Page 34 of When People Leave

Carla

B rian had been obsessed with money. His excuse for gambling was that he wanted the best for his family, but he was an addict.

Before Carla decided to leave, she tried to get him to admit the harm he was bringing to all of them.

He kept assuring her that the people he owed money to wouldn’t come after her—only him.

But one day, three men showed up at Morgan and Charlie’s Gymboree class to threaten her.

“Carla, you’re making too much of this,” Brian said later that night when the girls were asleep. “I told you those men aren’t going to hurt you or the girls. They’re just trying to intimidate you.”

“Well, it’s working. You’re supposed to protect us, not put us in the middle of your mess.”

“It’s all going to be fine. I have a bet on a game this weekend, and I’m going to win big. I’ll get the money I owe them, and things will go back to normal.”

“And what if you lose?” Carla asked.

“I won’t. It’s a sure thing.”

Carla didn’t want to argue, so she nodded and walked away. Then those same men showed up at the park the following week.

“Your deadbeat husband now owes us thirty thousand dollars, and if he doesn’t pay, one of your girls could “accidentally” go missing,” a man with broad shoulders and arms bigger than Carla’s thighs said.

“You know, accidents can happen,” the other man said.

Carla was shaking so much she didn’t know if she could drive them home.

“I have to get out of here, I have to get out of here,” Carla repeated as she paced in the family room.

Morgan, a little over four years old, and Charlie, two and a half, were clapping their hands with glee over the contraption they’d built with their Legos.

The front of it resembled a dune buggy crossed with a front-end loader.

The back was part castle and part sphinx.

On the top of their creation was an umbrella, a beach chair, and a knight standing guard.

The girls’ innocent joy made Carla happy—they were her only priority, and she knew she was doing the right thing.

Suddenly, nausea overtook her, and she ran to the bathroom.

After Carla had emptied everything in her stomach, she steadied herself by holding onto the bathroom wall.

As she returned to the girls, she unconsciously rested her hands on her stomach.

She had to leave New York soon; it wouldn’t be much longer before her belly would no longer be flat, and Brian would realize she was pregnant again.

She put the girls in front of a Lion King DVD and wrote down a list of everything she needed to do.

She’d been saving money from the groceries, twenty dollars here, forty dollars there.

She also emptied her secret bank account.

She knew even before the last week that Brian was in trouble, but she didn’t realize how much.

When he told her about his upcoming business trip to Philadelphia, she dropped the girls off with a sitter and went to the airport to buy them plane tickets to Los Angeles.

She needed to pay cash, or he’d be able to find out where she’d taken his daughters.

Carla didn’t want to leave anything open-ended, so she hired a lawyer to serve Brian with divorce papers as soon as he came home from Philadelphia. By that time, she and the girls would be across the country.

Carla would miss all her friends, especially Antonio. They had a strong bond; he had been the one person she went to when she had a problem, but not this time. As much as she trusted him, she didn’t want to put him in a position to lie if Brian contacted him looking for them.

The day Brian left for his trip, Carla woke up before their alarm and watched him sleep.

As he snored ever so softly, she thought, why couldn’t you have died?

As soon as that thought came into her head, she turned away.

How can I say that about the only man I’d ever loved—and still love.

It would have been easier if he disappeared because deciding to leave her home and life in New York had almost broken her.

The alarm went off, and Carla, her eyes wide, sat up quickly.

“What’s wrong?” Brian asked, suddenly awake, staring at her.

She imagined she had a sign across her forehead that read, ‘Ask me why I’m guilt-ridden.’

“Nothing,” she said. “I just realized that before you go today, I need a little extra money. Morgan and Charlie have birthdays coming up, and I want to start buying them gifts and planning their parties.”

“Of course, anything for my girls,” Brian said.

She knew he meant it, but his actions didn’t support it. Carla turned away as he grabbed his wallet and handed her most of his cash. “I’ll go to the bank before I get on the train today,” he said.

When Brian picked up his overnight bag to leave, Carla grabbed him and hugged him tightly, then gazed into his eyes and kissed him.

“I’m not joining a cult; I’ll only be gone for a few days.” Brian laughed, then suddenly stopped when he saw Carla’s expression. “Are you okay?” he asked.

“I’ll just miss you,” she said, her voice tearful.

“Now, I can’t wait to come home,” he said, grabbing her. “I’ll see you all in a few days.”

“Daddy...” Morgan and Charlotte yelled as they ran into the room and enthusiastically jumped into his arms; Carla couldn’t bear to watch.

“Goodbye, my sweet girls. I’ll see you soon,” he kissed each of them on the forehead.

As Carla stood in the driveway watching Brian’s car disappear down the street, for a split second, she considered trashing her plans.

Then she told herself she was doing the right thing.

Brian had lied to her, lost most of their money, and put his children’s lives in danger.

The only way for Carla to take the kids away from their father was to convince herself that he was so self-destructive and selfish that he’d eventually forget about them and move on with his life.

Carla walked through each room of the house, a house she treasured.

As soon as she saw the MLS listing, she knew it would be the perfect place to raise their kids.

She spent days picking out the paint colors and even longer choosing the furniture.

Tears streamed down her face as she realized she was sadder about leaving her home than she was about leaving her husband.

She needed to stay busy; otherwise, she might’ve reverted to an old habit that started in middle school. When Carla felt anxious over an upcoming test, she’d pull hairs from her eyebrows. Starting a new life with no eyebrows would not make the best impression.

Carla got out three suitcases and packed them full of the girl’s clothes and her own. She selected very few sweaters because they wouldn’t need them in Los Angeles.

After Carla had packed as much as would fit in the suitcases, she took the girls to her mom’s house.

Beverly had breast cancer, and her prognosis wasn’t good, so Carla knew that she’d never see her mother alive again.

Although they had never been close, Carla still wanted to say goodbye, even if Beverly didn’t know that’s what was happening.

“Grammy,” the girls yelled as they ran toward Beverly who sat in a recliner chair watching a soap opera on TV. The sound was loud and intrusive, causing everyone to shout.

“Remember, girls, it’s not Grammy, it’s Glammy,” Beverly said, reaching for her oxygen tank and attaching the tube under her nose. Any word that sounded like Grandma was a curse word to her.

She wore a scarf around her head and a housecoat that seemed to be two sizes too big.

Beverly held her arms stiffly at her sides, and then, as the girls got close to her, she turned away as if they had a swarm of killer bees attached to their shirts.

Carla was amazed that the girls greeted Beverly with such affection even though it wasn’t returned.

“Cookies, Glammy?” Morgan asked.

“There’s some on the counter in the kitchen, but don’t eat them all.” Morgan and Charlie ran to the kitchen. Beverly turned to Carla. “Those girls are going to get fat if all they care about is sweets.”

Carla had learned to ignore her mother’s snide comments. “How’re you feeling, Mom?” Carla asked, sitting down on the couch next to her.

“I have cancer. What do you think?” Beverly said. “You don’t bring those girls to see me much.”

“You’re dealing with a lot; I wouldn’t want to overwhelm you.”

“Good point. Besides, I’m no fun anymore,” Beverly said.

Were you ever? Carla thought.

Carla listened to Beverly describe every detail of her treatment. Morgan and Charlie returned, each chomping on one cookie and holding another one.

“Girls, we’re going to get lunch soon,” Carla said.

“We’ll be hungry,” Morgan said.

“We love to eat,” Charlie said.

Beverly raised her eyebrows at Carla, who pretended not to notice.

“Mom, we don’t have a lot of time today. We’re going to have to get going,” Carla said.

“I get it; no one likes to be around someone in pain.”

Morgan and Charlie ran to the front door, waving as they left. Carla hugged her mother goodbye, which felt as warm as holding a concrete slab.

Next, Carla took the girls to the pizza parlor to see Antonio. He had always been able to read her even better than Brian could, so she needed to make sure he couldn’t see how painful this goodbye would be for her.

During the past couple of years, she’d confided in Antonio that Brian had some issues, and at times, she feared for her family’s safety.

Antonio stewed in anger over what she had told him.

He respected her enough not to get involved when she asked him not to.

The only time she’d introduced him to Brian, she had sensed that Antonio wanted to hit him, so she had suggested they take their pizza to go.

Today, she did her best to smile and be her happier self. She thought she had been doing a good job until Antonio asked her if she was okay. She said she was fine, just fighting a cold. That was the first lie she’d ever told him.

While Carla and Antonio visited, the girls stuffed themselves with garlic rolls and pizza. Carla held back her tears when she said goodbye to him until she got in the car. The moment she sat behind the wheel, the immenseness of everything flooded her like a dam breaking.

“What’s wrong, Mommy? You’re crying,” Morgan said.

“Did you get a boo-boo?” Charlie asked.

“Yes,” Carla said. “My heart is hurting right now.”

“Then you should put a Band-Aid on it,” Morgan said.

“That’s a great idea,” Carla said through her tears.

The following morning, after Carla had placed all their suitcases in her trunk, she woke the girls and announced they were going on an adventure.

“What about school?” Morgan asked.

“It’s a holiday,” Carla said. “It’s ‘Mommy takes her kids on their first airplane’ day.”

“Yay,” Charlie said.

Charlie and Morgan leaped out of bed. Carla handed Morgan clothes to put on, then helped Charlie get dressed.

After breakfast, she drove them to the airport, leaving her car in a corner of the long-term parking lot.

She hoped it would be a while before anyone found it.

The girls had never been on a plane, so the thrill of flying kept them from asking why their father wasn’t with them.

After the six-hour flight and a lot of adrenaline, both girls were exhausted. Carla gave the taxi driver the address of an apartment building in the San Fernando Valley that she had researched to ensure it was in a safe neighborhood.

Carla felt the tension in her spine lessen when they pulled up to a newer building on a quiet block. The building was a charming brick structure, four stories tall, with a row of purple and pink Lantana flowers surrounding a large Crepe Myrtle tree in the middle of a verdant green lawn.

The best part was the tenants were mainly elderly and were excited to see young kids moving in.

The first person they met was Julia, a widow who lived in the apartment next door.

Julia had an abundance of white hair that she wore in a bun, and when she let it down, it cascaded down to her waist. She seemed ten years younger than her age of eighty-one.

The first time Julia met Carla and the girls, her eyes sparkled with a warmth that almost made Carla fall apart.

Carla felt that Julia was sent from above to be the mother she never had.

And when she offered to babysit the girls, Carla was sure of it.

Julia missed her grandchildren, who had recently moved with their parents to a foreign country while their father had been deployed.

One of the first things Carla did after she got settled in was change her last name from Brenner to her mother’s maiden name, Weiss.

Then she discovered someone who forged birth certificates and she changed the girls’ last names, too.

Carla was intent on making sure that no one would ever find them.