Page 33 of WitchCurse

I leaned in, pressing him hard into the wall, stroking him, and kissing along his jaw. While I could sense he was focused on me, my body against his, my touch spiraling him upward, there were things rising from the water, glowing, demanding attention. Memories? Good or bad? I couldn’t tell. But neither did I call attention to them, instead finding his lips for a kiss in both worlds, tasting him, exploring his mouth, and layering my strength over him.

The sensation wasn’t all that unlike the finalized bond. A bonding of souls as they found parts of each other to fill. Kiran had been part of me for so long that I hadn’t thought there was any piece of my soul left untouched, but Toby’s will sank deep. All his fear, the terrible human anxiety that drained the energy from his human side and kept him buried in depression, seemed to fade. Not gone, the darkness lingered in the distance, but I’d never been afraid of the dark.

“I want to touch you too,” Toby huffed as his hips thrust into my touch.

“Consider that incentive,” I said, licking his lips and squeezing him as he thrust into my palm.

“For what?” he asked, confused. But he was lost a moment later in pleasure, coming hard and gasping, his grip tightening to pain for a few seconds, before all that was holding him up was me.

I pressed him hard into the side of the camper. Lifting and holding him there, while his head rested on my shoulder and he panted. I was still hard, the clothing between us keeping the chill air from freezing us solid, but there was more between us than just fabric. Toby clung to me, his human side relaxing, even as I felt the memories churning.

“To face them,” I said quietly. “We can’t pave over the past, no matter how dark it gets sometimes.” He went very still in my arms, and a barrier seemed to build between us, like his mind was shoving me out. And that was okay, survival instincts were good. I freed myself from his mind and looked him in the face, the glow of magic gone from his eyes. “How can we hope to fix Kiran when all of us are broken?”

“You’re not,” he protested.

But I was. It was why anger writhed in my gut. The embodiment of wrath, which Kiran had claimed he buried, and I’d been following his lead for years. Only in the final days of madness within Underhill had I glimpsed it, let it trickle to the surface. It returned, demanding a place, insisting that the answers added to the darkness. My strength was anger? What did that bode for us, when Kiran feared it? In that moment I thought maybe I had my own demons to face. Not memories in the same way Toby did, but self-doubt fueled rage. Everyone thought of me as kind and patient.

Fooled them all, I thought, and myself.

CHAPTER13

Toby

My body sang, even though my pants were growing sticky and the air chilled my quickly cooling spend. When was the last time I’d actually come? I flinched at the glimpse of a memory, not wanting to dig into it. But with Nick wrapped around me, I felt a little invincible. The wolf didn’t want me to look, even showed me how to build a mental shield to keep Nick out of my head. The barrier sat between us like an anvil, removing him from that inner world, which instantly turned stormy.

I understood Nick’s hesitation. My human side had plenty of its own, even without all my memories in place. But I liked having Nick wrapped around me, his strength solid and unyielding, though I knew he thought otherwise. I hadn’t dared look at Kiran, fearing Nick would get mad, as I knew his affection ran deep. Now we were bound by fae magic. What did that mean?

“Do we have a chance at all?” I asked, trying to understand what I wanted. The wolf might claim that they were already ours, but mortal hearts didn’t work that way, and I wasn’t about to force them to do anything.

Force.The memory burst forward, boiling in the water like lava, broken free from the center of the biggest boulder, demanding attention. I looked away. To have them, I had to face all of that, not simply pass by it, but face it, find all the jagged edges and set it back together. Was it possible? Did I even want those memories?

I eased myself out of Nick’s embrace, heart thudding, everything about breathing adding weight to my shoulders. Nick’s jealousy was clear. He was upset that he couldn’t give Kiran whatever magic clarity I had. But I suspected he hadn’t been bound to Kiran just because. There were reasons. But as Nick said, we were all broken. Guess that meant we had to fit our jagged edges together too.

My wolf bounded back across the divide, but I remained in control, watching the water with unease. At least my wolf wasn’t demanding I take control of my men. My men. I sucked in a heavy breath. They were mine. Wrapped around me, layered over me, not all that unlike the soul bond Sebastian had with Liam. It felt deep, and without the pack bond, which had vanished when Kiran first bound me, the only ties I could feel were to them.

The wolf also seemed less interested in demanding full control. Like the constant noise of the pack had agitated him, and the silence of only having the three of us was soothing? Or was it having the bond and our own sort of mini pack? I had a lot of questions.

“I’ll go get changed, and get us food,” I said quietly, thinking I needed a bit of time to sort through my own head. The heavy tide of emotions filling my side of the divide demanded attention. I could recoil, or face it. Nick wanted me to face it. He was right about neither of us being ready.

“Is that safe? Are you going to attack the alpha again?” Nick asked.

“I’ve never attacked him before.”

“The bond is new. Maybe you should stay here and let me get food.”

I shook my head and took a step toward the house. I had to change anyway, clothing at least. “Keep an eye on Kiran. I’ll be back soon.” I sighed and took a step toward the house. “Don’t hate me, okay?”

“Why would you think I hate you?”

“Because you’re jealous. I can feel it. But I want you both, maybe even enough to find a way to work with my wolf. Kiran needs you. Even if you think he doesn’t, I know he does. So don’t hate me.” I glanced his way to see his eyes heavy and watery. Would he turn me away if I offered comfort? I never wanted to cause him more pain. But it had been the wolf, which was technically me, who started this mess. “I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean for any of this to happen.”

“Good intentions and all that,” he said absently, not letting the tears fall. His shoulders were set in a tight line and I knew that tension meant he needed to escape. Very few saw Nick the way I had over the past several months. Examining his every nuance had become a hobby. Both him and Kiran, but Nick had always been easier to read.

“Maybe get some rest with Kiran?” I offered, trying to be neutral. We didn’t have to climb mountains or go to war with the fae right this minute.

“That’s the plan. As long as you’re not causing trouble?”

I put my hand over my heart. “I will do my best. Going to go ask for bacon and chocolate cake.”