Page 24 of When People Leave

Morgan

M organ boarded the plane to New York first, leaving Charlie and Abby racing to catch up to her. When she got to her row, she put her purse on the seat, then bent deeply at the knees trying to pick up her weighty carry-on.

“You’re holding everyone up,” Charlie piped up, gesturing to the line of people behind her.

With a grunt, Morgan lifted the overnight bag over her head and shoved it in. She moved into the window seat, stretching her back and grimacing.

Charlie tossed her suitcase into the overhead compartment as easily as if she’d only packed a down pillow inside, then she sat in the aisle seat.

Abby stood looking at them, tapping her foot. “Why do I have to take the middle seat?” she asked Charlie. “You’re the middle child.”

The passengers waiting behind her began to grumble.

“Abby, just sit,” Morgan said.

Charlie pulled her legs up to her butt, and Abby crawled over her. Abby sat and expelled a powerful breath of air through her nose like a killer whale through its blowhole.

Charlie sniffed. “I can smell the peanut butter you had for breakfast.”

“And I can smell the spinsterhood on your breath,” Abby said.

“Okay,” Morgan said. “We’re all a little tense. Some of us more than others.” She put her hand on both her sisters’ knees. “Why don’t we hold off the snotty insults and try to enjoy each other on this long plane ride.”

“When did you become the therapist here?” Charlie said, grinning.

“I have my moments,” Morgan said.

When the plane left the gate, the scream of the engines filled the cabin as it picked up speed along the runway. Abby grabbed her sisters’ hands as the front wheels lifted off the ground. Morgan had forgotten that Abby had a fear of flying.

“If we all go down, does Albert inherit Mom’s estate?” Abby asked, clenching her teeth and not letting go of her sisters until the plane leveled off.

The flight was smooth, but the six hours went by excruciatingly slow for Morgan.

She spent most of the time with her eyes closed, wishing she could fall asleep, but questions ping-ponged around her brain as she wondered what else they might discover about Carla’s life.

The only clues they had so far were a magnet from New York, suitcases filled with stacks of money, and that their mother had lied to them about where she’d grown up.

None of which answered the question as to why Carla would have wanted to die.

When the plane landed and pulled up to gate 44 at JFK airport, the flight attendant turned off the seatbelt sign. When that familiar ding reverberated throughout the cabin, Abby jumped up, pulled her suitcase from the overhead bin, and tried to race off the plane ahead of other passengers.

“Abby, you have to wait your turn,” Morgan said, holding her back.

“I need to get out of here,” Abby said, seemingly unable to keep it together a second longer.

Morgan gestured to the couple in front of them, who were each over six feet with two suitcases and two backpacks blocking the aisle. “Unless you’re planning to fly over them, you aren’t going anywhere,” Morgan whispered to Abby.

The driver who picked them up at the taxi stand had a thick and unidentifiable accent.

His red beard, peppered with gray, grew below his chin to a point like an upside-down triangle.

Morgan got into the back of the cab and sat directly behind the driver.

Abby made a mad dash around to the other door and sat behind the front passenger seat, leaving Charlie to crawl into the middle seat.

Morgan glanced over at Abby and saw the satisfied smile on her sister’s lips.

“Can you take us to the William Vale Hotel,” Morgan asked.

As the driver hit the gas, he asked, “Brooklyn?” somehow making the one word seem like a judgment.

“Yes,” Morgan said.

“We aren’t staying in the city?” Abby wailed.

“No,” Morgan said.

“First, I got all excited about going to Vegas, only we were in Henderson. And then I was thrilled to be traveling to New York City, but we’re staying in Brooklyn,” Abby said. “Is this a mean joke on the person who never travels anywhere that doesn’t have a water park?”

“We’re staying near where Mom grew up,” Charlie said.

“If we have time, we’ll go into Manhattan,” Morgan said.

“Just so you know, these trips aren’t living up to their hype,” Abby pouted.

The cabbie drove like he was in a road rage with another automobile. He sped around cars, buses, and pedestrians in crosswalks. Every time he slammed on the brakes, Charlie held on to the seat in front of her to avoid being thrown into one of her sisters’ laps.

“At least the taxi rides are crazy and dangerous no matter what borough you’re in,” Charlie whispered in Abby’s ear, who didn’t appear to find the comment funny.

When the cab pulled up to the William Vale Hotel, Morgan felt slightly dizzy and nauseated. While she paid the driver, Abby and Charlie got their luggage out of the trunk.

Their hotel room was small, with two double beds and not much else. The same argument the sisters had when they were kids—about who got their own bed and which two had to sleep together—started: “You hog the covers.” “Well, you snore.” “And you take up the whole bed.”

Since they would have the room for three nights, Morgan suggested that each of them should have a bed to herself for one of the nights. That perfect solution satisfied both Charlie and Abby.

When they had unpacked, Morgan fell back on the bed and relaxed into the comfy mattress. Charlie put her feet on an ottoman as she sat in a small club chair in the corner of the room. She read the news on her phone.

“Don’t get comfortable; I’m starving,” Abby said, putting on her coat and wrapping her scarf around her neck. Morgan and Charlie grabbed their coats and headed back to the hotel elevators.

“There’s a seafood restaurant down the street,” Morgan said. “I did some research before we got here, and it got a good rating on Yelp.”

Five minutes later, they approached a warehouse with a small sign that they would’ve completely missed if they hadn’t been looking for it.

“Wow, I’ve always wanted to go to Costco for dinner,” Charlie quipped.

“Me, too,” Abby said. “Will they have people in the aisles giving samples?” Abby and Charlie high five.

“Ha ha,” Morgan said. “It’s hard being the only hip sister among us.”

The inside of the restaurant was a complete contrast to the exterior of the building. The walls were lined with red velvet wallpaper, mini crystal chandeliers hung over the tables, and the servers dressed in black and wore white gloves.

“Still think we’re in Costco?” Morgan asked.

As soon as they were seated, Charlie and Abby ordered cocktails, and Morgan ordered a mocktail. The waiter was so quick to bring the drinks over that Morgan wondered if her sisters appeared to need a buzz.

“I want one of everything,” Charlie said as she read through the menu.

“I’m so hungry I could eat a small child,” Abby said. “Not one of mine, of course, but someone else’s that has more meat on their bones.”

“Order whatever you want. It’s on Mom, and I doubt she’ll complain,” Morgan said.

Charlie and Abby looked at each other and then at Morgan.

“That’s kind of morbid,” Abby said.

“But true. I took a stack of those hundred-dollar bills from her suitcase. I think she would’ve wanted us to enjoy ourselves while we were here,” Morgan said.

“Here’s to Mom,” Charlie said, lifting her cocktail glass.

“Thanks for the expensive fish, too, Mom,” Abby said, her eyes raised toward the sky.

“And thank you, Morgan, for stealing her money,” Charlie said.

The women clinked glasses.

Morgan took a sip of her drink. “Don’t let anyone tell you this is the same without the vodka,” she said, swallowing.

The sisters discussed what should be the first thing they do in the morning. Morgan didn’t divulge that she had no idea what their endgame would be in Brooklyn. The most important thing was to find out why their mother lied about living in New York.

The waiter brought over their meals.

“I can’t believe Mom would put us through this,” Abby said, taking a bite of her halibut.

“Most people who get to the point of suicide are in such a dark place they don’t think about what or who they’re leaving behind,” Charlie said.

“Are you saying she never thought of any of us? Or her grandkids?” Abby asked. “How could she not have realized we’d be devastated?”

“It wasn’t about us,” Charlie said. “Mom probably had tunnel vision and could only see things from her perspective. I know from clients I’ve had that when someone gets to that point, they don’t see another way out.”

Morgan cleared her throat, then gazed down at the table for a moment. “Four years ago, I thought about killing myself,” she said. “If I hadn’t gone to AA, I would have done it.”

“Seriously?” Charlie asked.

Morgan nodded.

“I had no idea,” Abby said.

“You needed us, and we weren’t there for you,” Charlie said.

“You couldn’t have known; I didn’t tell anyone how I felt.

” Morgan met their eyes. “At first, it was a fleeting thought that would come and go, then I considered it more often, and then it became all I could focus on. When alcohol didn’t solve my problems, I thought disappearing would.

I couldn’t handle disappointing you all anymore. ”

“I wish you’d come to us,” Charlie said.

“I was sure you’d all be better off with me gone, and I didn’t want to be guilted out of it,” Morgan said. “I knew Mom was always worrying about me, and I thought I could end that for her. It’s ironic, that I’m still here, and she’s not.”

The silence that floated between them told Morgan her sisters must be thinking about what would’ve happened if Morgan had gone through with it, and how their mother must’ve felt as she made that final decision.

Abby put her hands up to the gold butterfly around her neck. “I always wondered why you gave me this expensive necklace you said you didn’t want anymore.”

“I forgot about that,” Morgan said. “Since I’m not dead, you need to give it back.”

“Me and my big mouth,” Abby said under her breath.

Morgan reflected on how different she was back then.

“It seems so long ago that I was in that place. Being sober and going to AA made me see that just because my father didn’t want me, I’m still worth having around.

And now, I have a community of people in AA who understand and help me stay in the right head space. ”

“And you have us,” Charlie said.

“We need to watch out for each other,” Abby said. “Now that Mom’s gone, we’re all the family we have.”

Morgan slumped as the weight of that sunk in. She had been to the funeral, and she’d stayed in her mom’s house without Carla there, but hearing Abby say those words out loud hit her harder than a fly ball coming at her head at eighty miles an hour.

“Because of everything you went through, does that give you a better understanding of how Mom might’ve been feeling?” Charlie asked Morgan.

“No. You all knew I was struggling, but Mom didn’t show any signs that she was in trouble. It seemed like she had everything together,” Morgan said.

“I think whatever it was that made her do it happened quickly,” Charlie said.

“I agree. I’m hoping we find something here that gives us answers and some closure,” Morgan said.

Abby sighed. “So, where do we start?”

They agreed to begin with the most straightforward clue: the pizza place listed on the magnet that Carla had given Michael.