Page 21 of When People Leave

Louisa nodded, and when she crossed toward the kitchen, Rick remained next to Charlie.

He reached out, took her hand, and twirled her around.

She laughed as the beer and a half she had drunk swirled in her brain making her slightly dizzy.

Rick caught her in his arms when her stocking feet slid out from under her.

Charlie wasn’t sure if she’d accidentally slipped or done it on purpose.

Either way, she was in a cute guy’s arms. She may have been in college, but her maturity level with boys was that of a twelve-year-old.

“I’m surprised I never noticed you before,” Rick said.

“I fly under the radar,” Charlie had said.

“Not anymore.” He stared at Charlie, and she wasn’t sure if he liked what he saw or was trying to figure out if she was his type.

“I’m Rick,” he said.

“Charlie.”

When Charlie saw Louisa coming back with a beer, she jumped away from Rick as if she’d been caught by her parents having sex with a stranger. Louisa handed Rick the beer and took Charlie’s hand.

“There’s someone I want you to meet,” Louisa said to Charlie.

As Louisa and Charlie began to walk away, Rick called after.

“Aren’t you going to give me your number?” he asked.

Before Charlie could answer, he said, “Never mind; I’ll give you mine.” He reached into her pocket, pulled out her phone, and typed his number into it.

“Call me,” he said.

“And what if I don’t?” Charlie said.

“Oh, I think you will.” Rick grinned at her and walked away.

Charlie couldn’t believe the nerve of the guy, yet she felt her heart palpitating to the beat of Taylor Swift’s “Shake It Off.” The last time she had felt this odd was when she was twelve at her cousin’s bar mitzvah and a fourteen-year-old boy told Carla that he was going to marry her daughter in ten years.

Now, eleven years after that party, Rick was curled up on the couch next to Charlie.

“I’ve missed you,” Rick said.

“Me, too,” Charlie said—how could she not say that back?

Rick rubbed her arm up and down as if strumming a guitar. “I hate when you’re not around. I count on you a lot.”

Charlie looked him in the eyes. “Which honestly is not great.”

“It’s what couples who love each other do.”

“It’s too much. Our relationship isn’t equal,” Charlie said. “I’m not getting some of my own stuff done, because I’m constantly taking care of you.”

“I thought you loved me,” Rick said, turning on his best smile.

“I’m being serious. I need to start prioritizing myself, so you have to stop relying on me so much.”

“Okay, you’re right. I get it, more equal. You got it.”

“Thanks.” Charlie breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe this can work . “When you go home, can you water the orchids in my apartment? I don’t want them to die before I get back.”

“Didn’t we just decide to prioritize ourselves more?” Rick asked. “Since I’ve been spending so much time doing all my errands lately, I need to have time to get to the gym.”

Charlie slowly counted to five in her head. “Do you want to watch TV?” she asked.

“Sure, I heard there’s a new Dahmer documentary on Netflix.”

“I can’t watch serial killers at night.”

“This one will be different.”

“No, it won’t.” She looked at the menu for another show to watch. “What about a show about Joan Rivers’ rise to fame.”

“Boring.” They sat for a minute in silence. Then Rick continued, “I know what we can do.” A flirtatious smirk spread across his face; Charlie knew his expression well.

“I’m kind of tired,” she said. “I haven’t been sleeping well.” She saw the disappointed look on Rick’s face. “Cuddling would be nice, though.”

“Okay, and then tomorrow night you’ll have more energy.”

After Rick fell asleep, Charlie tossed and turned for quite a while, trying to figure out how she had ended up being so strong in some parts of her life and so weak in others.

She must have finally drifted off when she found herself having the same dream she’d had many times before.

She and Rick were at a fancy restaurant.

He was talking incessantly about some video game he’d been trying to beat.

Suddenly, he clutched his chest, fell off his chair and dropped to the ground.

The lamb chop in his hand skittered across the black and white tile floor, landing beside the cowboy boot of a woman at the next table.

Charlie looked down into Rick’s wide-open eyes as their normal iridescent color lost its light. She knew he was already gone.

Commotion reverberated in the restaurant, but Charlie was paralyzed and couldn’t stand up.

A man at the next table called out that he was a doctor and ran over.

He began CPR while his wife called 911. The doctor continued compressions on Rick’s chest, and his wife kept her finger on Rick’s pulse until the paramedics rushed in.

Charlie stared at her plate where the congealed linguine had transformed into a bunch of live worms. Rick was put on a stretcher, and a sheet was placed over him.

This was the always the part of the dream where Charlie woke up.

When she first started having the dream, Charlie told her therapist about it.

“Do you notice that Rick is the one to leave you?” the therapist said. “Is it possible your subconscious is telling you it’s time to end that relationship?”

“Probably. But I’m scared of being alone,” Charlie told him.

“Aren’t you alone now?” the therapist asked.

Charlie knew it was wrong to lie to another therapist, but she couldn’t let him see that she didn’t have the energy to change anything.

During the subsequent few sessions, she told her therapist that Rick had an epiphany and realized that he’d been taking her for granted.

Charlie said he was now devoted to making her needs his top priority, and they were heading toward an engagement.

After a few weeks, Charlie left therapy instead of revealing the truth.

Besides, she didn’t have enough to talk about if she couldn’t complain about Rick.

While Rick snored quietly, Charlie stared at the clock and clenched her jaw, Mom, I’m glad you aren’t here to see me not taking control or standing up for myself.

A day later, when Rick left for the airport, Charlie leaned on the closed door, letting her head rest gently against the cool wood. Then she crossed her arms and gave herself a much-needed hug. An hour later, she’d never been happier to see Morgan come home.