Page 11

CHAPTER 11

Sage

“Stop. Please.” I tried to draw my hand away from Zinnia but she held tight.

My panic squeezed my insides. I couldn’t let her completely heal me. I had to keep some of my injuries even if my new ones could give me away. The new one would be easier to explain than the missing bruise on my cheek.

“No. That’s enough.” I wrenched my hand free and hugged it to my chest, afraid she’d reach for it and continue healing me. Her magic vanished in a flash, sending a chill rushing through me.

She jerked back and stiffened. “I haven’t finished.”

“That’s ah… That’s all right.” I grabbed the blanket bunched at my waist and pulled it up to my neck. “I’m sure you’ve healed me enough. You should save your magic in case someone else needs you.”

So far she hadn’t mentioned anything about me being human and my cheek still hurt. I could only pray I’d have a bruise when I woke.

“I’m not sure there’s anyone else who’ll need me more,” Zinnia replied.

“Well, I—” How did I convince her I needed the bruise on my face. I couldn’t tell her I’d get in trouble if it was gone. Fae women were supposed to be precious and if Zinnia told Ash, he’d think I was being abused.

Shit shit shit.

He was going to think something was up if I stepped out of this bedroom and wasn’t completely healed.

“Sage,” Zinnia said, her tone gentle as if she were afraid to scare me. “I’m a master healer. I’m not beholden to anyone except the High Priestess. I’ve taken vows of secrecy. Unless you give me your permission, whatever happens, whatever you tell me, stays between us.”

I met her milky blue gaze, desperate to figure out if I could trust her… desperate to trust her.

“I’m not supposed to be here,” I said carefully.

“And you’re supposed to have a bruise on your cheek,” she replied, just as carefully.

“Yes.”

“And you don’t know that when I heal a spirit, I can’t completely heal the physical body.” She frowned. “You’ve been raised in the human realm, haven’t you? You’re still there.”

“Yes.” There was no point in denying it. It was the most logical explanation for why I was clueless and had a bruise on my physical body.

“It’s illegal for humans to have fae slaves.” She leaned forward, her hands pressed against the mattress beside me. “I can send someone to get you. You don’t have to stay where you are.”

My pulse lurched. I couldn’t let her send people to rescue me. “I can’t leave. I?—”

“You absolutely can leave,” she shot back, her expression turning fierce. “They’re hurting you and haven’t taught you anything about your people.”

“Please.” I grabbed her hands. “I can’t leave just yet. I’m?—”

Come on. Think of something that will get her to back off.

“I’m protecting someone. A human child.” Surely it would be illegal for the fae to kidnap a human child even in the name of protecting them. “I’m all he has and I can’t leave until I know he’s safe.”

Zinnia’s gaze captured mine and I met her head on. As much as I wanted to look away, bow to her greater status, I needed to stand firm. I had to protect Sawyer.

“You’ll tell me the moment he’s safe?”

“I will,” I lied.

I was going to avoid Zinnia as much as possible. Sure, she said she wouldn’t tell anyone, but that didn’t mean someone couldn’t overhear our conversations.

My attention jumped to the bedroom door, still closed tight.

“You’re also going to need to do something about your marks,” Zinnia said. “They’re fully awakened, and you need to ease the compulsion. I’m actually surprised you’ve held out this long.”

I ducked my head, my cheeks heating.

“So you’ve tried to ease the compulsion, but your marks are still filled with power,” Zinnia said, realizing right away from my blush that I’d been intimate with someone lately.

Who was I kidding? She probably knew from how Ash and I were cuddling when she’d walked in that it was Ash who’d help me relieve the pressure.

“You seem close with Ash,” she added, confirming my fear that she knew who I was blushing over. “He’s kind and protective. He’d make a good mate.”

My blush deepened, rushing down my neck to swirl into the heat radiating from my marks. I didn’t want a mate, but if it was Ash, maybe it would be all right. I’d felt safe with him from the moment we’d met and a part of me knew he wouldn’t be angry when he learned I was human.

“That said… if you can’t leave the human realm right now,” Zinnia continued, “a mate would make things difficult.”

“Yes,” I agreed. “But what can I do?”

I still craved sex, needed it desperately, and I knew that feeling was going to follow me into the Gray.

I supposed I could have sex with a fae man who didn’t have magic, but would I feel safe with him? Payne, one of my few possible friends in the Black Tower, had said a man without magic hadn’t been bonded in a long time, but that didn’t mean it couldn’t happen.

And with the spell Wells had cast on me added with my current luck, I’d be bonded with the first man I had actual intercourse with whether he had magic or not.

“There’s an unnatural magic exacerbating the power in your marks,” Zinnia said. “I can’t stop the magic. You’ll need a spell magister to unravel it from your essence, but I can at least put your marks to sleep.”

I opened my mouth to agree, but Zinnia held up a finger, stopping me.

“There are risks.” Her expression turned grim. “I don’t know when they would reawaken and I won’t be able to reawaken them for you. There’s also a possibility that your marks won’t ever reawaken. Meaning you may never be able to find your mates and bond with them.”

A strange sadness rippled through me at the thought, but I quickly shoved it away. I shouldn’t regret something I wasn’t supposed to have. I was human, and humans didn’t create mate bonds with their spouses.

“Do it.” I held out my hand. “Put my marks to sleep. I’m not ready for a mate.”

Zinnia’s expression turned worried.

“I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready,” I added, hoping she wouldn’t try to talk me out of it. “Not after what happened.”

The worry turned to sadness and she took my hand. “I understand.”

Once again, Zinnia’s magic swept up my arm in a powerful rush, but instead of turning to a comforting warmth that radiated through my whole body, the heat chilled and headed to the spots curling around my neck and into my cleavage.

I shivered, the cold seeping into me, and tried to relax. It would be over soon, and I wouldn’t have to worry about being mate bonded with anyone. I could just worry about keeping my secret and staying alive.

The desire radiating through me shuddered once… twice… before flaring stronger and making my eyes roll back. My breathing picked up and the ache in my core burned with need.

A moan bubbled in my throat, and I clenched my jaw, trying to keep it contained, but it slipped out, a gurgled, mangled sound of pleasure and pain.

Zinnia huffed and her grip on my hand tightened. Her cool magic snapped to bone-freezing cold and pounded into me, no longer just focused on my marks.

Another moan escaped, this one all pain.

“Just breathe through it,” Zinnia hissed through clenched teeth.

Shivers wracked my body, stealing my breath and making my teeth chatter. Red and pale blue light radiated from my mating marks, clashing against each other sending sparks flying around me and shooting pain through my chest.

“Just… a little… more.” Zinnia squeezed her eyes closed and an icy wave of magic slammed into me.

The red and blue light exploded with a blinding brilliance, blacking out my vision and flooding me with frozen, screaming agony.

I clenched my jaw, refusing to scream — because that would make the guys rush into the room — and collapsed back against the pillows propping me up in the bed.

The cold slowly bled away and the darkness in my vision thinned and vanished. Exhaustion flooded my veins and the room seemed dimmer than before.

Everything was dimmer… and colder.

I glanced at my cleavage. The light was gone, and the mating marks were plain, magicless red spots on my skin. Except…

Was that one green?

And there! There was another one that looked green.

Why weren’t they all red like they’d been before? Was that part of the spell?

Except Zinnia stared at my neck in shock, and the panic I was struggling to keep at bay surged.

“It’s all right,” Zinnia said, her expression snapping to what was supposed to be a comforting neutral as if I hadn’t just seen her surprise. “When your marks change from your hair color to your eye color it means you’ve created a mate bond. But?—”

“I’ve created a what!” I squeaked.

I couldn’t be bonded with someone. I was human. I couldn’t make bonds.

Who the hell was I bonded to?

“But,” Zinnia said more firmly, “it just might be a side effect of putting your marks back to sleep.” Her expression softened. “It could also mean the Goddess has blessed you with your first mate but knows you aren’t ready yet. I can’t sense magic in any of your marks, even the green ones, so the connection?—”

I opened my mouth to deny that possibility. There was no connection. There’d never be a connection.

Oh, Great Father! What if there was a connection?

“If there is a connection,” Zinnia said, “it’s still asleep.”

“So that means…?”

“Whoever your first mate is… And I’m not saying you actually have one. He won’t be aware that the Goddess has bonded your souls together,” Zinnia said. “That will only happen once the magic in your marks reawakens.”

Oh, Father. Please don’t let my marks ever reawaken.

“I’m hoping this is a good sign,” Zinnia added. “It means in the future, when you’re safe, you’ll be able to find your mates and live a happy life.”

“Yeah,” I mumbled back, trying my best to feign happiness at the thought.

Except, from Zinnia’s expression, I’d failed miserably.

“The Goddess wouldn’t bond you with someone you didn’t trust. She only makes bonds when the spark of true love can blossom.”

Except the Goddess hadn’t stopped Wells from forming a mating bond with me, and I wasn’t sure I trusted the fae’s Goddess.

I wasn’t sure I trusted anyone at the moment.

“Now,” Zinnia said, her tone still gentle, but definitely back to business. “You might feel strange and still desire a physical release for a while. You’ve been accustomed to the warmth and heightened arousal from the marks, but soon you’ll feel like you did before your marks awakened.”

As she spoke a shiver of heated desire slid down to my core, reminding me that despite my lifeless mating marks, I was still somewhat aroused.

“How long until it goes away?”

“I don’t know,” she replied. “The number of recorded cases of someone putting their marks back to sleep can be counted on one hand… and that includes you. It could be hours or days. If it’s longer than a few months you should see me again.”

“A few months?” I could still have heightened arousal for a few months?

“Your body needs time to adjust. You might also experience flare-ups. But unless your marks are radiating light you won’t be able to create a bond.”

Or another bond.

I closed my eyes. Trying to focus on how the situation was good.

I could sleep with whoever I wanted and I wouldn’t trap an unwitting fae man into mate bonding with me.

Except it felt like something essential had been ripped out of me. Even terrified that I already had a mate, a small part of me wept that he might never acknowledge me.

That I’d be alone. Forever.

But that was just because I’d gotten used to the marks. Nothing more.

Maybe this means I’ll stop waking in the Garden every time I go to sleep?

A part of me was thrilled at the prospect. I wouldn’t have to worry about men attacking me or trying to avoid Lord Rider and the others. I could focus on keeping my identity in the Black Tower a secret and give my brother as much time as possible to get away.

But another part of me ached at the thought. I wouldn’t be able to meet with Ash again, wouldn’t feel the comfort of being protected in his arms, or the pure bliss that swept through me every time he made me come.

A sharp knock on the door jolted me from my thoughts and I scrambled to pull the blanket up to my neck to cover my mating marks. The door creaked open, but not wide enough for me to see who was on the other side.

Zinnia straightened, her pale blue robe rustling softly, and met my gaze. I could see the question in her eyes: did I want whoever it was to come in?

I nodded. I couldn’t avoid the guys forever, and I didn’t want to be excluded from the investigation. I needed to know just how dangerous my situation was.

“We’re finished here,” she said. “You may come in.”

The door swung open fully and Lord Quill stepped into the room.

Something zinged through me. It was the same feeling I got every time we touched, except now we were currently a room apart.

Was he my newly bonded mate?

“Thank you, Zinnia,” Lord Quill said, before turning his attention to me. “The High Priestess has learned about the attack. She’s summoned everyone involved.”

“Everyone?” I’d hoped by telling Onyx everything, I wouldn’t have to face anyone else, especially not someone as powerful as the High Priestess, the woman who ruled all the fae.

“Everyone,” Lord Quill confirmed, his expression grim.