Page 32 of Wish You Were Her

Allegra didn’t have to ask Jasper for a ride, the keys were already in her hand. Jonah got dressed and followed the two of them out to the jeep, not even entertaining the idea of staying behind. Allegra watched Arthur lean down to whisper something into Jasper’s ear.

“No, stay here with Grace, I’ll be back soon,” she replied.

Jonah and Allegra got into the car and Allegra tried to keep her heart steady.

“It’s my mum,” she said quietly. “Gotta be. I’m too scared to turn my phone on.”

“He would have said if it was your mum,” Jonah said softly. He knew her father better than she did. “Don’t do that to yourself.”

They were at Brooks Books in minutes, due to quiet roads and the size of the town. As Jasper turned off the engine, she placed her hand on Allegra’s arm.

“Breathe. You haven’t done anything wrong.”

“Tonight’s been a whole mess. Everything with Simon—”

“Simon is a huckster. I may be the only person in this town who doesn’t like him, but I’m glad you’re seeing through him. He may turn out good someday, but he’s a—”

Jasper suddenly remembered that Jonah was in the car and it stopped her from continuing.

“Don’t worry,” Jonah said bitterly. “I’m starting to see him more clearly.”

“This is an autistic canonical event, I’m afraid,” Jasper said. “Some of us trust people’s words a little too quickly because we forget that not everyone is like us. It’s a rite of passage.”

“I have to go in,” Allegra said, her words staccato-like with nerves.

“Can I say something quickly?” Jasper pressed.

Allegra tried to calm her breathing. “Yes.”

“You’re eighteen. You’re independent. You can’t get in trouble.

Not anymore, schooldays are done. If he’s cross or mad about something, you don’t have to bow your head and take it.

I know you’re eighteen and being a young adult is weird, and you’re never sure where the lines really are.

They’re not in a number or a birthday and none of the rules click into place.

But you’re allowed to stand up for yourself. Trust me. I’ve been there.”

If Allegra was not in such a hurry to find out why her father had sounded so ominous she would have spilled out all of the warm feelings she felt toward this woman. Instead she swiftly hugged her, before running to the bookshop door.

She unlocked it with shaking hands, holding it open for Jonah as the two of them dashed inside and upstairs. They found George Brooks in the kitchen and, to the astonishment of them both, there was a laptop set up next to him. It sat menacingly on the kitchen table.

Allegra watched her father scowl at the sight of Jonah. “What’s going on, Dad?”

“Sit down, Allegra.”

Remembering Jasper’s words, Allegra elected to stand. “No. Tell me. Is it Mum? Is she okay?”

“Can you hear us, honey?”

Natalie, her publicist, was on the laptop screen and she was wearing a robe. She looked haggard. Allegra would never usually use such a word to describe Natalie, but it was fitting. An assistant to her agent, Sam, was also present on the call.

“I can hear you,” Allegra said shakily.

“Okay, hon. You haven’t been answering either of your phones.”

“No, they’re switched off.”

“Okay. Well.” Natalie was clearly searching for how to begin, while her father would barely look at her. “Did you go on a date tonight?”

The question completely threw Allegra. She felt Jonah’s fingers brush her own, a silent reminder that he was there and on her side. “Yes. Kind of. Not really a date, we just went—”

“But you kissed?”

“Is this about Simon?” Allegra asked, glancing at her silent father. “He kissed me. I didn’t want it, so I left.”

“Okay, hon,” Natalie said, trying to sound soothing. “Well, some amateur pap got a photo of it.”

“Okay,” said Allegra, feeling her body starting to relax. “But, that’s okay. It’ll blow over. Or we explain. I didn’t want it.”

“Well. Then there were follow-up amateur shots of you and,” Natalie suddenly looked to Jonah, “that young man.”

“Jonah,” Allegra said. Her voice sounded different in her ears. “His name is Jonah.”

Natalie sighed. “Well. Honey…”

Allegra watched her publicist fall silent. She watched as the agency assistant looked down at her lap. She watched her father’s face, filled with rage, as he wouldn’t meet her eyes. “What? What is it? What’s happening?”

Natalie looked like she wanted to cry, and that scared Allegra more than anything. “Someone… some scumbag… got shots of you and Jonah tonight.”

Allegra shook her head, feeling slow. “On the street? We were being mobbed.”

“No, sweetheart,” Natalie said. She sounded maternal. Sad. “In the house by the lake.”

Allegra’s whole world stopped. “What?”

“Some parasite with a long lens, maybe,” Natalie said.

“Fuck,” Jonah said softly. “Allegra. It wasn’t a deer.”

Allegra squeezed his hand. “Natalie. Do you—you have the pictures? They’re up already?”

“Yes,” Natalie said. She pulled up the first one.

It was Simon and Allegra, the unwanted kiss caught by a bystander.

It was obvious, even to a person who had no context, that she did not return his attentions.

In the picture, her arms were crossed and she was leaning as far away from him as possible.

“This one went up much earlier tonight. Someone on social media, as I said. It didn’t worry me so much,” Natalie said, as if they were discussing rehearsed answers for a television appearance and not captured moments of Allegra’s actual life. “But these ones…”

She shared three professionally taken images and they made Allegra’s knees give out.

She released a noise of distress as she stared at the screen.

She could feel Jonah’s arms around her, trying to help her stand but she couldn’t move, rendered immobile by the images she was looking at and the knowledge of what they would do to her reputation now that they were public.

The pictures had been taken by someone lurking on the beach by Lake Pristine.

The den of the house was an almost transparent room, so it was like she and Jonah were in a goldfish bowl.

The first image was him standing behind her, his face buried in her neck with his hands brushing the top of her underwear.

Allegra’s front was facing out toward the lake and, unbeknownst to her, the photographer.

It was impossible for someone to believe the images showed a platonic pair.

The second image was Allegra with her back against the long glass window, legs wrapped around Jonah while they kissed passionately.

The third was the two of them kissing. It was, perhaps, the tamer of the three images and yet it was strikingly intimate. He was holding her head in his hands and her arms were draped over his shoulders, their bodies fused together.

A beautiful moment, tarnished. Turned to ash.

“I think I’m going to be sick,” Allegra breathed.

“So, by the by, the editor had Simon confirm his identity from the first photograph and he was only too happy to identify Jonah as well. Once they established everyone was over eighteen, they published,” Natalie reported, rubbing her eyes and taking a quick sip of something that did not look like coffee or tea.

“I’ll kill him,” Allegra heard Jonah say quietly.

“Okay, look,” Natalie spoke, sounding so weary. “If you were my client, Jonah, this would be the easiest fix in the world. In fact, it wouldn’t need fixing. The world would throw you a parade. But, Allegra, we need to get detoxing. The anti-sex crowd will want your contracts dropped. So, we need—”

“Wait a second,” Jonah said, and he sounded far away to Allegra’s ears even though his arms were still around her.

“Why is everyone acting like Allegra’s done something wrong?

We’ve done nothing wrong. Don’t talk to her like she’s been caught drink-driving or hurting an animal—she’s got nothing to apologize for! ”

“Logically, of course that’s true,” Natalie said, exhaling heavily.

“Give me some credit, I’m not a schoolmarm!

Most people aren’t. Most people are going to be completely indifferent or neutral to these pictures.

That’s what any normal person would feel.

But the people who hate women being happy or sexual or visibly enlightened are going to be loud , Jonah.

They’re going to come after her. In bad faith! We have to get our skates on now.”

“You shouldn’t even be here,” George said quietly.

Allegra and Jonah looked at him.

“What?” Jonah said.

“You,” George repeated, looking up at his employee, with cold detachment. “You’re not needed here, you can go. You’ve done enough.”

“Here’s my plan.” Natalie clapped her hands, as if to pull the focus back to the only person who was willing to be unemotional and practical.

“You’re in love. Young love. Fell in love during a much-needed slice of normality for Allegra.

Got a little passionate during a beautiful night by the lake, but did not go any further—”

“Stop,” Allegra said brokenly.

Natalie’s eyes widened. “What?”

“We’re not going to lie. Spin some sanitized version. We’re not going to say anything.”

She was not going to force Jonah into some charade where he had to pretend that he loved her in order to save her reputation.

“Darling, saying nothing just creates a vacuum for them to make up their own version.”

“Allegra,” Jonah spoke gently to her, his face open. “Why can’t we—?”

George suddenly got to his feet, leaving the room without any ceremony. Yet his exit was loud and a clear signal. He would not speak to Allegra with Jonah there.

“Allegra, I think you should post a picture of the two of you on your Instagram and we’ll treat it as a hard launch. The leaked pictures were unfortunate but you’re proud of your relationship and—”

“There is no relationship,” snapped Allegra. “You’re not pressuring him into pretending to date me so I can keep a few networks happy. I’m done with this conversation.”