Page 27

CHAPTER 27

Sage

Lord Quill hugged me until my eyes were sore and dry and I was exhausted emotionally, physically, and mentally. Then he cradled me in his arms and sank into the tub.

I curled into him, unable to fight my need to be held, and let the hot water lull me into a hazy, numb state. I let all thought and emotion melt away. I focused only on the warmth relaxing my aching, bruised body and the sure, steady rhythm of Lord Quill’s heart beating beneath my ear.

I wasn’t sure how long he held me. It could have been minutes or hours. I didn’t care. It was the time I needed to just be, where I wasn’t the new arrival, Sawyer Herstind, a human, a fae, a woman, turned on, or anything else. I was just me.

The hazy numbness melted into the warmth of Quill’s embrace and the water, and I felt for the first time in a long time that I could breathe. My fate and everything that had happened still hung around me. I wasn’t miraculously safe in the Garden or the Black Tower, and the vision I saw of my death still haunted me, but I refused to wallow in fear.

Fear wouldn’t get me anywhere and it wouldn’t protect Sawyer.

And Sawyer was my purpose.

I knew taking his place in the Black Guard would endanger my life and had decided in an instant that it was worth it. I still believed that.

Which meant I had to be brave and strong and face the consequences of my actions… even if half the things I was struggling with weren’t because of something I’d done.

Sure, it wasn’t fair. But life wasn’t fair. If it were fair, my parents and my middle brother would still be alive.

At the moment, I couldn’t control waking in the Garden, but I could choose how I reacted, and given that I was soul linked to Sir West, my reaction needed to be as bland and boring as possible.

A loud knock on the bedroom door startled me, and Lord Quill’s grip around me tightened.

“Magister Zinnia has arrived,” Sir West called through the closed door.

“Do you want to see her?” Lord Quill asked, his voice low.

“Yes.” If everyone was going to continue believing I was fae, I needed answers. And since Zinnia knew I grew up in the human realm, she’d be able to help.

“Lady Sage will receive her in a moment,” Quill called back.

He eased me off his lap onto the submerged bench and captured my gaze with his startling green eyes. “You don’t have to talk to her if you don’t want to.”

“I—” I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t tell him I needed to talk with her about how to be a fae woman… would I even be able to talk with her alone?

It had been difficult enough for Lord Quill to get Sir West to stay in the sitting room and close the door. What were the chances both of the men would leave me and Zinnia alone?

“I’d like to discuss my condition.” Maybe that would give us some privacy.

“Of course.” Lord Quill’s gaze dipped to my magicless mating marks. “There should be a robe in the wardrobe.”

He stood, sending the water rushing around his body and drawing my attention to his muscular chest and abs and his semi-hard cock.

Heat burned my cheeks at seeing him naked as well as remembering how I’d jumped him, and I wrenched around to stare at the wall. The sudden movement sent pain rushing through my abused body, and I bit back a groan.

“Let me help you stand,” he said, offering me his hand and thankfully not commenting on my embarrassment or the fact that I looked away from his naked form.

I took it and rose on shaky legs. It was the right call not letting Zinnia completely heal me, but boy was I going to hurt when I returned to my body… and I was not going to think about how time was ticking away, drawing closer and closer to dawn and perhaps my inevitable discovery in the Black Tower.

Quill helped me climb out of the tub and handed me a large, fluffy towel. He didn’t offer to help dry me, as if he knew that would be too much for me, and he didn’t encourage me to face him, letting me keep my back to him.

It was silly to be embarrassed about him seeing me naked. He already had, and he had plenty of time to stare at me while I’d cuddled in his embrace and floated in that hazy numbness, but I couldn’t help myself. I’d only ever been naked with Ash once, and that wasn’t enough to get over years of being told I needed to stay covered.

A flash of color from the corner of my eye caught my attention, and Lord Quill was instantly dressed. He hadn’t even dried off with a towel and didn’t look damp.

Of course if I could change my spirit clothes, I’d probably be able to imagine myself dry and wearing a heavy robe that covered everything.

He wore a green and gold tunic that looked fancier than the ones I’d seen him wear before. The color made his emerald eyes shimmer and for a moment I was at risk of falling into his gaze again. But before I could get caught in whatever magic it was that drew me to him, he strode into the bedroom to a large, intricately carved wardrobe, and pulled out a silky, red robe.

He draped it over my shoulders and for a moment it looked like he wanted to say something, but he jerked away instead and headed to the closed bedroom door.

I secured the robe, making sure it covered all of my sleeping mating marks, and he opened the door. Sir West stepped inside, forcing Lord Quill to take a step back, and Sir West’s sapphire gaze snapped to me in the bathing room’s entrance as if he knew exactly where I was… and with the spirit link, I guess he did.

A shudder teased down my spine, and I tensed, refusing to let it show. I didn’t want anyone knowing where I was at all times and certainly not this monstrous knight who I didn’t know and didn’t trust.

“I wish to speak with Sage about her condition,” Zinnia said from the sitting room. “West, you can wait out here.”

Sir West’s attention jerked to the sitting room and the muscles in his jaw clenched. For a moment, I feared he’d refuse Zinnia. He didn’t look any angrier than he had when he’d first been assigned to guard me, but given that “grim” seemed to be his only expression, I wasn’t sure if I’d know if he was angry or not.

Lord Quill telling him to wait in the sitting room while he helped relieve the pressure from the mating marks had to have pissed him off. Now he was being told to wait in the sitting room again.

I had no doubt Zinnia was going to shut the door between us so we could talk. And if she wasn’t, I was.

It was bad enough Zinnia thought I was a fae slave in the human realm. I couldn’t afford for Sir West to overhear that and for him to tell the High Priestess.

“Magister,” Sir West rumbled and he stormed back into the sitting room.

Zinnia took his place in the doorway. “You, too, Quill.”

The Captain of the White Tower turned to me, his gaze searching mine, the question in his eyes clear. Did I want him to stay?

“It’s all right.”

“I’ll just be on the other side of the door,” he said as he stepped past Zinnia.

She closed the door behind him and gestured to a small seating area by the window.

It was more of a nook with a cushioned window seat covered with soft pillows, and a highbacked, cushioned chair than a conversation area, but it was as far away from the bedroom as we could get without going into the bathing room.

I sat on the window seat and brushed my fingers through the leaves and flowers trailing over the windowsill, watching the delicate white and pink light dance under my touch.

Zinnia drew the chair as close to the window seat as possible before leaning back against its plush cushions.

“How are you holding up?” she asked, her voice low.

“Better. Steadier.” Grateful she didn’t ask why I was alone in the bedroom with Lord Quill while Sir West had been banished to the sitting room.

Although she’d probably already figured everything out. Fae were more open about sex than humans and she’d warned me that I’d experience spikes of desire while I waited for the magic that put my mating marks to sleep to settle.

And that wasn’t the point of this conversation. I needed to stay focused and learn about all the things I didn’t know.

“Good. Give me your hand so I can assess your injuries and mating marks.”

“Nothing has changed.” I peeled back the neck of my robe just enough to show her my magicless marks. As for my injuries, my cheek still hurt, so I assumed the bruise was forming nicely and would be a brilliant purple by morning.

She tsked and held out her hand. “Humor me.”

Fine. I placed my hand in hers, but instead of the warmth of her magic sinking beneath my skin, she tightened her grip and met my gaze.

“I can get you out of the human realm and protect that child.”

I wrenched my hand out of hers, my pulse suddenly racing. “I can’t leave.”

“Not even if I assure you there’ll be no repercussions for you, and that the child will be safe and cared for?” A strange expression flitted across Zinnia’s face, but it was so fast I wasn’t sure what it meant.

“No. I told you.”

She didn’t know what she was saying, and she certainly didn’t know that she couldn’t rescue me from the human realm because I was actually a human. It was the fae realm where I didn’t belong.

“It’s complicated.” I’d already explained that to her.

I’d thought when I said that I’d tell her the minute I could leave I would that she’d believed me, but I also couldn’t deny how terrible the situation looked from her perspective.

If I were in her position, I’d want to rescue the abused woman and child, and I’d be willing to risk the wrath of an entire nation to do so.

Of course, I already was risking more than one nation’s wrath. Taking Sawyer’s place in the Black Guard subverted the lottery and the punishment would be severe.

“I know how it looks. But you have to trust me. It won’t be forever. I can handle the human realm.” I grabbed her hand, capturing it between both of my palms, and met her gaze. “I don’t know if I can handle the fae realm. I don’t know how to behave or what to be wary of.”

It would be best if I could figure out how to stop manifesting in the Garden when I went to sleep, and I could only pray that would stop happening now that Zinnia had removed the magic from my mating marks.

But I couldn’t count on that.

I had to assume I was always going to end up in the Garden and plan accordingly. And if my nightly visits stopped, I’d consider that a happy accident.

Even if a small part of me wept at the thought.

A part I didn’t want to look too closely at.

No, what I needed was to focus on the most immediate problems, and the biggest one — pun absolutely intended — was Sir West and the spirit link that the High Priestess had forced on us.

I huffed in frustration. It was ridiculous that the men who’d attacked me and escaped, who could still be plotting to kidnap me again and force me to bond with them, were now my second biggest problem.