Page 124 of Whatever It Takes

The music picks up near the party.

“Willow,” I whisper. “I think we should…”Break up. I can’t even force out those words without my eyes reddening. Pain searing. It’s selfish of me not to end this.

I know that.

She glares as tears run down her cheek. “Don’t you dare. Iloveyou, Garrison.”

“I love you, too.” I’ll always love her. I stuff my chilled, burning hands into my pockets. “It’s why I have to go.”

We stand in the middle of her college campus. Phones pointed at us. And I feel like I’ve grabbed a shovel and buried us both under.

“You’re not breaking up with me,” Willow says in defiance. Like it can’t be done. “I won’t let you.”

I don’t deserve her.I don’t deserve her.God, I don’t. But I’m ruining her. My eyes sear, cold stinging the water that threatens to spill. “Willow—”

“You want to go,” she says. “I heard you. So we’regoing to get in a cab and drive to the airport and you’re going to fly home. But I’m coming with you to the airport. You don’t have to talk. We can justsit.And then when you’re back in Philly and sober, you’ll call me. You’ll tell me what’s wrong.”

I don’t know if I will.

But I nod.

“I love you,” she says again. Wrapping her arms around herself because I won’t let her touch me. If she touches me, she’ll know I bruised…or broke my ribs. Or rather, my brother broke them.

Maybe she already knows. It’s probably on her list of possibilities. Still I can’t bring myself to mention what happened. It doesn’t excuse me punching her friend. It doesn’t excuse how I ruined tonight.

Yeah, I should let her go. Reject her offer. But I feel like the inked skeleton, fingers slipping from the one thing still alive in its hand.

And I hold on.

I’m holding on.

But I don’t know where we go from here.

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