Page 72 of What He Never Knew

It didn’t matter that the car was completely quiet, because my thoughts were as loud as train whistles.

Jennifer Stinson had practically pissed on Reese in front of me, which shouldn’t have upset me as much as it did. She was his age. She wasgorgeous, and clearly fit, and, apparently, they ran in the same circle. She’d be a great girlfriend for him, a great woman to get him over Charlie and moving forward.

All of that might have been true, but I still hated it.

I hated it because I wanted it to be me. I wanted it to bemewho was strikingly gorgeous, fit and bold and confident enough to march right up to Reese in the park and demand a date. I wanted it to be me — in another world, another time, another place where I wasn’t his student and he wasn’t my teacher, where I wasn’t so fucked up from the first man who touched me that I couldn’t even let Reese try.

“I’m sorry about that,” Reese said once we were on the highway. “Jennifer can be… brash.”

I swallowed, stomach flipping around at the sound of her name on his lips. I had no right to be jealous, to care, but I did. It was something about the casual tone, the friendly way he referred to her — like he knew her, like she knew him.

I only wanted to hear my name on his lips like that.

“I think she’s refreshing,” I said, folding my hands over my stomach like I could soothe it with a sort of hug as that lie slipped through. “She knows what she wants, and she’s confident.” I turned to him, then. “You should go on a date with her.”

“What?” Reese’s brows pulled in so fast I thought he’d give himself a headache. He shook his head, shifting one hand off the wheel and replacing it with the other before he glanced at me. “You’re kidding, right?”

“Not at all.”

Reese eyed me for the longest time before he pulled his gaze back to the road, cracking his neck without responding.

“I’m just saying, it’s been two years since you quote, unquote,dated— and even that is a stretch, all things considered.”

Reese’s face fell flat at that.

“I’m not trying to dredge up old Charlie feelings or anything,” I said quickly. “I’m just saying… even if Jennifer isn’t therightone, she could be the right one to get you out of your funk. Maybe open you up to dating again. You know?”

Reese apparentlydidn’tknow, because he just stared forward, the muscle in his jaw flexing as he gripped the wheel so tight his knuckles were the color of my uncle’s face. He shook his head, almost imperceptibly, before he finally responded.

“So, you want me to go on a date? That’s what you’re saying?”

No.

God, no.

Not even a little bit.

It’s the absolute last thing I want.

“Yeah,” I answered instead, swallowing down any other response my brain was screaming at me.

Or rather, my heart.

“I do. I think it’ll be good for you.”

Reese laughed, the sound so soft and laced with distaste that I wasn’t sure it could even be classified as a true laugh. He shook his head, but didn’t look at me again.

“Fine. Guess I’ll go on a date, then.”

I swallowed, forcing a smile like I’d won, like him agreeing to take Jennifer out was somehow a victory.

When we made it back to his place, Reese offered me a stiff hug goodbye before taking Rojo inside. I stood there in his driveway for the longest time, staring at his front door. I didn’t know why I was rooted to that spot, why I felt so physically ill that throwing up was the only thing I wanted to do in that moment to find some sort of relief.

But I tore myself from the spot, climbing into my uncle’s car and driving the ten minutes it took me to get home in complete silence.

This is the right thing,I told myself.Reese will be happier with someone like her.

Someone who isn’t me.