Page 72 of Wicked Magik

He was the person who helped everyone in the courts understand that the Shadows could bring peace and that the souls dwelling here were not all monstrous. We longed for peace. That was my single wish for this land: for other courts not to be afraid of us.

We could be useful in the night, even if we could not bear the sunlight for too long.

While fated mates were taught to be fiction, there were times I’ve seen the lower classes and their bonding ceremonies look so joyous. Lord and Lordesses not so much.

I’ve seen fae look like they were truly in love, that their souls were really woven together. I would pretend Oryx and I were the same.

Did Oryx and I have that before?

We lived in the upper classes, we weren’t told such stories because we lived in prestige, honor. We had to keep the balance, there was no time for fated mates, we didn’t have that luxury.

I rubbed my chin. Could he have been my fated?

We weren’t taught the signs…

It was difficult to discern my own feelings; my heart was absent, and my soul? How could it possibly be tied to him now? It was shattered to bring him and those around me back to the living plane.

Perhaps this is his second chance at living, and my life has truly died.

“I’ll always love you, Veylor.”

My lip quivered uncontrollably, and I quickly slapped my hand to my face to conceal the telltale sign of my turmoil.

I felt shattered, a chaotic mess of emotions, utterly broken. It was as if I had no heart, no soul left within me. I was unworthy of him, undeserving of even the slightest touch from this woman. A deep-seated hatred simmered inside me—for her, for the fact that she could possess something I would never be able to reach again.

My Oryx deserved… everything. He deserved happiness even if it wasn’t with me.

Was I selfless enough to do such a thing?

Hardly.

For Oryx I could try. It could be better that way, since I have no heart or soul to bind myself to him. Perhaps it was more of a reason why I didn’t spend time with him all these years, because subconsciously I knew I couldn’t connect with him, or anyone. Not anymore.

Movement flittered to my right. The incoming mail basket flashed golden until it died and shadows filled around it. The handwriting was neat, cursive and a return address with Sylvaine’s name written on the back side. I opened it quickly to check the contents.

Veylor,

I’d be happy to check the specimen. I’ll let you know a few days after the next full moon what I find.

I’m delighted to hear from you. I hope this means you are ready to keep our communication open.

Sylvaine

I hummed and put the letter into my desk for safekeeping. While I would back away from Oryx, I will find out who this female is if he is to pursue her. He doesn’t have his mind back completely, and if she is a mate for him, I will know her origins. It would be utterly strange to have a human as a fated mate, to have someone from another realm.

A break from Vesper and time in the library would be more beneficial for the morrow.

But as I lay down on the bed, the scent of her still lingering in my memory, I couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy from Oryx too. I don’t know why I lust after both of them.

I turned on my side, looking out at the night sky. I would push these thoughts aside. I would focus on my plan. I would not let some silly female disrupt my life any more than she already had. But even as I made these promises to myself, I knew it was too late.

She had disrupted my life. She had disrupted everything.

I wouldn’t get my lover back and I would end up alone.

Chapter 24

Vesper