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My eyes sought out Fern who I found at a table with dumbass Brandon sitting too close to her.

I went straight to the back of the room to the bar, seeking anything that could stop my fucking hands from shaking.

I’d given up the hard stuff, but beer was okay.

Was there even enough beer to deal with the situation at the table behind me?

I stood there, trying to wrap my mind around the evening that seemed to be swirling quickly down the drain.

What in the hell was I going to do? I glanced over the same time dipshit looked at me so I nodded.

Could he see the fuck you in my eyes? Hoped so.

I fought the urge to hurdle the bar and beat him with a chair, so one point for me.

After minutes of listening to the voice in my head telling me that although kidnapping is illegal, it’s not punishable by the death, I decided to keep that option in my back pocket.

I peered over my shoulder to see Fern walking toward the hall, leaving butt munch at the table alone.

I waited a good five seconds before speed walking across the room and down the hall in the direction she was going.

She entered the ladies room so I stood down the hall, pretending to be texting on my phone. A few minutes later, I heard heels, and when I looked up, she was in slow motion coming toward me. My mind clouded as she looked like she was walking in a music video while she flipped her hair.

A knot formed in my throat as she approached. “Fern, I need to say something to you.”

She smiled. “Really you don’t.” Her head tilted, causing her shiny hair to spill over her shoulder. “Why don’t we just stick to that idea for the rest of the weekend? Okay?”

“No, I don’t like that idea.”

She crossed her arms over her chest. “Well, I don’t really give a flying fuck what you like, Gabe. I heard you loud and clear at the arena, and I now wholly agree with your thoughts on that topic.”

“I see. So everything about us is in the past? And you’ve moved on with your friend?” I used air quotes for friend that I hated but for some reason couldn’t stop myself.

She leaned in, and her perfume swirled around me, instantly bringing the vision of her moving on top of me with her neck just above my face as I kissed and licked.

“That’s none of your business.”

“It sure as hell is my business.” I shoved my hands in my pockets, not quite sure where I was going with this. “I think if you had a boyfriend when you agreed to our weekend pass, well, I should’ve been made aware of that.”

A sly grin slid across those perfectly plump, lightly covered with pink lip-glossed lips. “What difference would that have made? Like you said, it was a day-by-day-thing. Nothing more.”

She was correct, but I didn’t care for her tone. “I had the right to know something like that.”

She let out a soft laugh, started walking, and lightly swatted my arm. “Whatever.”

I spun around to watch her and the dress that highlighted her perfect backside as she disappeared down the hallway. Well, that did not go as I’d hoped.

I returned to the rehearsal dinner, and my laser-focused eyeballs found Fern and dumbass Brandon at the bar. Of course, they were smiling, and I hated him. The only relief I had was the moment I imagined my fist pounding his perfect smile, but it faded fast.

I plopped down at a table next to Katie and Pam.

Pam leaned back in her chair. “Hello, Gabe. How are you?” She pulled at her dress. “This bra is killing me. If I whip it off and toss it into the fake plant, will anyone notice?”

Katie shook her head. “Nope. And I’ll give you five bucks if you do it.”

I scooted my chair in. “Did you see that dude with Fern? He seems weird.” Okay, maybe a little strong.

Pam laughed. “Not weird at all. Kind of dreamy actually.”

Katie giggled. “Yeppers.”

I looked at these two and had a gut feel they would know every detail. “What’s his story?”

Katie leaned up on her elbow. “Fern said they’ve been friends for a long time.” She nudged Pam with her elbow. “With benefits, I hope.”

No, no, no!

Pam snort-laughed. “Let’s get some wine in her so she can fill us in on the filthy details tomorrow.”

Shit! Fern and wine? I knew first-hand what a little liquor could do. It could make her fall into the arms of man she hadn’t intended to. It happened with me…right?

Gary Kirchner, Tawnee’s father, who I’d met a few times, stood and clinked his glass with a spoon.

“Can I have your attention for a moment?” He pulled his wife Ellen to her feet.

“We just wanted to thank you all for being part of Tawnee and Ed’s special day.

In the back of the room is a buffet, and the waiters have placed a bottle of wine at each table that has been paired with dinner. Please enjoy and thank you again.”

Applause, cheers, blah, blah, blah. All I was focusing on was the wine bottle. Brandon the tool stood, extended his hand to Fern, and they walked toward the buffet. My chance.

I hopped up, took a few steps to her table, and swiped the bottle of wine. I shoved it under my suit coat and casually strolled out the room and down the hall. I opened a door to what may have been a janitor or storage closet and deposited the bottle. Bam! No wine for Fern!

I hustled back to the dinner to see a waiter putting another bottle on their table.

Damn it. Realizing this was going to be more challenging than I’d anticipated, I filled up a plate, went to my table, and chewed on my dinner roll.

At the same time, Brandon said something to make Fern throw back her head and laugh.

I wanted to throat punch him so freaking bad so I bowed my head and was going to get it right with the man upstairs.

My only option. I heard Pam clear her throat and popped open an eye to see her and Katie with bowed heads and eyes closed.

Katie cleared her throat. “Dear Lord, thank you for this meal and the union of Tawnee and Ed. Amen.”

They opened their eyes and smiled at me.

Pam nodded. “Thank you, Gabe, for the reminder.”

There you go. I was unintentionally doing good in the world if only for a moment. I shot her a thumbs-up sign.

Dan, Pam, and Katie joined me at the table before Novots and Liv pulled up chairs.

Dave eyed me. “What’s up, Gabe?” He cut his steak, and I knew as well as he did what was up.

“Not much.” If I had to rate my stress level with Dave, I’d say it was pretty close to 2007 Britney.

As he glanced over his shoulder at too slick to trust Brandon, he looked back with a grin on his face.

He’d rather have her with anyone in the universe other than me, his best friend. Or maybe his former best friend.

The energy was being sucked out of me because he was probably correct.

I was an unpredictable wild card like he’d said.

I’d somehow managed to keep the balls of hockey, drinking, and the self-destructive man that was me in the air for a couple of years.

But could it all fall in a split-second?

Rejection from the blue-eyed girl I should’ve never walked away from could push me over the cliff.

Dave knew me better than anyone. And he knew Fern better than anyone.

If he thought I would end up hurting her, maybe I would.

You already did. I looked over at the woman who had flipped everything in me and realized maybe it didn’t matter.

Maybe she was better off with the douche bag, and that’s what was supposed to happen.

I couldn’t be more imperfect for the perfect woman.

As the familiar spiral of bashing myself began, I looked over to see Brandon lightly kiss Fern on the lips. There was heat in my face, but I didn’t know my fist was going to slam on top of the table with such force that a few empty wine glasses would fall to their sides.

I stood, realizing eyes from the tables close by had darted to me. I was a caged animal, watching the only prey I needed to stay alive, be just out of reach. I walked out of the room, needing the Minnesota winter air to freeze everything inside of me.

I paced outside the door with light snow falling just like my spirits.

Ed popped out and headed to me. “Hey, you’re going to freeze out here.”

“Well, maybe if I stand here long enough a snowplow will lose control, fly onto the sidewalk, and put me out of my misery.”

“You sound just like Zig Zigler.” He pulled two cigars out of his pocket. “Here, let’s light one up.”

“Won’t Tawnee miss you?”

“Are you kidding? She’s the bell of the ball in there.” He held up his lighter. “Nobody really gives two shits about the groom. So long as I’m at the end of aisle tomorrow, I’m good.”

“Hard to believe you’ll be a married man. I’m sure the guys will follow suit before we know it.”

“You sound pathetic.” He puffed as a white fluffy cloud of smoke floated through the crisp air.

“This weekend sucks.” I took a drag. “Sorry, not the wedding. Just the Fern part. I can’t believe she’s here with that guy.”

“I know this is tough. You just have to be civil.”

“How am I supposed to be civil to the dude I want to beat with a brick? I screwed the whole thing up. Initially we both were just having fun, but it changed. She came to the arena to say she wanted to see what could happen between us. But let’s face it, my track record with, well, everything is horrible. ”

“I have a question for you. If Novots hadn’t found out, what would you’ve done differently?”

“When she came to talk to me, I would’ve told her I’d do anything to be with her because she’s the most amazing person I’ve ever known.

” My eyes burned. “And I would’ve found a way to talk to Dave instead of him finding out the way he did, thinking of me as a sneak or being shady when it came to Fern.

I fucked this up. I’m out a friend and the perfect girl. ”

He looked up as the snowflakes were coming down a little faster, but there was no wind. It was perfectly still, just like when Fern and I walked down the sidewalk in front of my building.