Page 34 of WitchCurse

“That sounds amazing.”

I stepped in close for a second, needing his warmth, and to feel like I hadn’t landed in the middle of this and broken them. He touched my face and I sighed in relief, relaxing into the touch. “Don’t hate me,” I begged. We’d been friends, or at least I thought we had. Was I too broken to keep any of this?

Nick kissed the tip of my nose. “I don’t. Can’t help being angry, but that’s something I need to dive deeper into. Buried it a long time. I need to find a use for the rage or let it go. But that’s not on you.” He let out a long breath. “You have your own demons to battle.”

It was overwhelming. My heart racing at the idea of facing any of it, but I knew if I let the water continue to boil, I’d never cross again, and eventually grow weak due to separation from my wolf.

I leaned into his touch a moment longer before pulling away. “Food. And um…clean pants.”

Nick’s smile was a little wicked. “Enjoyed that, did you?”

“Yes, very much yes,” I agreed, gaze sliding over his thick shoulders and down his body. I wanted to examine every inch of him. A reward. Okay. I could use some motivation.

He grabbed my chin and lifted it to meet his lips, kiss not at all gentle, but demanding and deep, and when he finally pulled away I stood there another minute trying to remember what I was doing.

“Food,” he reminded me, then his gaze fell to my groin. “And clean clothes? I assume you plan to come back here instead of running off to the pack den?”

That was a startling thought. Technically, I had a room in the house, though it was only where my clothing resided. I slept in the den, but that no longer felt like home. This felt like home, where Nick and Kiran were. They were pack now.

“Is that okay?” I asked, thinking the camper was small. Would it be big enough for the three of us?

“I’m building space as we speak,” Nick said. “Sorting the magic from here is a little more complicated than I’m used to. I might have to ask Liam for tips.” He studied me as he mentioned the alpha, but my wolf didn’t stir. He was unbothered as we had mates, and the omega wasn’t nearby. I wondered if that was going to become an issue, Sebastian’s presence.

“I’ll ask while I’m getting food,” I offered, hesitant to step away, but Nick glanced up toward the camper, and we both felt a shudder of something through the bond.

“Nightmare,” Nick said. “I’ll go comfort him.”

I sucked in air, and waited for a minute as Nick opened the door, and finally pulled myself away. “Be back soon,” I promised and headed for the house. I could tell when Nick wrapped himself around Kiran, easing the nightmare because everything within the bond relaxed at the same time. It happened before I even reached the back door of the house, and that was okay, because I needed a few minutes to sort myself out, and change pants.

The house was normally filled with pack, and I hated that, the noise too much for me most days, which was why I followed the omega around. He was in the kitchen when I passed, with Liam, and no one else seemed to be around. Liam didn’t approach, but the weight of his gaze was intense.

“I’m going to go clean up, and then I’ll be back down to bring food over.” I should have been embarrassed. They both likely smelled the spend cooling in my pants. But I wasn’t. My wolf was actually cocky about it, likelook what we did, they are ours, type of bullshit. “Can we have bacon and cake? Kiran loves cake, even if he won’t say so, and I love bacon.”

“Sure,” Sebastian said with a smile.

I headed up the stairs and to the room they’d given me. The bed there was small, but I never used it, the closet full of clothes from my life before. I rarely paid attention to any of them, grabbing whatever when I was required to be human. But I was human.

That thought made me pause, staring into an open drawer. I was human. The wolf might not care what we wore, but I should because my men might. I dug through everything, picking carefully, jeans, bikini briefs in bright blue, and a T-shirt. I needed a shower, felt a little grimy from the trip into the fae court and the battle with theHuntbeasts. That was new, rarely did I feel the need to wash that way as the wolf thought a dip in the stream enough, until Sebastian asked me to shower because I was a bit ripe. I’d gotten better at it lately, setting a schedule to clean up and not send Nick running, but it had never been a desire, not until now.

I headed into the attached bath, turning the water on to hot, and closing the door. It would be a miracle for Nick and Kiran to even look at me, I thought as I glanced in the mirror. My hair had gotten wild, long, thick, and blond, it was not the silken length Kiran’s was, or even the blazing curls of Nick’s. I’d never grown much of a beard before, or paid attention, but it crept up on me, making my face a bit scruffy, with patchy overgrowth. When was the last time I shaved? The memory hit like a brick wall, an evening before a shift of work at the gas station. Had it been that long? Before my change?

My vision flickered for a few seconds, black dots swirling and I gripped the counter, staring not at my reflection, but the white top of the vanity. Nick wanted me to confront the memories. Hell, everyone had wanted me to face them for a while, hadn’t they? Liam and Sebastian had stopped pushing because I retreated, the wolf taking control every time I had to face the past.

Now the choice was to face it, or retreat into the wolf again. Was the pain worth it? Was having a chance to make Nick and Kiran mine, more than some magic bond, worth facing the nightmares that hid in my forgotten past?

I wanted them. The wolf thought it was an already done deal, but human hearts were more complicated. We didn’t justtake.

I slid off my clothes, catching a glimpse in the mirror of the magic wrapped around me. There were physical lines, almost like chains tattooed into my skin, but also layers of magical wrappings. I looked forward to studying them. The magic lines were a rainbow of mixing colors that ran in ombre tones around every inch of me. That at least, was beautiful, even if I wasn’t.

I slid back the curtain and stepped into the shower, closing that small space, which always made my wolf grumpy, but basking in the heat of the water running over my skin. Face the memories, right? The basics had been lost in the tide ages ago, but I searched for them now, finding broken pieces of showering, certain smells, and processes, like shaving. That easy, they slid into place, finding purchase on my side of the shore.

The cleaning process annoyed my wolf, though he lazed on the other side of the divide looking bored. He thought we should go and show our men who had control. Reckless. We didn’t want to frighten them. They might turn their backs on us.

The water churned again, memory rising of something, and I hesitated, standing in the spray of the shower, wondering if I could face it, but knowing it was fear. Whatever that memory was, it was filled with pain.

My wolf didn’t move, seeming indifferent, as if to say,sure, I tried to protect you from this, but if you want pain, here it is. I stood on the shore, watching it for a minute, feeling the real world around me with the hot water and solid walls, but still hesitant to dive in. Would one memory help at all? Or would I suffer through it only for it to be so far out from my current shore that I’d have to find a thousand others before it fit?

Fear of the pain was brutal. Almost immobilizing. My body half frozen and unwilling to move, even if it wasn’t physically. But I forced my mind to step into the water, not warm or welcoming like the flow that rained down on me, but icy, and laced with a million tiny shards of sharp as glass pieces biting into me. But I waded across to the glowing memory, reached for it, knowing the pain that was coming would suck, but hoping to get through it. I grabbed the memory, snagging it tight with two hands, and instead of holding it at a distance so I could toss it away the second it burned, I wrapped my arms around it, and let the memories rise however they needed to.