Page 47 of When People Leave

Morgan

M organ hated being late. She rushed up to Carla’s front door, breathing heavily as if she had run from the airport. Unaware that Abby was opening the door, Morgan pushed it hard. Abby jumped back to avoid getting hit in the face.

“Jeez, Morgan,” Abby said.

“I’m sorry,” Morgan said, dragging her suitcase inside the house.

“My flight sat on the tarmac for three hours in Oregon. Some idiot locked himself in the bathroom and kept saying he wouldn’t come out until he was bumped up to first class.

I don’t get why he didn’t tell the gate agent that it was his birthday, so if they have an extra seat, he’d appreciate getting upgraded. ”

Abby hugged her and said, “Well, you’re here now.

“Morgan, does that tactic work?” Charlie asked as she wrapped a vase in bubble wrap.

“Yes, I’ve had three birthdays this year.” Morgan pulled her suitcase into the corner of the living room and then took in the sea of moving boxes. “Thanks for getting started on all this.”

“No problem,” Abby said. “But we’ve still got a lot more to pack.”

“And we don’t much time before the painters come.” Charlie said.

Abby took a framed print of Starry Night off the wall. “Does anyone want the pretend Van Gogh?” she asked.

“I don’t, but I’ll take the pretend Monet. I love Water Lilies ,” Charlie said, pulling a different painting off the wall.

Morgan surveyed all the empty wall space. “This is depressing,” she said.

Charlie picked up three bronzed baby shoes off the side table. “I can’t believe Mom kept these.”

“I don’t get why she had them made in the first place,” Morgan said. “I doubt we’d get anything for them at our garage sale.”

“You never know,” Abby said, putting a few candles in a box “The last time I had a yard sale, some woman wanted only one of my garden gloves. Then another woman heard her and asked if she could buy the other one. I made seventy-five cents apiece.”

“How do you think Mom would feel about us selling so many of the things she worked hard for?” Morgan said.

“I doubt she thought about it when she killed herself,” Charlie said.

Morgan’s throat constricted as if a piece of food had gotten lodged inside. “I just want to get all this behind us,” she said, taking two table lamps to the garage. Abby and Charlie followed her, carrying a box filled with once-treasured knick-knacks.

“Charlie, what is Collin up to while you’re here?” Abby asked as they headed back inside to pack more boxes.

“Collin? What’s a Collin?” Morgan asked.

“A guy I’ve been seeing,” Charlie said.

“You’re dating someone, and I haven’t heard anything about him,” Morgan said.

“I told Abby before you got here,” Charlie said. “If you weren’t late, you would’ve heard the whole story.”

“Early bird gets the gossip,” Abby said. “Charlie thinks he’s the one.”

“Don’t you think you’re buying the food before getting the refrigerator, Charlie?” Morgan asked.

“When you know, you know,” Charlie said.

“Then how do you explain the eleven years you spent with Rick?” Morgan asked, heading to the kitchen. Charlie and Abby grabbed empty boxes and followed her. Morgan pulled out the blender, a food processor, and some pots and pans and placed them on the counter.

“I’m a slow learner,” Charlie said.

“I knew right away with Alex,” Abby said, grabbing some crackers from the cabinet.

“Hey, hand me some of those,” Charlie said. “I’m starving.” Abby held the box out to Charlie, who stuffed a few in her mouth, the crumbs escaping and falling onto the floor.

“Can you two stop snacking and start helping?” Morgan asked.

Charlie and Abby each ate another cracker, then opened cabinets and piled baking pans, platters, and the waffle maker on the countertop. Morgan rushed to get everything into boxes before they ran out of room on the counter and had to heap things onto the floor.

Hours later, moving boxes filled the garage, and the kitchen was empty except for what they’d need for the next few days. Morgan wiped the counters down.

“I’ll get the vacuum,” Morgan said, heading to the hall closet.

Charlie and Abby went into the living room. While Charlie took the framed photos off the bookshelves, Abby arranged the books by color, and Morgan began to vacuum. The vacuum’s low hum echoed off the empty walls. First, Morgan went over the hardwood floor and then pushed the vacuum onto the rug.

“Can you guys help me move the couch?” Morgan asked. “I hope Albert’s hair hasn’t mixed with the dust bunnies and created a new creature.”

Charlie and Abby each took a side of the couch.

“One, two, three, lift,” Morgan said. Charlie and Abby grunted as they pulled it onto the hardwood floors.

Abby reached down, picking up something on the carpet. “I just found a Lego,” she said,

holding it up. “Oh, cool. It’s my mini figure of Yoda. I always wondered where that went.” She blew the dust off it.

“Mom couldn’t have moved this couch in years,” Charlie said.

Morgan noticed a small piece of blank paper lying on the ground.

She picked it up, turned it over, and immediately recognized her mother’s writing, although it was messier than usual.

As Morgan read to herself what was on the paper, her face went slack, and she began to cry. Abby and Charlie stared at her.

“What’s the matter?” Abby asked.

Morgan couldn’t say anything; she just kept crying.

“Morgan?” Charlie’s hand shook as she took the paper away from Morgan. Tears streamed down Charlie’s cheeks as she scanned what was written.

“What is it?” Abby asked.

“It’s a suicide note,” Morgan said, finally getting the words out.

“Oh my God,” Abby said, taking the note from Charlie and reading it out loud.

My dear, sweet daughters, by the time you read this, you probably already know I’ve been lying to you about your father.

I lied to him, too. He didn’t have any clue that I was pregnant with Abby when I took you and ran away.

I am so sorry for all the damage I caused in your lives by not letting you have your father.

I know that the three of you will be so angry at me that you’ll cut me out of your life, and I don’t blame you, but I can’t live with that.

I’d rather disappear than be on this earth knowing my girls hate me.

I love you all so much and I’m sorry for all the pain I caused.

Abby barely got through the final sentence before she began sobbing.

“I didn’t think I had any more tears in me,” Abby said.

Morgan handed her a tissue, and she blew her nose. “So, Brian is my father,” Abby said.

“I’m glad,” Morgan said.

Charlie’s crying stopped. “Mom makes it sound like she had no choice, but she always had a choice. She could’ve told us the truth; the lie wasn’t worth ending her life over.”

“Didn’t she know we would’ve forgiven her if she’d been honest with us?” Morgan asked.

“She thought it was too late,” Abby said.

“It’s never too late,” Morgan said. “We would’ve been mad, but we would’ve gotten through it. There’s no way we would have stopped speaking to her.”

“I guess she didn’t trust that,” Abby said.

“How could she not know how much we loved her,” Charlie said.

Morgan sat down on the couch. “Part of me feels sorry for Mom,” she said.

“I don’t,” Charlie said. “She made life-changing choices for us.”

“And that was wrong, but when Brian found her after all that time, she must’ve felt trapped,” Morgan said. “And then he threatened her.”

“If Alex hid my kids from me for thirty years, I’d go far beyond threatening him,” Abby said.

“I agree with Abby,” Charlie said. “Not being a good husband is different than him being a bad father. When we turned eighteen, we should’ve been able to decide whether we wanted contact with him.”

“Exactly. Mom left him; we didn’t,” Abby said. “My entire life I thought he abandoned us after I was born. That royally screwed me up in so many ways,” Abby kicked a box.

“Mom thought she was protecting us from him,” Morgan said.

“Why are you defending her?” Charlie asked.

Morgan shrugged. “I can’t be mad at her for doing what she thought was right. Besides, she’s dead, so it’s stupid for us to be angry.”

“Are you saying we’re stupid to feel pissed off and betrayed?” Charlie said.

“Just because you can pretend things didn’t happen doesn’t mean we can,” Abby said.

“We can’t change what Mom did. We need to move on,” Morgan said.

“Yeah, you’ve always been good at running away from problems,” Charlie said.

“How dare you?” Morgan said.

“That’s why you got drunk,” Charlie said. “So, you wouldn’t have to deal with anything.”

“Don’t think you can analyze me just because you’re a therapist,” Morgan said.

“I don’t have to be a therapist to recognize the toll your drinking took on our family,” Charlie said. “It used to make me so mad how Mom would always clean up your messes. I told her she should let you hit rock bottom, but she was sure she could help you.”

“I never asked her to help,” Morgan said, her voice rising.

“Well, you got her attention,” Charlie said.

“She was always taking care of you,” Abby said. “She forgot to pick me up from elementary school once because she got called to come to your school when you showed up drunk. And she had to leave in the middle of two high school plays I starred in to get you from the police station.”

“And she almost missed my grad school commencement when you disappeared for two days, and she couldn’t find you,” Charlie said.

“I didn’t know that,” Morgan said.

“Because you were too drunk to notice or care how you were affecting us,” Charlie said.

“I need some air,” Morgan said, picking up her phone and keys and walking toward the front door.

“Yep, run away,” Charlie said. “Just like Mom did.”

Morgan slammed the door without looking back.