Page 35

Lilly

When I hear shouting coming from downstairs, I squint my eyes at my closed bedroom door. I know for a fact it’s not my dad arguing with my step-mom Sabrina—they’re two loved up teenagers so in love, even after all these years. Plus, she’s currently at the store grabbing some snacks.

So who the fuck is he arguing with?

Standing from my bed, I trip over some clothes that are scattered around and groan, shoving them to the side with my foot, I open my bedroom door and make my way downstairs.

Once I’m halfway down, I understand why he’s shouting. The wicked witch of the west’s voice cuts through his, sounding screechy, and so goddamn annoying.

Ugh, kill me now.

“—the ungrateful fucking bitch?”

Who the fuck is she talking about?

Stepping beside dad, I see Elizabeth standing at the bottom of the steps that l ead up to the porch, her face beet red from shouting.

“Ahhh, there she is,” she grimaces, taking in my attire. “Are you homeless? Why the fuck are you dressed like that?”

It’s the day after Thanksgiving, and I’d eaten enough turkey and stuffing to fuel me for weeks. And today is the day we all relax, eat leftovers, and stuff our faces with pumpkin pie and an assortment of other snacks. So, I was wearing my lilac Sweats with a white T-shirt. Nothing about what I was wearing screamed homeless, if anything, it screamed comfort.

But of course, compared to Elizabeth who probably went to sleep in a ball gown and a full face of make-up, I looked homeless in her eyes.

“As you can see,” I gesture with my hands, showcasing the house. “Not homeless.”

“I texted you and told you that you were to make an appearance yesterday.” She hisses, walking further up the steps.

“Didn’t see any text.” I totally did, and I ignored it.

“Kyle and his parents came over,” she says. “And I had to lie to them and tell them you had the flu, that’s why you weren’t there,” she pushes away a strand of her blonde hair that’s blowing in her face. “Do you know how embarrassing that was, to lie to them?”

“Oh, I can only imagine.” I roll my eyes.

“Do you even know why they were there?” She growls.

“Couldn’t care less, to be fair.” No, really, I couldn’t.

“You have to go and ruin things for me, like always.” She takes a step closer.

“Yeah?” I give an amused chuckle, playing her at her own game and taking a step across the threshold. “What is it that I’ve ruined now?”

I ruin things? Me? Ha. H ilarious.

She takes another step forward, her face becoming more evil than usual as she utters out the words. “I wish you were never born.”

That was like a shot to the heart.

Did my own flesh and blood, the woman who carried me for thirty-eight weeks, the woman who birthed me…did she just really say that to me?

In all fairness, that shouldn’t come as a shock to me…and I hate to admit it, but those words hurt.

“Wait, hold up now,” Dad shakes his head, walking up beside me and wrapping a protective arm around my waist. “Her being born was the best fucking thing to ever happen between us.”

“And the worst thing to ever happen to me.” Elizabeth grimaces.

“You think I care?” I ask, looking her up and down. “Because I don’t. I always knew you were a bitch, Elizabeth. But now you’re a raging cunt and I want nothing more to do with you. Leave this property before I call the cops on you for trespassing.”

I’m out of breath by the time I say all of that to her, but what I expect in return doesn’t come, instead a sharp pain dulls my cheek and when I look up, I realize she’d slapped me across the face.

I gasp lifting my hand to soothe the pain. What the fuck? She’d hit me before—only once—not that that’s an excuse, but I never thought she’d have the nerve to do it again.

“Get the fuck off my property, Elizabeth,” Dad growls, taking a step forward. “How dare you hit my daughter!”

“Nothing she didn’t deserve.” Elizabeth responds with a shrug, looking as far from apologetic as you could possibly get.

Dad grips her arm, making her cry out in pai n. But did I feel sympathy for her? Ha, did I fuck. I watch as he shoves her down the gravel drive until they’re standing by her car and then he pushes her, making her fall to the ground, and cry out even more.

He’s shouting at her, but I can’t quite seem to figure out what he’s saying. With how hard she slapped me, my ears are ringing.

My chest feels tight, and I could barely breathe.

Breathe, Lilly .

Collapsing to the ground, my breath come out in short, frantic gasps.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Looking down at my hands, they shake uncontrollably as I try my hardest to breathe. I tried to steady myself, but the panic is too overwhelming. It feels like I’m drowning, like my head was just below the surface and I was trying to reach out to grasp a sliver of oxygen.

Breathe, Lilly.

The 5-4-3-2-1 rule runs through my mind.

Five things I can see …my hands, the gravel, dad’s car, my car, and the rose bush.

Four things I can touch …the rails on the stairs, the front door, the hammock on the porch, and the gravel.

Three things I can hear …dad shouting at Elizabeth, the gravel crunching, and my heartbeat.

Two things I can smell …vanilla, and Sabrina’s perfume.

One thing I can taste …copper.

“Hey, hey, sweetie,” Sabrina’s soft voice filters through my ears. Her arms wrap around me, and her thumb soothes over my damp cheeks. “Lilly, sweetie.”

Fuck, when did I start crying? And why does my mouth taste like blood?

“Hey, breathe, Lilly. Breathe,” she takes a deep breath in, holding it for a few seconds before releasing it. “Follow my lead, okay, sweetie?”

I can’t speak, but I nod, following the movements of her breathing.

My chest feels tight, like someone is squeezing the life out of me.

I’m so pathetic.

So, so, so fucking pathetic.

But Sabrina, whose been more a mom to me than Elizabeth ever was, always knows how to calm me in a panic. She and dad met the year following his divorce with Elizabeth, and I’m forever thankful she’s the mother figure I look up to.

“That’s it, sweetheart. You’re doing good.” Her hand interlocks with mine and she squeezes tight.

“Baby,” Dad’s large figure wraps around both Sabrina and me, his large hand rubbing down my back, trying to console me. “Breathe, Lil, you’re okay. We’re here. Daddy is here darling, okay? I’m not going anywhere.”

I sob uncontrollably.