her toes and connected our mouths, and that was all it took for me to claim hers like I owned it. I devoured her lips, pressing down on her hard, reminding her the words I’d spoken were the same ones my body now felt with every cell.

I dragged her back into the shower with me, the water falling down over our heads while I kissed her like I needed air to breathe. I flicked my tongue along the seam of her lips, and she opened for me, a small moan slipping from her mouth as I tucked my fingers beneath the hem of her tank top and pulled it up over her head.

I groaned. She was all tits and belly rolls and curvy hips, and I immediately wanted to bury my face in the softness of her.

This was the body she’d been so hesitant to show me?

Women worried about the weirdest things.

I lowered my head, licking the trail of water that ran down her neck. I traced it along her chest and the swell of her tits before cupping both. She was more than a handful, spilling over my fingers, tits heavy and so fuckingperfect, her nipples straining for my attention. I slid my tongue lower, desperate to have one in my mouth.

She tipped her head back, her lips parting, offering herself up to me.

I devoured her nipple, drawing it into my mouth, alternating between sucking and licking. With my fingers, I teased the other into a stiff peak that begged for my mouth but would have to wait its turn.

I couldn’t wait to get there. But I needed to map every inch of her nipple, my dick harder with every touch, the combination of her moans and the feel of her in my hands and on my tongue too much for my messed-up brain.

You’re losing control, Knox.

I was alone with a woman, and this was exactly what the therapists had all warned me about. This was exactly why I only ever fucked women in the middle of Psychos or other public places where I couldn’t get lost and do something I might regret.

It was why I’d left her the other night after we’d made out. Because sleeping next to her hadn’t been an option when I knew I could have woken up with my fingers around her throat.

But she was so fucking perfect. I wasn’t ready to walk away.

I could control it.

I switched breasts, giving the same attention to the second as I had the first. Her fingers speared through my hair, brushing water droplets away that were instantly replaced with more falling from the showerhead.

Her touch drove me wild.

I never normally let women touch me. I’d always been too scared to. And now I knew I’d been right.

Because her touch felt exactly like losing control.

I fought with the urges in my head. Knowing I needed to stop, but I couldn’t. Not yet.

I dropped down on my knees, swirling my tongue around her belly button, then lower. I pressed my mouth to her core, over the shower-soaked underwear I so badly wanted off her body.

I glanced up at her, gaze skimming over all the parts of herself she hated. The same parts that had me so turned on my dick physically hurt. “Say your pussy is mine tonight, Violet.”

I needed that permission. I didn’t want to hurt her. Or scare her. I hated that I had, and I’d been trying so hard to make up for it, though clearly some things I’d tried had been a whole lot less successful than kissing her and sucking on her nipples had been.

“Yes,” she moaned.

I dragged her panties down, exposing the sweet slit between her legs.

She’d waxed or shaved herself bare, and I fucking loved it. The water ran over her skin in rivers, like paths of temptation that if I followed would lead right to secret places I couldn’t wait to explore.