Page 23 of Whatever It Takes

He lays his weight into me, his usual insult ringing in my ears. He smacks my face a couple times, the blows harder, and then I gather the strength to shove him off and roll out beneath him. I cough once, digging my soles into the grass, and then I stand up enough to grab my backpack and run.

“Garrison!” Davis yells. “We’re just playing!”

Fuck you.

I run faster, almost tripping as I reach the asphalt, and I look back once to see if they’re following, but all three of my brothers stay behind in the yard. I gather speed towards the main street, off Cider Creek Pass.

Then I slow down, my pulse never slowing with me.

I rub my hands through my hair. “What the fuck,” I whisper, hearing the sound of my shaking voice.Are you going to cry?Then I rub my throbbing cheek, the wetness apparent. “Stupid shit,” I mumble softly and then rummage in my backpack.

I collect a cigarette and lighter, putting the end in my mouth. I suck in deeply, and then I look up and realize how far I’ve sprinted and then walked.

I’m at Loren Hale’s house. It’s a mansion, not as ostentatious as my family’s. The lights are off, and the driveway is empty. I pace back and forth by the mailbox, smoking a cigarette.

I don’t know why I linger. My friends and I—we’ve pranked their house since they first moved to this neighborhood, and at first, we were just curious.Who the fuck are these people?we all thought.

They’re not famous because they did something revolutionary or because they acted, sang, and entertained their way into peoples’ hearts.

They’re famous because Loren’s fiancée is a sex addict. The heiress of Fizzle—a soda empire—sucked a lot of cock.

You know, Imethim—Loren.

He caught me after I shot paintballs at his house windows, and my friends—they just left me there, racing off with their own paintball guns, thinking he’d turn me into the police. Being loyal, I wouldn’t have ratted them out.

But that night, Loren Hale let me go.

I don’t get it.

I don’t understand why he didn’t turn me in. He seems like an ass. He’s always glaring in tabloid photographs, not more than his half-brother, but still. Helooks like a fucking dick—and he let me go.

I don’t know why I do it now, but I reach into my backpack and grab a canister of metallic spray paint. With my heart banging into my ribcage, violently sayingnowith each beat, I spray the side of his mailbox. My nose flares, knowing it’s bad.

Knowing I should stop.

But I don’t.

The paint wets my fingers as I hold down the nozzle tighter, and on one side I write the wordCockand on the other, I writeSucker.

Maybe I should’ve just writtenhelpinstead.

6BACK THEN – September

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

GARRISON ABBEY

Age 17

Superheroes & Scones is packed.

Slouched in a red vinyl booth, I listen to Nathan prattle off reasons why he can’t stand this place—how it looks like Captain America took a shit on the walls, a red and blue and gray scheme. It’s a dumb complaint. We’re in a comic book store for Christ’s sake.

I take a swig from a bottle wrapped tightly in a brown bag.Shit.Sharp vodka slides down my throat, inexpensive and probably a cousin of rubbing alcohol.

This is the best I could steal from the liquor cabinet. My parents only stock shitty vodka, and they’d notice if I took their prized Scotch and bourbon.

“Hey.” Nathan waves a hand at my face, sitting next to me. “You here?”