Page 7 of Wrangled
The only thing was, I hadn’t worked that out until he was already dead.
I struggled to drag my attention back to the conversation.
“I had to ask. Not everyone thinks like you, you know.” But that wasn’t true. I’d had an inkling more of my workers thought like Zeeb.
He waved his hand. “I ain’t got no problem with it. Each to his own.” His eyes twinkled. “And seeing as we’re being so honest… I can’t say the thought hasn’t crossedmymind once or twice.”
I stilled.The thought of what?If the guys knew I was gay, well, I could live with that. But as for them knowing about my… proclivities?
That was something I wanted to keep under wraps.
“You see it all over the place nowadays, right?” Zeeb continued.
“See what?” I mentally crossed my fingers.Please, God, let me keep some secrets, all right?
“Guys having sex with guys. What do they call it, a bromance?”
I forced a smile. “Not sure a bromance automatically means sex. But yeah, itisout there a helluva lot more than it used to be.” My heartbeat slid down a notch or two. Then his words sank in. “Wait—you’ve thought about having sex withguys?”
“Why not?” he said with a shrug. Then he grinned. “Maybe I wanna see what all the fuss is about.”
I blinked. “You know, I’m not sure if you were actually being serious, or just trying to be supportive—in a weird-assed kinda way.”
“You take it whichever way you want.” His gaze met mine. “But boss, I gotta say…You can’t keep doing this.”
“Doing what, exactly?”
“Coming here every day. It’s… it’s not good for ya.”
I bristled. “You were right. It’s no one’s business but mine.”
He held up his hands. “Hey, I’m only telling you what you already know deep down, so don’t go shooting the messenger. It’s beenfive years, boss. You have to move on. You can’t keep… torturing yourself.”
Yes, I do, for reasons you know nothing about.
Only, I couldn’t keep a lid on my guilt. Not on this day. “But it was my fault.”
Zeeb glared at me. “No, it wasn’t.Youdidn’t put him on that horse. And you sure as shit didn’t pour that whiskey down his throat before he did.”
“Maybe so.”But I was the reason he was drinking whiskey in the first place.
Except that was only partly true. He’d been drinking before our argument. After it, he just drank more.
Zeeb fell silent for a moment. “You know what? You’re right. It’s none of my business. This is between you and your conscience. But Iwilltell you this for free.” He leaned forward, his hands resting on the pommel. “You know what you need to do?”
“Burn this cabin to the fucking ground?”
He scowled. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you. You’ve got a lotta stuff you have to work through first before you get to that point. But… maybe you should consider going into Bozeman. To Lacey’s.”
I widened my eyes. “You think I’m gonna cure all my problems in abar?” I hadn’t touched a drop of alcohol since Kevin died.
“Wasn’t thinking about drinkin’. There’s a band playing tonight. Not that any ofus’ll be there, for obvious reasons.”
I coughed. “Yeah, let’s not get into that.”
“But lots of peoplearegonna be there. Strangers. Maybe there’ll even be a guy who catches your eye.”
The light dawned.
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