Page 38 of When People Leave

Carla

G etting pregnant with a third child was not part of Carla’s plan.

Brian had promised to get a vasectomy, but that had turned out to be another one of the things he didn’t follow through on.

She didn’t tell him about the pregnancy because she knew he’d only bet more money and say it was for their growing family.

When they left New York, Morgan and Charlie were still so young, so Carla hoped they wouldn’t remember much from this time in their lives.

Someday, they’d have lots of questions about their father, and when that time came, she’d tell them that he passed away.

To Carla, that part of her life would be dead anyway.

After she married Brian, she should have been smarter about staying financially

independent. Before she got married, she had always worked and saved money.

At a young age, she taught herself to type fast, so at fourteen, she worked for a neighbor doing medical transcribing.

When she was sixteen, she got a job selling costume jewelry in a department store.

And all through college, she worked on campus in the admissions office.

If Carla had learned anything from watching her mother scrimp and save when her father divorced her, Carla might have stashed more money away.

By the time Carla left Brian, she had gotten together enough money for the first and last month’s rent for an apartment and even had job interviews set up in Los Angeles.

Carla had been so busy getting the girls settled and passing the California real estate exam that she almost forgot she was pregnant.

She’d gained less weight with this pregnancy because she was running around town with her clients, so at nine months, she didn’t look more than seven months pregnant.

Carla had recently entered her first million-dollar sale into escrow and was walking through the property preparing it for the inspector when she felt a contraction.

She ignored it because it was just one of many she’d felt for the last couple of days.

She knew what labor felt like and was sure this wasn’t it.

The inspector, Stan, a tall, lanky man who looked like he could have been a fitness instructor, arrived.

When Carla shook his hand, she noticed his grip was firm, yet his palm was soft.

Since she’d been pregnant, all her senses had been heightened.

Stan wore jeans that flattered his physique and a plain T-shirt that was so white, she wanted to ask how much bleach he used to keep it looking that way.

She didn’t see a wedding ring on his finger or a tan line.

The sun’s reflection through the windows brought out gold specks in his chocolate eyes. He smiled at her as he took in her pregnant belly.

“Is this your first kid?”

“No, my third, but it’s my first without my husband in the picture.”

“Really,” he said. “You look so young.” Carla thought he got closer to her, but she wasn’t sure if she imagined it. “You have that glow about you,” he said.

Carla wasn’t one to blush, but she felt her cheeks get warm. She smiled at him, and then suddenly, she felt a wetness in her pants.

I haven’t been turned on like this in a long time, but I don’t remember peeing a little when I was, she thought. After another second, a whoosh of water poured through her leggings. Stan looked down at the floor and then moved quickly backward.

“Oh, my God, my water broke,” Carla said, pulling her legs together, hoping that would hold something in, but she knew from having Morgan and Charlie that it wasn’t going to work. And it didn’t.

This would have to happen when I meet a cute guy who finds me attractive, even when I’m carrying another human being inside me.

“I’m sorry, Stan, but I think I should go,” Carla said.

“You shouldn’t drive like this. Do you have someone who can take you to the hospital?”

“I’ll call my friend Ginny. Finish your inspection; I wouldn’t want my giving birth to get in the way of the Wilson’s escrow.”

“Are you sure?” he asked. “I don’t feel comfortable leaving you like this.”

“It’s fine.”

He nodded and moved out to the backyard. Ginny arrived in record time with a beach towel that Carla wrapped around her waist.

“I called Julia,” Ginny said. “She’ll pick up Morgan from school and Charlie from daycare and watch them overnight.”

“Thank you so much,” Carla said.

Ginny helped Carla to the car, and they headed to the hospital.

“How did I not realize that I was going to have to give birth all alone?” Carla began hyperventilating. Ginny did her best to calm her down by agreeing to be her birthing partner.

“Are you sure you’re okay with that?” Carla asked. “You’ve never wanted kids.”

“As long as it’s you, not me, that something is jackhammering inside of and ripping apart, I’m fine.”

“You were born to be a birthing coach,” Carla said, laughing until a big contraction hit. When they arrived at the hospital, Carla had to sit in the car, inhaling and exhaling slowly, until the last contraction stopped.

“Let’s get you settled,” a nurse said as she pushed Carla in a wheelchair into a room with Ginny walking alongside them.

The nurse put a cup of ice chips on a tray beside the bed.

“Your doctor will be in soon. Your wife can help you change,” she said, putting a blue hospital gown on the bed.

Carla and Ginny had a good laugh after the nurse left and closed the door.

Six hours later, Abby came screaming into the world. After cleaning her up, the doctor put her on Carla’s chest. Ginny looked at the baby, her eyes glistening. “She’s gorgeous,” Ginny said.

“Isn’t she? Morgan and Charlie wanted another sister.”

“Babies are so cute,” Ginny gently touched the top of Abby’s head. “It’s a shame they have to turn into adults.”

“Yep, that’s usually the way it works,” Carla said, not taking her eyes off her newborn.

Two days later, when Ginny dropped Carla and Abby home from the hospital, Morgan and Charlie were in a screaming, drag-out fight.

Asleep in Carla’s arms, Abby awoke with a start and added to the hysterics.

Carla nursed Abby while negotiating with Morgan and Charlie, whose turn it was to feed their baby doll.

Carla took the doll away when she couldn’t stand their arguing anymore.

Morgan and Charlie began crying, and then Abby stopped breastfeeding and started crying, which made Carla cry along with them all.

Julia knocked on the door having heard the commotion through the walls. “Let me help,” Julia said. She took Morgan and Charlie into the other room and Abby calmed down and was able to latch back on.

“What was I thinking about having another baby by myself?” Carla said to Julia when she came back into the room. “I’m never going to be able to do this.”

“You will. It’s like having three dogs—two is no harder than three, there’s just more poop.”

“Where did you hear that?” Carla asked. “I’ve only had three for a few hours, and I’m already pulling my hair out. Maybe I shouldn’t have gotten divorced.”

“I can’t answer that,” Julia said, “but you’re a smart woman, so I’m sure you had a good reason to leave. And besides, even though you’re divorced, he should be here helping. They’re his kids, too.”

Carla wasn’t about to tell Julia the truth; she would have to learn to go it alone. She told herself they’d be okay with only one parent as long as she was an attentive and supportive mother. Carla didn’t know if she believed that, but what choice did she have?

It’s Brian’s fault that I had to give up everything that made me who I was, she thought. Having to start over, reinvent myself, and create a new history was not in my plans.

It took years before Carla got used to all the lies. She felt like a fraud because she was.

When the girls became old enough to question why their father wasn’t there, Carla told them that Brian had walked out on them.

He didn’t want to be a part of their lives.

A few years later, when Morgan wanted to talk to her father, Carla said that she had heard he’d died.

It was the only way she knew how to make things final.

Being the head of the household meant Carla had to work hard, but no matter how much effort she put in, she had still taken the most important male role model away from them.

Carla knew from all her college psychology classes that this decision might affect her daughters.

As the years flew by, she realized she was to blame for many of the bad choices the girls made in their lives.

When Carla discovered that at thirteen, Morgan had started drinking, she should have put her foot down or gotten her into therapy. Instead, she denied it and dismissed it as typical teenage rebellion. She convinced herself Morgan would grow out of it.

A year later, when Morgan’s destructive behavior had continued, Carla confronted her, and Morgan stopped speaking to her for weeks. When Morgan became addicted to pain pills after one of her car accidents, Carla didn’t say a word.

After Morgan finally got sober, Carla would hold her breath every day and pray Morgan wouldn’t relapse. She knew Morgan resented the constant pressure, but she couldn’t help herself.

Carla also blamed herself for Charlie staying with a man for years when it was leading nowhere.

Charlie had been independent when she was younger but changed dramatically when she started dating Rick.

He took advantage of her, and Charlie acted like she didn’t see it, or she didn’t think she deserved better.

Charlie was taking after Carla who had not been the best judge of character.

After all, she picked Brian and she hated seeing Charlie making the same mistakes she did.

Abby was the baby Carla didn’t know she wanted until she was born.

The child that was all hers and the one she had the most in common with, but not always in the ways Carla wished.

Abby didn’t like to take risks, and Carla worried it was because her own fears had rubbed off on her daughter.

At least Abby had chosen a good man, even if Alex was the first boy she had ever talked to.

Alex took good care of her and treated her well, things all mothers wanted for their daughters.

Carla wished that Abby hadn’t followed in her footsteps by marrying young and having kids so quickly.

She would’ve wanted Abby to experience more of life first and be able to follow her passion for acting.

Carla knew Abby could’ve been a star. Unlike Beverly, who never would have made it big, Abby had talent and that special spark.

If she only had half the confidence that Beverly had and more time, she would have been famous.

When Carla looked back on Morgan’s drinking, Charlie’s staying with Rick, and Abby’s need to create an instant family, she wondered if she’d done the right thing keeping their father from them. Did her lies predetermine her daughters’ lives?

The one thing Carla knew for sure, was if anyone discovered what she’d been hiding all these years, she’d have to disappear. And until that viral video of the fire, no one had found her.