Page 40 of When People Leave

“I tried. I hired private investigators, but no one could find where she took you. Now it makes sense since Carla had not only moved across the country but also changed your last names. After a few years and a lot of money, with no results, I had to give up.”

“How could you not know about me?” Abby asked, shaking her leg under the table so hard that the table vibrated.

“Carla never told me she was pregnant. I guess she didn’t want me to know, or you aren’t mine. I’m hoping it’s the former.”

“Me, too,” Abby said quietly.

“So, what happened with your gambling?” Morgan asked.

“After sinking into a deep depression; the high from gambling was the only thing that helped. When one of the bookies broke three of my fingers and threatened to cut off my hand, I left New York and got help for my addiction. I’m now a member of Gamblers Anonymous.”

“I’m glad you got your life together,” Morgan said.

“Same here. It took years, and by the time I was sure I was in a good place, you and Charlie were teenagers. I could finally be a good father to you, but I didn’t know where you were, until I saw that video of your mom saving her neighbor.

I finally had her new name, where she worked, and an email address. I wrote her immediately.”

“We looked through her emails and didn’t see anything from you. What email address did you write to?” Abby asked.

“Her work one.”

“It never occurred to us to look through her work emails,” Charlie said.

“What did you say when you contacted her?” Morgan asked.

“I told her that I’d stopped gambling years ago, and I wanted to see my two daughters.”

Morgan watched as Abby got up from the table and walked toward the kitchen with her head down.

“What did my mom say?” Charlie asked.

“You and Morgan were doing well without me and meeting me would upset you both. She refused to tell me where you were. I had no idea if your last name was the same as hers, or if any of you had gotten married and changed your name.”

“Thank you for telling us all this. Would it be okay if we call you back another time?” Morgan asked.

“I hope you do,” Brian said.

After Morgan hung up, Abby brought a glass of water back to the table and sipped it. “It’s not fair,” she said, tapping her fingers as if she were playing a silent piano. “I need to know if he’s also my father. And if he’s not, who the heck is mine?”

“One step at a time,” Charlie said. “I’m sure he’d be happy to take a DNA test.”

The next morning, Morgan called Carla’s real estate firm and told the assistant, Kathy, that she was one of the executors of her mother’s will and needed to get into her work email.

Kathy explained that she wasn’t supposed to give anyone outside the firm a password for their computers.

Morgan begged, and eventually, Kathy relented and said she would send her a code to get in.

Morgan sat at Carla’s computer for twenty minutes until Kathy sent the code. Morgan carefully inputted it and her mom’s work email popped up.

“I’m in,” Morgan said to the empty room.

As she weeded through emails about open houses, commissions, and conferences, she prayed her mother hadn’t deleted Brian’s emails. Finally, she found seven between her mother and father. They were all dated a week before Carla died.

Carla,

I’m sure I’m the last person you expected to hear from. I searched for you and the girls for years, but eventually, I had to give up because hoping I’d find you and not succeeding took a heavy toll on me. When I saw that video of you online, I finally knew where you’d gone.

I’m not writing today to blame you for leaving.

I understand why you felt you needed to, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t kill me to lose you, Morgan, and Charlie from my life forever.

I admit that I didn’t deserve to be a husband and father during that time.

When you tried to tell me that you and the girls were threatened and you didn’t feel safe, I thought you were blowing things out of proportion.

I regret more than I can say that I didn’t protect our family.

I loved you and the girls; I’m so sorry for how scared you must have been.

After you left, my gambling got even worse, and Antonio Sr. and his men came after me.

The last time, they hurt me, and that’s when I moved from Brooklyn to Connecticut and got help.

I assure you I’m not the same person I was back then.

I haven’t gambled in years, and I make a good living.

I’m a member of Gamblers Anonymous and I attend meetings three times a week.

I want to come to California to see you all. I think we have a lot to talk about.

Brian

Brian,

I’m sorry it took me a few days to get back to you.

I was shocked to get your email, and I’ve been trying to absorb what you said.

I’m happy you got help and are doing better, but it’s been a very long time since we’ve known each other, and I don’t think there’s anything to talk about.

I’d appreciate it if you didn’t contact me again.

I wish you the best.

Carla

Carla,

If you don’t want to see me, that’s fine, but I want to get to know my daughters.

I’m sure it wasn’t easy for you to raise them on your own, and I know my showing up when they’re adults isn’t ideal, but I truly believe they would want me in their lives.

I have always loved them and will continue to love them.

If you send me Morgan and Charlie’s information, I will get in touch with them and leave you out of it.

I hope you will seriously consider what I’m asking. I’d rather not go around you.

Brian

Brian,

When the girls were young, I told them that you had passed away.

I thought it would be easier for them than to wait and wonder where you were.

They adjusted fine, and now it would be shocking for you to contact them.

I have been their mother this whole time and raised them on my own because of the actions you took.

It’s better if we keep things the way they are and go on separately. Please leave us alone.

Carla

Carla,

You’re being unreasonable; they will get over the shock.

They deserve to have me in their life as much as I deserve to have them in mine.

They’ll understand when we tell them why you left me and why you told them I had died.

If the truth comes from you, it will go over better.

Since the girls are now adults, they can decide for themselves if they want to get to know me.

And now that I know where you are, I will make it happen.

Brian

Brian,

Is that a threat? Even if you come here, I won’t tell you their last names or where they live, so don’t waste your time.

Carla

Carla,

I’m sorry you’re upset, but if you don’t comply, I’ll have to contact a lawyer. I don’t want to go that far, but what you did was kidnapping. I hope you won’t leave me with any other choice but to file felony charges against you. Either way, I’ll find my daughters—of that, I can assure you.

Brian

The final email was dated two days before Carla ended her life. Morgan read each of them two more times. She felt anger rising inside her like steam from a pressure cooker.

Morgan couldn’t understand why her mom reacted that way. If no one gave me a second chance, where would I be? Mom, no matter how old we became or how much time had passed, you knew how much Charlotte, Abby, and I wished we had a father. What were you so worried about?

Morgan rubbed her neck; her back was aching, and she hadn’t even been sitting that long. She turned on the printer, which came to life with a low rumble, a geyser erupting after being dormant. She printed three copies of the emails. Were these some of her mother’s final words?