Page 5

There was no need for me to jump the gun.

I hadn’t done anything wrong. Yet. No, not YET.

I just wasn’t going to do anything. Did I have the best time I’d had in months doing arts and crafts with the girl whose jet-black hair shimmered in the sunlight from the window?

Yes. Did the dark cloud that followed me every time I was alone disappear for an entire afternoon?

It had. Could I keep myself together and embrace a new friendship with a cool chick and leave it at that? Sure I could.

I pulled on a button-down shirt over my T-shirt just as the doorbell pinged. I passed the bathroom that contained a beautiful woman who was now blowing drying her hair, maybe naked.

I wanted to tear through the door to get to her. You can friend-zone this thing. No problemo.

Correct. It was then I started the new habit of reminding myself that one could never have too many friends.

Friendships can be an amazing way to grow as an individual and so much better than making a move on a beautiful woman who’d be sleeping under my roof for the few nights without another soul in sight. Tons better really.

I pulled open the door to see Janice on my doorstep, causing ugh to run through my veins.

She lived up the road, and we’d gone out a few times last summer.

First date went well and ended in her bed.

Bad Gabe. The second date she invited me over for dinner, which turned out to be me meeting ALL of her extended family. A little freaky.

“Hi there, Gabe.”

“Hey, Janice. How are you?”

She leaned against the doorframe, wearing shredded jeans and a white coat while flipping her auburn hair. “I saw your truck in the drive and realized I wanted your truck in my drive.”

What was the quickest way to get her out of here? “Well, I’m hosting my buddy’s wedding party weekend here at the cabin so I’ve been busy. Lots for me to get done.”

She reached out and touched my hand. “It sounds like you might have a little free time tonight? Maybe some hot tub time?”

Clearly, the word busy hadn’t resonated with the woman. I opened my mouth, but there was a commotion behind me. I whipped around to see Fern bobbing down the stairs on her ass.

She quickly hopped up. “Oops.”

Janice gasped. “Are you okay, honey?”

“Oh yeah, I wish I could say I never tripped over my own feet, but it’d be a lie.”

My mouth went dry as my eyeballs landed on her.

She’d traded her glue-covered leggings for a soft pink scoop-shirt highlighting her breasts.

Absolutely perfect breasts. Somebody take me out now.

They were pushed up, and I felt a pull as the vision of holding her and exploring was the only thing flying through my cranium at 100 miles an hour.

There was a squeeze in my chest at the jeans that hugged her curves and took my mind to all sorts of bad places it shouldn’t go. To top it off, she wore brown boots that were a little bikerish and smoking hot.

Her black hair had some loose curls that made me put my hands in my pocket to resist the urge to feel them between my fingers. Her blue eyes smiled as she walked down the last few stairs and stood next to me.

I cleared my throat. “Janice, this is Fern. She’s the Maid of Honor in the wedding party.”

“Hi.” Her eyes went wide. “Wait, are you two a thing?”

“Uh—” Fern wrinkled her nose.

“Oh, thank God.” She giggled and eyed Fern. “We went out on a date in August, he met my family, and I’ve been trying to reach him for months.” She whispered, “Somehow I got his number wrong so I’ve been trying to connect with him for so long.”

Fern looked at me while I’m certain my face was begging her to help me get out of my Janice situation.

Maybe it was wrong, but she was my way out so I threw my arm over her shoulder. “I guess it’s been a while since we saw each other. But this is my, um, girlfriend, Fern.” Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Fern’s head whip in my direction.

Janice’s mouth dropped open. “Really?”

Gulp. “I wanted to call and tell you, but like you said, somehow I didn’t get your correct number either.”

“I see.” She mustered up a smile. “Well, I’m happy for you both. I suppose I’d better be going.”

I stepped forward and gave her a hug. “You take care of yourself.” As I pulled away, she grabbed my face between her hands and planted her lips on mine for a few seconds before I gently pulled away.

Janice grinned. “You have amazing lips.” She looked at Fern. “You’re a lucky, lucky lady.” With that she turned, walked off the porch, and out of my life forever. I quickly shut the door.

“Sorry about that. If you couldn’t tell, she’s a little?—”

Fern grabbed my face and pressed her lips to mine. Before I could even react, she pulled away and nodded. “Yeah, they’re okay.”

I was blind-sided as I followed her into the kitchen. “Wait, did you just kiss me?”

She waved her hand in the air. “I just wanted to see what the fuss was about.”

“That’s not fair. I didn’t expect it. I’m a great kisser.” My body’s reaction to that split-second kiss was excruciating, I was suddenly willing to chew glass to taste her.

She laughed. “You ready to go eat dinner?”

I felt cheated out of a kiss with the beautiful Fern. “I’m an amazing kisser. Maybe even legendary.”

“Whatever. Sometimes I just don’t think things all the way through. Not the best idea.” She shrugged. “My bad.” She grabbed her purse from the counter. “Are you driving, or am I?”

“No, it’s not whatever .” My mind was still at the front door, reliving the insta-kiss I was screwed out of. But I now knew her hair smelled like coconuts, and her lips tasted like cherry Chap Stick, just like Katie Perry sang about.

She waved her hand in front of my face. “Hello? My tummy is screaming. Are you ready?”

“Sure, I’ll drive.”

We walked into The Cheeky Monkey Bar and Grill where the aroma of onion rings hit me hard. We grabbed a table as Mary Helen moseyed over. Shit, I could not catch a break.

“Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in.”

“Hey, Mary Helen. How are you?”

She tilted her head. “Good. Speaking of good, you’ve been on fire this season.” She looked at Fern and then back to me.

“Thanks. This is Fern. She was dying for some good grub.”

Mary Helen nodded. “Can I get you some menus?”

Fern shook her head. “Not for me. I’ll take the biggest, baddest, cheeseburger you’ve got, onion rings, and a Miller Lite.”

“Got it. Now for the biggest burger, we have the Big Monkey. It’s a mega burger that consists of six burger patties, twelve pieces of bacon, six slices of cheese, and six fried eggs between a bun. If you eat it in forty-five minutes, it’s on the house, and you get your picture on the wall of fame.”

“Whoa.” Fern’s eyes lit up as her mouth made an O. “So it’s like a contest?”

“Yup.” She pointed to me. “I’d even let you two share it.”

Fern slammed her hand on the table. “Hot damn! Yes, we’re in!

Mary Helen nodded. “I’ll be back with your order shortly.” She put a napkin next to my hand and leaned in. “So I guess the back rub you owe me is off the table, huh?” She winked, and I wanted the floor below me to drop.

Fern’s head cocked to the side as her eyes playfully narrowed. “Interesting. How many ladies around this town do you owe things to?” She grinned. “But enough about the waitress. We are totally going to win this.” She clapped her hands together. “And be on the wall!”

I chuckled at the girl who was a little cocky. “Even if we share, you’ll never finish your half.”

Her laugh was evil. “Are you fucking kidding me? I don’t lose. Ever.”

My head shook. “Well, I’d hate to bring up the whole losing guy-dar thing, but?—”

Gasp. “ You have hurt me today, Gabe.” She folded her arms over her perfect chest. “Hey, since we’re waiting for our Big Monkey, how about a game of pool. Twenty bucks?”

I stood up. “Hell, I’ll take that bet. I can beat anyone except?—”

She batted her eyes at me. “Except Dave Novotny, right?” She stood and strutted toward the pool table. “Who do you think got my brother so good at playing pool and taking your money?”

She answered that question by smoking me the first game, but I squeaked out a win in the second before we finished our mega-burger. Man, she could put it away.

Her elbows rested on the table as she pointed at me. “Just for the record, I let you win that second game.”

“Is that right now?” I leaned in. She had a perfect nose, and that close I could see it was sprinkled with little freckles that were almost invisible.

Her eyebrows popped up. “Yes, I was worried if I beat your booty, you might fling yourself right out the damn window.”

“Whatever,” I should’ve sat back in my chair but stayed close. “You seem pretty okay after chowing down on all that beef.”

She wore a cocky grin. “I’m a girl who can handle the beef.” She tried to keep a straight face, but it was a no-go. “That was cringy.”

“Nope. I like a gal who can handle her beef.”

‘Totally cringy.” She finished her beer, and I realized I hadn’t had this much fun talking to anyone in as long as I can remember. The beautiful, kind of tomboy woman in front of me was a unicorn.

The bar had filled up, and a tall woman dressed in skintight jeans and a plaid shirt let out a yell into a microphone.

“Glad everyone is here. I’m Abby Mack, owner of this fine establishment, and tonight our DJ, Bob Cope, will be pumping the tunes.

” The room cheered. “But first, it’s challenge time.

I’ve got some hula hoops here on the dance floor.

If you think you can hula while drinking a beer or two, come on down.

The last one standing wins fifty dollars! ”

Fern jumped up. “Let’s do this!”

“What? I can’t hula hoop.” Her enthusiasm grabbed me.

I stood, and she stepped close as if sharing a secret that could save mankind and whispered, “I can. Do you know how amazing it would be to get a free meal, free beer, and fifty bucks? We’d be like the champions of the whole bar.”

“I must say, I’m a little worried about all that burger you ate and hula hooping. Sounds like a tummy ache brewing.”

She threw her arms in the air. “I’ve got this.” She turned and, if I was seeing things right, shook her ass a little while heading toward the dance floor. She glanced over her shoulder at me. “I would’ve thought a big old hockey player would want to win instead of being a puss.”

She was a magnet so of course I walked up behind her. “I’m not a puss.”

She stopped and turned around, causing me to nearly run her down. “Well, it looks like you’ll be my beer wench while I hula hoop the hell out of this place.”

For the next three minutes and twelve seconds, Fern’s hips had me spinning as she whipped the hoop around while finishing a beer before I handed her a second.

By the time she downed it, she was the last one standing.

Who in the hell was this woman in front of me giving high-fives and fist bumps to the people on the dance floor?

Twenty minutes later, we stood at the bar while the bartender slid over a crisp fifty-dollar bill that was instantly snatched by Fern and tucked into her bra. Now that was cash I wanted to check on later. No! Do not go after any cash!

“Thank you, fine sir.” She shot him a big grin.

He slid a box over toward the champion at my side. “Hey, somebody ordered too many tampons for the bathroom machine. You want ‘em?”

Fern let out a hoot. “Damn straight I do.” She gave me a nod as she started scooping tampons into her coat pockets, and I jumped when she then filled mine. “Winner, winner, chicken dinner.”