Page 17

Greyson

Not a word has been spoken, nor a breath breathed—that’s what it feels like anyway.

Rubbing a hand down my face frustratedly, I decide to give us both the answer and walk away. What the fuck was I even thinking asking her to tutor me in sex in the first place when all she wanted was her dick of an ex boyfriend to leave her alone.

I’d never had this feeling before, the feeling of knowing when someone is the one. But when we walked into my bedroom earlier, my mind was screaming at me, telling me she’s the one that’s going to guide me through this new adventure. We don’t even know each other, yet despite the uncertainty, I couldn't shake the feeling that she was meant to be a pivotal part of my journey, even if I couldn't quite understand why.

And now, as she stands frozen to the ground, I scold myself for asking in the first place.

Fucking stupid.

“Just forget about it.” Shaking my head, I take a step toward the door to leave.

“No, wait!” She grips my elbow with her hand, halting my movements.

I stop, glance down at her hand on my elbow before slowly lowering my gaze to the floor. “It’s embarrassing.” I confess, in a low, inaudible whisper.

“What is?” She asks, her voice is soft as her thumb grazes across my arm. I don’t know if it’s deliberate or not, but it feels nice.

“Admitting to someone that I’m a virgin at twenty one.” I sigh.

I’ve never confessed it to anyone before, not even my best friends. With the amount of dates I used to go on, they probably thought I was getting laid every time, but that was far from the truth.

She’s silent, and I lift my head to look at her, and regret it almost immediately. Her big blue eyes are looking back at me, but they’re not looking at me with embarrassment, or even judgment like I expected...but with respect, and something else my mind can’t seem to figure out in the moment.

“There’s nothing wrong with being inexperienced at twenty one.” She whispers.

“I haven’t even touched a girl before.” I confess.

It seems all I’ve been doing tonight is confessing things I never have before.

She blinks. “You’ve never fingered a girl before, or even eaten her out?”

“I’m a virgin, Lilly.” I give her a deadpan look.

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean you haven’t done forep lay before.” She shrugs.

“Well, I haven’t.”

“But you’ve watched porn, right?” She wiggles her eyebrows.

I scoff, letting out a laugh. “Of course I’ve watched porn, couldn’t even count the number of times I’ve jerked myself off.” In the last month alone, but I don’t say that part aloud.

“So, you know how your cock works,” she smirks. “Which is a great start.”

She’s humorous…I like that.

“I’m starting to regret asking you to do this.” I say with a small smile on my face, not actually meaning it.

“You’ve kissed a girl before, right?”

I take a deep breath in. “I mean, technically…”

Taking her hand off my arm, she steps backward and looks at me confused. “What the fuck do you mean technically ?”

“Technically you were my first kiss,” I confess, rubbing the nape of my neck awkwardly. “Although, that wasn’t really much of a kiss,” It was more a brush to the lips. “But yeah, you’re the first girl I’ve ever technically , but not technically kissed.”

“Oh, fuck!” She gasps, pacing across the room again. “I took your first kiss!” She hisses, more to herself than me. “I’m such a fucking idiot, Greyson,” turning to face me, she tugs at her hair. “I kissed you, and you… holy fuck ,” her eyes soften as she looks at me. “I’m so sorry for taking away your first kiss.”

Fuck, she looks cute when she’s stressed.

“Lilly, I’m literally asking you to tutor me in all things sex related,” I laugh, running my hand through my hair. “And you’re sorr y you took my first kiss?”

She stops and looks at me. “But a first kiss, it’s meant to be special, meaningful. It’s—”

“It’s just a kiss.” I cut her off.

“Yeah, but—”

“Just a kiss, Lil-Bug.” I repeat.

She sighs, chewing at her lip. “But I can still feel guilty.”

Inhaling a breath, I walk closer, grab her hand and place it in mine. “I don’t want you to feel guilty, not when I’m asking you to tutor me in sex.”

Looking up at me with soft eyes, she purses her lips. “We’ll have to establish some rules.”

“You’ll do it?” I blink at her.

She nods her head, a soft smile grazing her lips. “I’ll do it.”

Grinning, I wrap my arms around her and lift her from the floor spinning us around, making the cutest giggles escape her lips.

“Ugh, Lil-Bug, I could kiss you right now!” I grin, placing her back down onto her feet.

What the fuck?

I glance at her, half expecting her to laugh it off, or to look away. But she doesn’t. She looks at me through her lashes and moves a strand of hair away from her face. “Then do it.” She whispers, her voice barely more than a breath.

My heart pounds in my chest, louder than any hockey game I’ve played. Louder than any noise I’ve ever heard. Am I really about to do this…kiss her?

Leaning down, I place my palm against her cheek, praying it’s not sweaty and lean in. Our lips meet, and everything seems to fade away. It’s soft at first, like the calm ocean on a summer’s day, but then it deepens, and becomes something more.

My free hand finds its way to her waist, pulling her closer to me. And for the first time I understand why people say they feel fireworks. It’s not a spark, it’s an explosion lighting up every corner of my mind.

I’ve envisioned many times what my first kiss would feel like, but not once did any of those fantasies in my mind live up to the real thing.

Her tongue traces my bottom lip, sending shivers down my spine, and my eyelids flutter at the sensation. It’s as if every nerve in my body is alive, electrified by her touch. And I crave more.

But it’s over too soon, and we pull apart, gasping for air.

“Are you sure you haven’t kissed anyone before?” She breathlessly asks, her eyes searching my face.

“I’m a terrible fucking kisser, aren’t I?” I let go off her waist, taking a hesitant step backward.

Of course I am, I've never kissed anyone else before, therefore, I don't have any experience…which means I'm a terrible fucking kisser.

“No,” she shakes her head giggling. “I was expecting more washing machine, but that… seriously, you’ve never kissed anyone but me before?”

“You’re the only one.” I confirm.

“Wow,” she blows out a breath, her cheeks puffing out. “Had I not known that, I totally wouldn’t have even thought it.”

“I’m that much of a good kisser then, huh?” I grin.

Okay, reel it in Greyson.

“Nah, I lied,” she’s trying not to smile, but I can see the corner of her lips tilting up. “You’re a terrible kisser.”

“Is that so?” I muse, lifting my hand to move a strand of hair away from her face.

“Hmm.” She licks her lips, and my eyes trail the movement.

“Well,” I whisper, closing the distance between us. “Tell me how this is for a kiss.” I connect our lips together once again.

And I decided in that moment that Lilly Jackson is going to ruin me, and I’m completely okay with that.