Page 10 of What He Never Knew

But her hug, her smile, the way she looked at me — it was all genuine. It was who she’d always been. It was what I loved about her. She was the kindest woman, and her heart was too big for her own good. It had been hard on her, leaving me alone after what had transpired between us. She hated that she’d hurt me, and she wanted to make me better — even though it wasn’t her job to.

She had left me alone.

It had beenmewho begged to come back into her life.

Of course, that was when I thought Daisy was mine. That was when I was desperately looking for anything to tie me to Charlie, to give me a chance to make her mine. Now that I knew that chance was nonexistent, that Daisy was Cameron’s, that her life was moving on and I was stuck in place, I knew the truth.

I needed to let her go, and I needed her to leave me alone.

But I didn’t know how to tell her that.

So, instead, I rubbed the back of my neck, trying to ignore the way my heart squeezed once she was out of my arms again. “Had some students come to me at lunch with questions. I was going to come find you once my after-school tutoring sessions were done.”

“Clearly,” she chided, eyeing where my hand still held the door.

I swallowed.

Charlie watched me a moment, and when her eyes softened with pity, I had to grind my teeth to keep from screaming at her to stop feeling sorry for me. She wouldn’t even be able to deny it if she tried. We both knew it, anyone who saw her face when she was near me could see it. She felt sorry for me.

She wanted me to find love again, as if it was just so easy to do now that I couldn’t have her.

That’s the way it always went. The person who left had the most power, and the person left behind had the most despair. One would move on, the other would live in heartbreak until enough time had passed. And two years still hadn’t been enough time for me to so much as open the damn door, let alone close it and move on.

“So, how are you feeling?” I asked, holding the door open for Charlie so we could both get out into the fresh spring air. The sun warmed my skin as we fell in step on our way to the parking lot.

“Oh, I’m okay. A little sad to have to leave little Daniel this morning, but he has his sister. And our day care is the best, I couldn’t ask for better.” She smiled. “I’ll be back with them in a month for summer break. That’s what gets me through.”

I wondered why I’d even asked, like hearing her talk about her children with her husband would bring me any sort of relief. Then again, it was never about me when it came to Charlie. I only cared about her.

“Yes, you’ll be back home soon.”

We were quiet then, only our steps on the concrete and the distant sounds from the after-school practices filling the silence. I walked Charlie to her car first, opening the door to help her inside.

Tell her you need space.

Tell her you’re happy for her, but you need to heal.

Tell her to stay away.

But I couldn’t say any of those things, even when I knew I should. My heart was begging me to let her go and move on as much as it was threatening to abandon ship if I ever let her go.

Masochist — that’s what I was.

“What about you?” she asked after a moment, that same flash of pity crossing her face. “How have you been? I haven’t heard from you since Daisy’s birthday party.” Charlie paused, her voice lowering. “I miss you.”

My head dropped back, eyes searching the sky like there was some sort of god who could deliver me from this misery. As much as I wished she’d never say shit like that to me, I couldn’t deny the way my heart throbbed at the words, the way my chest fluttered with a hope that I was sure would kill me one day.

And somehow, I was thankful that she was oblivious to it, to the way her kindness killed me. If she was aware of it, she’d leave me alone. I’d get what was best for me — time and space to heal.

But I’d lose her in the process.

And that was the choice I never wanted to make.

“I’m doing great,” I lied, smiling when I met her gaze again. “Picked up another night at The Kinky Starfish, and I’ve got a summer job lined up. Mr. Henderson’s niece is in town and needs some help overcoming a repetitive strain injury.” I shrugged. “Apparently she’s pretty talented, so it should be fun.”

“That does sound fun,” Charlie beamed, like the fact that I had something even that small to get excited about somehow relieved her. “Have you met her yet?”

A flash of the dark, sad eyes I’d found across the restaurant last night hit me at her words, and I nodded. “Last night. She’s… well, she’s not what you’d expect when you think of Mr. Henderson’s niece.”