Page 28 of Wicked Games
“You just mentally did air quotes,” Lucien accused. “I can see it on your face.”
“It doesn’t count.”
“Yes, it does,” Lucien countered, lifting a silver dome off one of the plates. “Here’s your burnt-to-a-crisp bacon and cooked-to-death eggs, which is exactly how I ordered it. I hope they’re to your liking.” He recovered the plate then slid it over to me.
I was slightly concerned he was telling the truth, and the meal he described didn’t sound remotely appetizing. “What did you get? So-chewy-it’s-barely-warmed-through bacon with a just-give-it-to-me-raw eggs?”
“I’d love to give it to you raw,love, but you only want us to be professional.”
“You won that point,Lucky, but don’t think you’ll win them all.” I opened my dome and found my breakfast perfectly cooked. “You remembered my love for English muffins.”
“I did, although I’m highly doubtful they’re half as good as the ones you find in Europe.”Elitist snob.“I remembered the orange marmalade too,” Lucien said, pointing to the crystal jar on the tray. “One never forgets the fine details when it matters.”
“And I matter to you?” I asked. My voice was free of anger and derision for once. I sounded…hopeful and uncertain.
“You matter more to me than any person in the world. You may never believe me, but I will not regret the time I had with you. I can only hope you’ll feel the same way about me someday.”
Fuck. That sounded awfully close to goodbye. I realized there was a part of me that always knew I’d cross paths with Lucien again someday because never seeing his face wasn’t a viable option. I just wasn’t sure how to act on those feelings without opening myself up to more heartache. I took a sip of coffee to wash down the lump of sadness lodged in my throat. “I’m ready for answers.”
“I’m ready to give them to you.”
“Start at the beginning,” I instructed, smearing marmalade on one half of my English muffin.
“You’re steering this ship. You ask the questions, and I’ll answer them to the best of my ability.”
“Meaning there will be some you refuse to answer?” I tried not to gag when Lucien cut into his egg and yolk oozed all over his plate.
“There will be some Ican’tanswer because my life isn’t the one at stake.”
“Oh,” I said, unsure of how to process that. “Let’s start there. I assume you didn’t willingly become the Robin Hood of the art world.”
Lucien snorted and nearly shot his orange juice out his nose. “I’m not Robin Hood, Ryder. My actions aren’t noble. And yes, I didn’t willingly enter this line of work.”
“You were recruited?”
“Unwillingly, yes.”
“Is your tenure some type of punishment?” I asked.
Lucien pursed his lips, and I suspected he was trying to think of how he could answer the question without giving away too much. “You could say that.”
“Wouldyousay it?” I set the knife down and focused my attention on him. “Tell me what you can about how you were forced into this…career.”
“Career,” Lucien repeated, looking like he was deciding if he liked the way it tasted on his tongue. “I guess you could say it has been a lucrative career, even if it wasn’t my choice.”
“You’re well-compensated then?” Damn, the bacon was cooked to perfection—crisp without being burnt.
“I am, not that I ever have time off to spend my money,” Lucien said sheepishly. “I’ve seen some beautiful places and met some remarkable people.” The intensity of his gaze made me flush. “I want out, Ryder. I’m tired of traveling. I miss my family. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life alone. I feel like I’m sixty-five instead of thirty-five.”
I hated that Lucien sounded so lonely, but the thought of him growing old with someone other than me ignited the slumbering green monster within. I took a bite of bacon, hoping to appease the beast so I didn’t make a fool of myself like I was prone to do around this man.
“Anyway, here’s what I can tell you about my background. Another lifetime ago, I was once a British SAS officer who fell in love with another SAS officer. I was out to my family, but he wasn’t out to his. We got careless, and photographs were taken and used to ensure my cooperation.” The green monster stirred again. How much had Lucien loved this man? It must’ve been a lot.
“Why you and not him?” I asked, setting my fork down. I knew I wouldn’t be able to eat another bite until I learned more.
Lucien set his fork down also and wiped his mouth with the linen napkin. “Banks knew there was no way he could force this man to work for him, but he could threaten to out the man to keep me under his thumb. He knew I’d do everything I could to protect his reputation.”
“The guy was at risk of losing his family?” I asked. “How selfish was this guy that he thought it was okay for you to sacrifice your life to protect his secret? I don’t get it. Did you love him that much?”